Page 117 of Explosive Prejudice

Swallowing hard, I nodded. The mere thought of him being locked away from me struck me with unbelievable fear. I’d rather die than see that happen. Unable to control it, tears gathered in my eyes because the idea made me so lonely. And to think that a couple of hours ago, I was thinking of leaving.

“Hey, now,” he whispered softly, wrapping my head in his arms and pressing me to his chest. “Why are you crying?”

“Because the thought of you going to jail scares the shit out of me,” I admitted, sniffing and feeling bad because I was smearing his chest with snot.

Resting his cheek against the top of my head, he sighed. “I’m not going anywhere, so you have no reason to be afraid.”

“Promise?”

“Sí, Llorón.” He kissed the top of my head. “Until you, I never thought about my future. Ending up in jail seemed inevitable. Not anymore. Now, I’m willing to fight it, to do anything to ensure it would never happen, because ain’t no way I’m leaving you alone.”

Swallowing back my tears, I nodded, praying to God he meant his words.

“Now, then…” He tracked the wet trails on my cheek with his finger. “How about you tell me something about yourself?”

Biting my lip, I took a deep breath, already knowing where he was heading.

“Do I have to?” I asked, my voice weak.

“I already told you I’d never force you into anything. But I would appreciate it if you shared with me what he’s doing to you.”

“You saw what he did,” I said and tried to move from on top of him, but he kept me still.

“Yeah, but why? And for how long? When did it start?”

Dropping my head against his chest, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, letting the sound of his heartbeat surround me.

“He’s been controlling my life since the day I was born, but the violence didn’t start until I was older. The first time he hit me, I was six. I spoke back to him, and in return, he slapped me on the mouth. In the following days, I was so scared to the point I peed myself when he talked to me. I can assure you that it has only gotten worse since.”

“Why would he do that to you?”

That was the million-dollar question that often kept me awake at night.

“I don’t know,” I admitted, pulling my shoulders. “If I knew, maybe things could’ve been different.” To assume my dad abused me simply because he hated me would be pure stupidity. If that were the case, my life would have been a hell of a lot easier because then I’d just detach myself from him. In reality, my dad had managed to convince himself, and me, that he loved me. He loved me so much it was sick.

“If I had to bet my money on it, I’d say it’s the control. He needs to be in control of every aspect of his life, and suppressing me is just another way of it. He gets off on humiliating me. You should’ve seen the expression he had when I pissed myself out of fear that time. He just couldn’t look away. It was pure insanity. He thrived on those moments like an addict who got his daily dose of drugs.”

Camilo’s stare hardened, and I could see the repulsion in his expression, so I forced a smile.

“Don’t worry. I’m probably making it sound worse than it is.”

He grabbed my hand. “Don’t you dare minimize it,” he said, his voice firm.

I nodded.

“What about yesterday?” he asked.

“Last night, he did what he did after finding out about the club… He had pictures from when we fucked in the public space. He was furious beyond words, and a part of me understood his anger.”

“How could you say that?”

I shrugged, then focused my stare on our tangled fingers.

“He trained me well.” I took a deep breath. “So well that now whenever he raises his hand to hurt me, a part of me believes I deserve it.”

Straightening up, I moved to sit on his lap. “I don’t want your pity, Camilo. In fact, I don’t want anyone’s sorrow. It’s why I’ve never told a soul what I just shared with you, and I plan to keep it that way.” He said nothing, so I went on. “My dad and I have a complicated relationship. He’s a part of me, and he’ll forever be a part of me. I hate him with all of my heart, and at the same time, I can’t imagine my life without him. So you need to decide if it’s something you can live with or not. Because if you can’t cope with reality, I’d rather you just leave now—”

He shut me up with a kiss, leaving me breathless.

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