Page 3 of Ballads of Lines Blurred

He worked at Perry, Jordan, & Sons Auto or PJS as they referred to it. Val was smart as hell when it came to working on vehicles. He channeled his skills as a mechanic at JJ’s shop into a company friends of ours owned. Working in their R&D department, he got to expand his skills there.

Next was Corbin, the sweetheart of the trio. Calm, kind, an all-around great person, who anyone would want as their friend. His personality served him well as an emergency room doctor. His job was tough and, at times, drained him. I’d seen the effects firsthand. Not the day he tried to save my mom. I was sobbing on the floor of the ER when he found me. But other times, after I came to live here, I witnessed what losing a patient did to him. Corbin was closer in age to Xaiden with only six years separating them. Xaiden was the oldest.

Xaiden was the one most people feared. As an ex-fighter, he wasn’t to be fucked with. He’d taught me everything he knew about fighting and working in his gym. They named the city of Dremest after his family. Along with his brother, Dexen, they were the next generation to carry on the legacy when their parents fully retired. Xaiden and Dexen had been taking on more responsibility the older their parents got.

Xaiden, Val, and Corbin had worked on their parenting style. My sister and I came to them when I was eighteen and she was fourteen. Two teenagers who weren’t the easiest to handle. Val was tough, at first, in a good way. He was the one we had to win over if we wanted anything. But he’d eased a bit since then, smoothed out his rough edges.

Corbin was a pleaser and wanted everyone happy. He didn’t let us completely walk over him, although Olivia and I knew his weaknesses—us. That wasn’t a bad thing. I had a ton of respect for him and his work. He was an amazingly kind man.

Xaiden resided in the middle of them. He soothed over any disagreements and was who we had to get in our corner if we really wanted something. My sister asking if she could go to a concert or me telling them I was going to spend the weekend in New Jersey with my friends. It wasn’t the same as me saying I wanted to date a man nineteen years older than me.

We’d had a lot of discussions after they realized I was interested in Slater as more than a crush. I didn’t like that word. It felt childish to me, something I was trying not to be. I couldn’t be if he was going to see me as more.

What’s going to happen when he goes on tour again?

Slater and you lead two different lives.

Are you going to be okay with fans throwing themselves at him?

You don’t know him. Yet you’re willing to ignore other people for him?

It wasn’t like they’d said words I hadn’t thought already. There was nothing I could say to them either. I wasn’t on speaking terms with Slater, let alone knew a lot about him. God, I wanted to though. I wanted him to tell me everything.

Dominic had mentioned Slater had started showing up at the club. Whether he said it to pique my interest, I had no clue. Either way, it worked. Anytime Dominic was around, I listened.

Or Perry or Peyton, Dominic’s partners.

Or Milo. Or Hale, Danny, Simon, JJ, Greer, or Dexen.

Pretty much half of our group was aware of the goings-on at Untouchable, but Dexen had his finger on the pulse. He might not sit at a table on the floor with the members of the club nightly, but nothing happened without him being made aware of it.

Whenever I caught Dexen alone while he was visiting us or when we were at his house, I asked how Slater was. Dexen would look at me with sympathy. He didn’t tell me much, but he’d say if Slater looked happy or not. More often, he said Slater kept to himself, sitting at a table, watching the dancers, and leaving. Part of me reveled in the fact he didn’t ask for private dances. A different part hated he went there to begin with. I wasn’t anti-Untouchable. I was anti-Slater looking at the men on stage with lust. I was muscular, filled out thanks to working with Xaiden at the gym, but I couldn’t move like those men did. I couldn’t offer him the same.

“Why does it come back to my age?” I asked them. “Every conversation circles back to how old I am. When can we drop that and move on? Have I shown you I’m not mature? Have I made you think I can’t handle a relationship with a person older than me?”

Xaiden leaned forward so I could see him better. His copper hair was brushed out of his eyes, revealing the serious set to them. “You’ve been one of the most mature young men I’ve ever met since the day we were introduced. It’s not that we think you can’t handle a relationship, Cody. It’s we don’t want to see you get hurt. You’re looking at our concerns the wrong way. We love you. Whatever we can do so you don’t feel another ounce of pain, we will.”

“You can’t protect me forever. While I understand it’s ingrained in you to do so, let me make my own decisions, even if it means my heart gets broken. I don’t want to walk around always wondering what if.”

When Xaiden was eighteen, he lost a girl he loved with his whole heart. He lived for many years with her death on his shoulders, even though he didn’t cause it. It wasn’t until Val and Corbin came along that he could let go of Sasha and move on with them. I understood his protective streak and loved him more for it, but he had to let me breathe.

“If anything were to happen to you,” he said. “No matter how small, I’d wonder what I could have done differently.” The torture he wore like a second skin, the pain as memories washed over him of past events, they hurt me too. I hurt enough for all of us sometimes.

I gripped his hand in mine. The three of them wanted the best for me. “I love you. All of you. You have to let me live though. You have in the past. I’ve been on dates, out to parties, and other shit. I understand you see Slater as dangerous to my heart, but I’d rather experience love and loss than nothing at all.” Xaiden tried to pull away as I realized what I’d just said. He tried to hide the tears in his eyes. “I didn’t mean it like that,” I said softly.

“I know.” He swiped under his eyes with his free hand. “I get it. Never having Sasha in my life is unimaginable. The pain though…” He curled his hand into a fist and placed it over his heart. “It’s real, Cody. To love Sasha was a gift. If Slater is who you want, after you’ve waited and given it as much thought as you have, then we’ll support you and be here for you if you need us.”

Corbin wrapped his arm around Xaiden’s shoulders. “We love you, Code.”

Val nudged my foot with his knee. “I’ll still kick Slater’s ass if he hurts you. I’m fucking serious. Rock star or not.”

I scoffed. “Please. You fanboy all over Ruined and Relinquished. You wouldn’t fight any of them.” To say Val loved their band was an understatement.

“If he hurts you, you’re going to find out the lengths I’ll go to. You come first. You and Olivia.”

2

MILO

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