Page 89 of Stars May Burn

Meena opened the door to reveal a worried-looking Beatrice. Behind her was a guard dressed in the city guard uniform.

Beatrice bobbed a curtsy. “My lady, you have a visitor coming. He’s being held at the city gates in case you want them to send him away.”

I stood, my heart rate increasing. “Who?”

It’s…it’s your brother again. George Halfield.”

Callum stood abruptly and swore. “She only just saw him last week. The nerve of that man!” He turned to me. “Just send him away, Sophie. You don’t need to deal with him again.”

I took a sip of juice and found it hard to swallow. I wasn’t sure if I was strong enough to face George right now. I was still recovering from seeing Father. “Did he say why he was visiting?”

Beatrice nodded. “A social visit.”

Callum slumped back in his chair with his hands raised in the air. “This is getting ridiculous. This can’t continue or Kasten will end up murdering somebody.”

I held up my hand to give myself space to think. Callum was right. This couldn’t continue, and this was my chance after failing to stand up to them at the ball. I was sick of being small and weak. I didn’t want to feel like I was drowning in darkness again. And that meant I needed to finish this.

There had to be a reason he was visiting Kasomere again when I’d been so blunt with him last time. George and Father were up to something, and I would probably be the best person to work out what. Whatever it was would likely be dangerous for Kasten. They had stolen Frederick’s lands, and I was certain they wanted Kasomere too.

Determination started to seep through my nerves, and I sat taller. I could protect Kasten. I could show George I was too strong for their games now, and he would report it back to Father. Then they would leave us alone.

I met Callum’s eyes. “I’ll see him. They’ll never leave me alone if they think I’m prey.” I clenched my hands into fists. “I can’t hide behind walls or Kasten any longer.”

Callum frowned and lowered his voice for my ears alone. “Sophie, I’m not sure this is a good idea. Kasten left predawn with half the regiment to do maneuvers in the fields around Kasomere. I don’t know when he’ll be back.”

I blew out a breath and found the last scraps of my strength. “Send a messenger for him. He can join us when he’s ready.” I turned to Beatrice. “Tell the guards to escort George to the castle and that I will see him. Don’t give any of his companions the opportunity to look around the city or the castle.”

Beatrice bobbed a curtsy. “He will take about half an hour to arrive.”

I nodded and turned to Callum. “Thank you for breakfast. I should go and make myself presentable.”

“But Sophie, you’ve barely eaten anything.” Concern was clear on his face. “You didn’t eat dinner yesterday either.”

I smiled at him. “I’m sorry. The bread was delicious.”

As I turned to leave, my heart thudded. I needed to get ready to face my fear and never feel so helpless again.

Kasten

Normally returning to Kasomere felt like returning home. But not this time. Not when Sophie hadn’t spoken to me for a week.

I entered the castle after six hours of practicing troop maneuvers around our castle. I was tired but didn’t draw strength from my reserve. I knew the danger of becoming too reliant on them. My body needed to be resilient enough to cope without it, and the surge of fresh strength could become addictive. I knew too well how easy it could be to run out in real battles. I didn’t want my body to be unprepared.

The tiredness was also a good distraction from Sophie. I was pretty sure she was avoiding me, and it was killing me. Before she’d even had the courage to come to my office. She’d initiated our kiss. Now I barely even glimpsed her in the garden, and when I did, her head was bowed and her hands clasped in her skirts. The day after the ball, she’d been ill, keeping to her room all day and not leaving her bed. She’d been quiet all the way back to Kasomere. Her maids had said she needed rest, but her beautiful smile and unbreakable joy had vanished.

I wasn’t sure why she wouldn’t talk to me, but I was certain this was all the result of seeing her father. I knew too well the drowning darkness and self-hatred that could rise up from seeing the person who should love you but destroyed you instead. How I wanted to kill that man. But I knew Sophie didn’t want me to make a move against him. My anger was best directed into fuel for training my men for the next campaign.

However, she still visited and talked with Callum. That bothered me more than it should. They seemed to connect in a way I couldn’t. I knew I should be glad that she had somebody to confide in, but I wished that person was me.

I missed her so much, it physically hurt. I hadn’t even known such a thing was possible, especially when we had spent little time together. It was like that dance where we came so close to touching, but never actually did until it had driven me mad. I wanted her to stumble into my arms again so I could finally feel her beneath my fingertips. But was that purely selfish? Was she safer this way, kept at a distance from all the pain I might cause her?

I thought of her blank face as she walked through the gardens, and my heart clenched. No. I didn’t want her to be in this state, but I didn’t know how to free her from it either. How could I when I so often felt trapped in my own dark thoughts and feelings of helplessness?

And in one week, I’d be back at the palace, planning another reckless campaign I might not return from. When I died, I would simply be replaced by Prince Stirling. The war against Kollenstar would go on and on. Kasomere troops would continue to be sent to die, and Sophie would be left vulnerable, protecting secrets that everyone was trying to find out.

Why had I ever allowed myself to think this relationship might work? The closer we got, the harder it would be for her when I died.

But I didn’t want to die. Not anymore. My instincts rebelled against the inevitability of it.

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