“I’m fine. Besides, Dana is sick. I had to cover for him.”
“I can call Dexen?—”
“I don’t need you trying to take over. If I didn’t think I could handle it, I’d tell him myself.”
“You’re right.” His hand dropped, but it didn’t go far. It skated over my arm until it found my hand, where he squeezed it gently. It was odd holding hands with him. He didn’t seem like the kind of guy who walked down the street, holding his lover’s hand. Then again, I couldn’t picture Jordan walking down the street unless everyone was dodging out of his way.
“Why did you come?” I asked.
“My home is empty without you and Hartley in it. I still have Tahoe’s bed and his food.”
“I forgot to grab it when I left.”
He pushed off the truck to bring his body inches from mine. “Come home with me, Vail.” The words were a plea rather than a demand.
“Why?”
“Because I miss you.”
“You said you don’t want me to be yours.”
His eyes held mine, not wavering in the slightest. “You are though, aren’t you?”
I could tell him no; say I didn’t want any part of the life he led. It would be a lie. I wanted to be his, but only if he wasn’t controlling me. I wanted him to call me his because he cared. Because he needed me safe and didn’t want to see me hurt. Because he wanted me to fly rather than cage me. He was capable of it. He’d brought me home when I said I was leaving. Had it been Gil, I would have been slammed into a wall and paid for trying to walk away.
There was no benefit in me comparing them. Jordan wasn’t Gil. They both did illegal shit in very different ways. I couldn’t look past what Jordan did, but I also didn’t have it in my face except when I saw the blood on his skin.
“Vail.”
“I’ll only be yours if you’re mine too.”
“Out here, in my home, anywhere except my bed, we’ll have a balance. We’re equals. I don’t want to tame you, Vail. I want you to give me every part of you.”
“What will you give me in return? I won’t accept any less than all of you. This isn’t a game. I don’t go around staying with men. If I have an itch, I get it scratched and move on. I don’t want that with you.” I was already feeling far too much for it to be a one-night stand.
“I’ll try. It’s the best I can do. But you have to let me protect you and you have to be honest with me. The last two people I gave my heart to both needed to leave this world.”
Placing my hand on his chest, I said, “I’m not going to try to kill your son. I don’t hurt anyone. It’s not in my nature. It’s always the other way around.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You’ll only control me in bed? And if I say to stop, you will.”
He nodded. “One word and everything grinds to a halt.”
“You need to be honest with me too. I’m not asking you to give me information about your organization, but I don’t want to feel like I’m in a bubble with you. The world can be a scary place, although I’m not scared to live. I’m only afraid of what those in the world can do to me.” I brushed my hand up his chest, up his neck to his beard, which was softer than I remembered from the kisses we shared. “The world has hardened you. Maybe I could soften you a little.”
Jordan took my wrist in his hand and turned it over so he could press a kiss to my palm. “I can’t make any more promises yet. I’m worried what will happen.”
“I’ll give you one night. If by tomorrow morning you want to end this before we go any further, I’ll leave.”
“It already is morning.”
I rolled my eyes as a smile teased my lips. “Wednesday morning then. When we wake, tell me if you can’t give me what I need.”
“Which is?”
“All of you.”