Page 97 of Stars May Burn

He spooned some into a ceramic mug and passed it to me, the contents still bubbling. I reached out to take it, but Kasten got there first. When I looked at him inquisitively, he shrugged, almost slopping the liquid over the brim. “It’s hot. I’m wearing gloves. You’re wearing red cabbage.”

Callum snorted. “I’ll never get used to what you call humor, Kasten.”

I moved my purple-stained fingers away from the cup, and avoided Kasten’s eyes. Both of us ignored Callum. “That makes sense. Will you help me pour it then?”

I poured Father’s tonic into a clear glass and motioned for Kasten to pour the boiled bigsweed into it while I poured some red cabbage juice into a few other glasses.

I swirled the cup and waited for the liquids to separate.

“What are you testing for?” Kasten asked, his eyes lingering on my fingers which were getting clumsier, the more self-conscious I became.

I took a deep breath to calm myself. “I’m trying to figure out the components of the tonic Miss Claris and Father gave me. The one they bring up and insist I drink every time I see them. It’s supposed to be a fertility tonic. It might just be that they’re eager for me to secure our marriage by conceiving an heir to solidify their links to royalty. But…I just want to know for certain.”

Kasten’s body was suddenly touching my side as he looked down at me, one hand hovering over my back. “You think it might be something else?” I couldn’t help meeting his eyes now; the concern I saw in them made me look away again.

My heart rate picked up. “I just want to know,” I breathed.

The tonic separated into five distinct layers as if I had poured oil into water. I carefully siphoned off each one before noting their colors and adding them to the red cabbage. The bottom layer was thick and golden, clearly honey, so I left that in the glass. “If I know their original color and their acidity, I should be able to work out what they are.”

I waited for the red cabbage water to work as an indicator and fully change color, then recorded the results next to the original shade, using a chart in my book to cross-reference them.

With each answer, my mouth grew drier and my stomach turned to lead. Smartweed. Thistles. Balefodder. Cowstongue.

Kasten’s hand found my back as he leaned over the page, frowning in impatience. “What are they? What do they do?”

I swallowed, my throat tightening. My body became oddly stiff and numb. How could Father do this? How could Miss Claris? Had she known or had she just been following Father’s orders? As their betrayal sunk in, the numbness vanished, and it felt like a knife slicing across my belly.

Kasten’s tone became increasingly concerned. “Sophie? Come away from the fire. It’s too hot.”

I let Kasten take my elbow and guide me to a seat by the door. Callum continued stirring the cauldron, out of earshot unless we raised our voices. I didn’t let go of the paper, reading the names over and over.

Kasten knelt before me, his hand resting on my knee. “Sophie?”

I looked down into his concerned expression. “All these herbs reduce fertility, Kasten. They’re to stop you from having a baby.” Tears spilled, and I wiped them away angrily. “All those months, I thought it was me who failed to bear Frederick a child, but it was…it was…”

Kasten dismissed the kitchen staff with a sharp command and gathered my hands in his, still kneeling on the flour-speckled floor. “Your father did this? Is it permanent?”

I lifted my shoulders in a defeated gesture. “I’m so sorry, Kasten. I should have thought of this before. I just took it. I didn’t think.”

Kasten’s face tightened. “Don’t apologize. Don’t you dare apologize. This is not your fault. None of what happened is. But I want to know how much they’ve hurt you so I can understand how you feel. Tell me about these herbs.”

I nodded and tried to calm my breathing as tears threatened to overwhelm me. “Smartweed and thistles have only short-term effects on fertility.” I paused for a moment to get a good breath of air. “Balefodder, if taken regularly, may have long term effects on your womb. Cowstongue can have dangerous side effects such as general ill health, weakness, and dizziness.”

Kasten licked his lips and closed his eyes. His expression became hard, and he shifted on his heels like a predator. “How long have you been drinking this regularly?”

“Every day since a week before I was married to Frederick until I married you. So just over a year. I’ve drunk it maybe two or three times since I arrived in Kasomere, since I didn’t need it.” I leaned forward and took his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Kasten. I didn’t know. I’ll throw the rest away.” This might mean that not only could I never have children, but Kasten couldn’t either.

“Don’t apologize.” He repeated with anger I knew wasn’t directed at me. He blew out a breath as if what he was about to say was difficult for him. His eyes flicked up to mine. “What would you like me to do, Sophie? Whatever you want to happen to your father, I can make it happen. Whatever you need, just tell me.”

I shivered at the violence in his eyes even as his empathy drew me toward him until our foreheads rested on each other. “I just…need to think. I need space to think.”

Kasten shifted, the tension not leaving him. “You understand what he intended, don’t you? He kept you from having Frederick’s children so he could take his lands for himself. This all but proves his part in Frederick’s death. He intended to do the same here. Use you to take Kasomere when I died.”

Fear punctured my chest, and I grabbed his shoulders. “So, he really does plan to kill you too?”

Kasten rocked back on his heels so there was space between us and gave off a dark laugh. “You really think your father has a chance at killing me? When the king and half the nobility have already failed?” He sneered. “He might have been expecting the campaigns to do it for him. He said he’s met with the king. He might have heard how little they expected me to survive this year.”

I sagged and hugged myself, squeezing my arms. “I’m sorry. You have so much to deal with already, and I’m only adding to your problems.”

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