Page 74 of Jordan

After the card game was over with the guards, I sat with Sheldon for a bit. He had a rough childhood. His father was an alcoholic who raged at him and his mother. Oleander grew up down the road from him. Once Sheldon’s father would go to sleep, Sheldon would sneak out and go to Oleander’s house and stay there until the sun came up. Sheldon told me as he got older, he stopped doing that, wanting to stand and take what his father dished out night and day, so it didn’t fall on his mother.

When Sheldon was old enough, he couldn’t take it anymore and left. He begged his mother to go with him, but she refused. She passed away a year later. His father had beaten her badly. She suffered a massive heart attack and died. His father was still rotting in jail, on borrowed time, with a failing body from years of drinking and not taking care of himself.

Sheldon had visited him once, just so he could see him behind those walls and know he was serving time. It didn’t erase the guilt Sheldon had at leaving his mother behind. I told him it wasn’t his fault, though he didn’t hear me. Being in an abusive relationship, no matter the type, was a horrible place to be.

Dexen took a seat on the couch beside JJ while Greer went outside to check on the steak.

“I’m surprised you’re taking a night off,” I said.

“JJ and Greer can be very convincing.”

“Yeah, we can.” JJ grinned then turned to us. “So, the old man hasn’t chased you two away yet?”

“Nope,” Hartley said. “Quite the opposite. We’re in it for the long haul.” Others wouldn’t have noticed, but I felt Jordan relax against me.

I nodded. “We are. As much as you can’t understand it, we’re happy with him.”

“It’s not that I don’t understand. I know what it’s like to fall in love. It’s just… He’s…” He motioned to his father. “Him. He’s done a lot of awful shit. I could have seen him with Malik. The man was an asshole, but you two are the complete opposite.”

Jordan placed his hand on my thigh as I was about to respond. “They are,” he said. “Maybe that’s why it works. I need them to balance and ground me.”

“It makes sense,” Dexen muttered. “If we were the same as those we’re in a relationship with, it would get boring as hell.”

“He’s right,” JJ added. “I’m nothing like Dex or Greer. Sure, I go to an office every day but it’s not where I feel at home. I want to be under a car, getting dirty, and fixing shit.”

“You don’t have to stay working at PJS,” Jordan said. “I wanted the world for you, Jordan. That meant getting into a career path where you could keep excelling.”

“I was a reflection of you, right? Me driving around in my beat-up truck or on my Hartley, that wasn’t the ideal look for your son.”

Jordan sighed. “Yes, that was part of it back then, but it wasn’t the truth. You deserved more. Being with PJS meant you had security, not just in your career but in your life. It put distance between us, as much as I hated it. You haven’t been targeted in a while now.”

“Neither have you.”

“There are reasons for that.”

“I’m sure there are. Why can’t you just come out and say you give a fuck? I know you do. You’ve done everything you could to keep me safe. Why keep finding reasons to justify your actions?”

“It’s easier that way.”

“He cares,” I interjected, even though it wasn’t my place to be part of this conversation. It was between Jordan and JJ, but I couldn’t keep quiet. “He loves you, JJ. It might not be in the traditional sense with affection or words. Your father doesn’t do things that way. But he does care.” I took Jordan’s hand in mine where it still rested on my thigh.

Dexen’s fingers wove into JJ’s hair, calming the man instantly. “He cares, Jordan,” Dexen murmured to him.

The back sliding door opened a moment later, Greer calling out that dinner was done. We stood, but JJ hung back, taking his father’s arm to bring him to a stop. I paused, waiting to see what JJ would do. I didn’t expect him to pull his father into an embrace like he did. They hugged, as brief as it was.

JJ clapped me on the shoulder as he walked past. “Thank you, Vail.”

Hartley and I stayed in the living room a minute longer as we waited for Jordan. His eyes met ours and we both went to him, to hug him in a different way. Jordan accepted our embrace, putting his arms around us and holding us tight.

“You two… Thank you,” he whispered.

“We care too,” I said, more than I was willing to admit out loud.

Jordan wasn’t the only one having trouble with words. What I felt for them was so damn big, yet giving it a voice felt like a Herculean task. I wasn’t ready yet. One day I would be, there was no doubt.

Dexen nodded to us when we finally entered the dining room. Surprisingly enough, Greer smiled at Jordan. It didn’t last long, but it was a start.

Jordan and JJ weren’t the only ones trying to improve their relationships. Jordan tried to do the same with Hartley and me, learning how to be more vocal, and showing us he could be vulnerable around us and his family too.

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