Page 74 of Stars May Burn

I took the bamboo and squinted down its hollow center. “I’ll see what I can do. For it to be strong enough, it may be lethal in cases of self-injection.”

Callum shrugged. “What’s a little more danger to add excitement when you have a rabid person trying to kill you a few paces away.”

I gave him a look that showed I was questioning his sanity.

Callum waggled his eyebrows. “Since you’re helping, you’ll just have to be in the east wing room when the next halfsoul comes in so you can help me determine the efficacy of this on our subject. But maybe don’t get so close next time. I dread to think what Kasten would do if you were injured.”

I frowned. “Because he feels guilty and responsible for everyone?”

Callum snorted. “Because he treasures you and has no idea how to show it.”

A warm uncomfortableness accompanied Callum’s words. I wanted them to be true, but Callum could be misreading the situation. Kasten didn’t like being in my company. It made him awkward and uneasy. Was it still possible for him to treasure me? But what would anyone treasure about me? I’d barely been of use to him.

Though, I supposed I was growing to treasure him, despite our limited time together. After all, we were married. Maybe he was working on nurturing his affections.

SOPHIE

Iwoke energized with a mental list of tasks I wanted to do. I needed to help Callum find the right sedative. Grow and prepare more bigsweed and yellowmoss for Physician Harris’s use. Transform a room into a laboratory where I could make medicines. Talk to Mistress Rose about better ways to manage the servants. And learn more about Kasomere’s wider finances. The more I showed Kasten I could manage Kasomere, the more he could concentrate on his soldiers and the campaigns. My sense of purpose made me eat breakfast quickly, and I almost missed the white and gold envelope that lay beneath the normal household reports.

On the front in swirling gold ink was ‘General and Lady Batton.’ On the back was the king’s private seal.

I opened the envelope carefully and found an invitation inside on thick, expensive paper. I read it twice with growing excitement. There was going to be a royal ball in Adenburg, and my name was written in gold ink next to Kasten’s. I would be there as a relative to royalty. I knew Kasten didn’t like social situations and felt uncomfortable. But maybe this was an area I could be helpful. I could smile and charm and be fashionable. Maybe I could even help heal some of the relations between Kasten and his family. Ease his cruel reputation with the masses outside of Kasomere.

That the king wanted to kill Kasten was inexcusable, but the rest of Kasten’s family could surely become valuable allies.

I burst into Kasten’s study and flourished the invitation before his desk. “We’re invited to a ball at the palace. It has my name on it too.”

Kasten barely glanced at it and sat back in his chair, his head falling to one side as he studied me. He didn’t chastise me for my rushed entrance. “You can’t seriously be thinking about going?”

My excitement wavered as my confidence plummeted. “Y…yes. I would love to accompany you. I’ve not been to one of the official royal balls before, but I’ve been trained in all the appropriate etiquette. I won’t let you down. I could help build your political and social standing by cementing beneficial relationships.”

Kasten sighed and pushed his seat back away from the desk so he could rest one leg on the other. “I don’t doubt that, Sophie, but I don’t think you understand how dangerous this is. Going with me publicly to the royal palace will make you a target. When people think about how to get to me, they’ll see you and get ideas. Just as the Red Man did.”

“Oh.” Everything in me deflated. I was primarily a weakness to him.

“Sophie…” Kasten stood and took my hands cautiously as if he was scared I might flinch again. He had never taken my hands before. What did that mean? My heart rate picked up at his closeness, and I raised my eyes to his chin, not daring to raise them farther in case he saw the hurt there. The calluses on his thumbs brushed the soft skin on the back of my hands. I instinctively took a step closer, craving his acceptance and warmth.

Kasten’s voice became soft with a rough edge that caught on his words. “Sophie, think about it for a minute. Many people there are actively trying to kill me. The king sacrificed Whitehill for the chance to get rid of me. There is nothing good in that place, nothing but deadly games. You are precious. The thought of you in that place… Well, to be frank, it terrifies me.”

My breath caught. Precious. Did he really mean that? It was close to what Callum had said. Was he just placating me when delivering disappointing news?

I licked my lips and squeezed his hands. “Kasten, please don’t just hide me away here. I want to help. Being at that ball, I might be able to make a difference in your favor. Even if it’s just some support. At least, you would be less bored if I was there.” I attempted a smile. “I would really enjoy it. Besides, nobody is going to try to harm me in front of the most refined nobility in Fenland.” I forced my gaze up into his dark eyes and found them intense and conflicted. Vulnerable.

“Sophie, if they try to harm you…I don’t know what I would do. I’m not sure I would be able to control my response. And that…well…that scares me too.” He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “But the last thing I want is for you to feel like a prisoner. Of course, you may go wherever you please. But you do need to understand how dangerous it is. There are games you will become a participant in merely by your presence.”

I straightened my back. “If you’re going, I want to go, too, Kasten. I want to stand openly by your side. I can’t expect you to risk your life to keep this place safe and not risk my own in turn. This is something I’ve been trained for.”

I felt his body tense through where our hands touched. “You will stay close to me?”

I smiled and nodded. “Always.”

He looked at me in a way that warmed me all the way to my toes. He was being so…gentle today. Almost intimate.

Before I could change my mind, I reached up on tiptoes and brushed a small kiss on his lips. Flutters erupted in my stomach, and I heard his breath catch as he went completely still. My heart raced as if it couldn’t believe my sudden audacity. I had just kissed him. And it felt different from anything I’d ever experienced.

Kasten was standing rock still as if in shock. I didn’t free my hands but stepped back and looked down, suddenly acutely embarrassed. That had been far too forward of me. I had no idea if he had wanted me to kiss him. I’d not respected his boundaries.

What would Miss Claris have said?

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