Page 98 of Stars May Burn

He lifted my chin with the crook of his finger. “You, Sophie, were never a problem. We’ll deal with your father like we deal with the king and Lord Lyrason. You’ll see, we’ll survive them all and everything they throw at us, including this.” He inclined his head toward the tonic.

I forced a smile. “What happened to your usual line about impending, unavoidable death?”

He looked down and scoffed. “Well, I have more to live for now.” He reached up and kissed my forehead. Warmth flooded the skin under his lips and the flush traveled all the way to my toes.

Kasten helped me to my feet. “I know you know a lot about these herbs, but I would still prefer to have Physician Harris examine you again in light of what we’ve found.”

I nodded, and he tugged me toward the doorway. I looked over my shoulder to Callum, standing alone next to the giant cauldron. “Just keep it boiling until all the liquid is gone and scrape off the precipitate. Don’t let it burn or it will be useless.”

Callum saluted me as if there was nothing else in the world he would rather be doing, and Kasten swept me away under the protection of his arm.

Physician Harris bowed her head and left. My blood pressure had already improved from the tonics I’d made. There was nothing more she could do.

Maybe I could still have children. Maybe I couldn’t.

I’d thought about my own possible infertility before, but it felt different now, not only because of what my father had done, but because of what this might also do to Kasten—Kasten, who already experienced so much grief and darkness in his life.

I sat on the edge of my bed and stared into space, the reality of everything sinking in. It had been done to me without my knowledge or permission. I felt violated. I brought my knees up to my chin.

Kasten hovered beside me as if unsure what to do. “Do you want me to get your maids? Maybe something else to drink apart from water?”

I shook my head and reached out to him. “Stay with me. Please. If you have the time.”

The bed tilted as he sat down beside me and took my hand. Despite everything, it felt good for our fingers to be entwined as we listened to the clock tick for a few minutes. I wet my lips, trying to find a topic of conversation that might make me feel better. “Did you say you first saw me in a garden?”

The corner of his lips twitched up. “Yes. At Trembok Castle. I saw you from one of the windows.”

“Oh.” My cheeks heated at the memory. “I snuck out during the king’s speech and hoped nobody would notice. It was wrong of me, I know, and Miss Claris caught me. Frederick had mentioned in passing that there were starleaves in the garden, and I wanted to see for myself. They’re a hybrid that are only grown for royal gardens. I’d never seen one.”

Kasten smiled more openly as he studied where my hand was swallowed by his. “You’re always so curious, even when everyone tells you not to be. I love that about you.”

The warmth in my cheeks grew, and I looked down at my lap. I had never thought of curiosity being a positive thing. Though I supposed if I wasn’t naturally curious, I would still be taking those awful tonics.

At the thought, my mood dropped again.

The silence returned, a little more comfortable this time. Kasten cleared his throat. “Do you want to talk about what your father did?”

I shook my head, and he rested his free hand on my knee. Despite everything, I could feel the warmth of his attention all the way through my body. It was…nice.

“Talk about yourself. Please. Distract me.”

He was silent for a long moment more. “You know, I was twelve when my father first tried to kill me.”

I looked at him in shock. “What?”

“Poison in my glass. It made me sick for weeks, but I didn’t drink enough for it to kill me. I wasn’t sure who it was at the time, but I know now. It was just after Prince Stirling caught pneumonia and barely escaped death. I think almost losing his legitimate heir changed something inside of him. From that day on, he has always been ruthless at eliminating threats for Stirling to take the throne after him.”

I swallowed down my horror. Oh Kasten…

I took a sip of water. “What happened to your mother?”

“She was banished. It was a condition of the king marrying the queen. She didn’t want his old mistress around. And she was forbidden from ever contacting me again.”

“How old were you?”

“Three.”

“Do you remember her?”