Page 29 of Ballads of Lines Blurred

I’d texted with Romeo repeatedly after I met him at the dance club, the same night I met Slater. Romeo was a dancer at Untouchable and, from what I’d heard, damn good. I wouldn’t know. I wasn’t old enough to get into there as a member. There was a twenty-one and older rule.

“I offered Slater my body,” I said. Why that word choice was what I landed on was anyone’s guess.

“We’re diving right in. Got it. Did he reject you?”

“No. I mean, he tried to, but I was persuasive, and, in the end, he touched me.”

Romeo held his hand up. “Details aren’t necessary. Keep it to a high level. Tell me how you got from A to B.”

I started from the time I walked to Slater’s door, which he knew about thanks to Dash telling him, to when I kissed Slater and left. When I was done, I had to get a glass of water while I stared at the murder scene on the counter. How did they walk past it without wanting to put a towel or a tarp over it?

“Cody, get back in here,” Romeo said. “Do you think I’m going to yell at you or tell you what you did was wrong?”

“I don’t know. I can’t help feeling like I fucked up and made things worse with Slater.”

With his dark hair pulled back into a bun, and his striking light blue eyes, Romeo was the total package with his dancer’s body of lean muscles. He was beautiful. There was no other way to put it, but he had nothing on Slater. “I have an idea about what Slater goes through because I have anxiety as well. That doesn’t mean I know the exact thoughts that run through his head or about his coping mechanisms. He and I have talked about it. I was lucky Dash knew what to do when I panicked. Sure, some of it he did on the fly, going with his gut, but he’s been there for Slater countless times.

“Having been with Dash and Tristan for a while now, I can say that sex works. All the time? Hell no. But their touch, whether sexual or not, makes me feel better. No matter what’s going on around me, as long as I have them, I’ll be okay. Anxiety isn’t easy and it sure as fuck isn’t logical, but with the right therapy, medication, support system, and ways to cope, it’s manageable. That doesn’t mean someone needs all those things. They find what works for them. For Slater, his ways aren’t mine, at least from what I know. I won’t betray his trust and tell you what he’s confided in me. Offering him what you did might not be a bad thing.”

I sighed. “I get it can’t replace therapy, but I had this overwhelming desire to be there for him in a way no one else has. That maybe, if he can see past his hang-ups about me, he’ll get to the root of who I am, which is exactly what I’m trying to do with him. I want to see who he is at his heart and soul, not what he shows the world. Slater won’t date me. So, I offered me being there for him, whether that’s holding him or more.”

“And you regret it?”

“What if he only sees me for my body now? What if he calls and we fool around then he kicks me out when he feels better? That would gut me. But I’d take part of him over nothing. God, I want him, Romeo, and not just for his body. I want to know everything about him. He’s so deep, this well inside him that shows as pure torture on his face. I want to take that away and make him smile. Show him he can be happy with me?—”

“And Milo,” he cut in.

“That’s another thing. What the hell did I do? He’s obviously interested in Milo. I go to Slater’s house and throw myself at him?” I groaned.

“Milo said he was good with anything. How about you? Do you want him to date Milo too?”

The web I wove in my head had no way out, no option to untangle myself from it. I was in the thick of it, with no idea what to do. “The thought of Slater with another hurts, but the thought of not having him at all is worse. Milo’s a good guy and he’s hot. For a moment at Dex’s party, I felt a connection with him, but I broke it fast. I think Milo hides how he feels from everyone.”

Romeo nodded. “He likes to joke and have fun. He’s a flirt, but only with single guys. I also don’t know him well, just what I see when we’re at work. I have an idea, but it might be shit.”

“I’ll take any suggestion you have.”

“Go talk to Milo.”

“And say what? Sorry for throwing myself at the guy you’re dating? That’ll go over well.”

“Go to him and explain how you feel about Slater. He might see what you do in him. Slater does a good job of showing the public what they want to see. Hell, he’s been doing it for decades. He’s the hot rock star. The fans watch him on stage and want to be with him. If I go off the limited knowledge I have of Slater’s one-night stands, not including Tristan, because I don’t want to think about that.” I completely forgot Tristan had slept with Slater years ago, long before he got with Dash and Romeo. “Slater only gives the people he has sex with his persona in bed. He doesn’t reveal more. When you went over there, he let his guard down and let you see the real him.”

I scoffed, “Not by choice. I walked in on them playing and heard his lyrics.”

“Doesn’t matter. He ran, and you followed. You proved to him you weren’t there for what the fans desire. You’ve demonstrated you want who he is inside. And by the way Milo wants to date him, he wants that version of Slater too. The one no one else gets, outside of family and friends. You two could be exactly who he needs.”

“So, Milo and I fall in love with Slater, and then what?”

Romeo shrugged. “Maybe you and Milo find something in each other you didn’t realize was there before. You admitted he’s hot and I’m sure he thinks the same of you. Or you find a different way to make the relationship work for all three of you. You could be open and enjoy it. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. Just society and how they think we should be. They can all go to hell.”

“Milo’s flirted with me, but nothing that would lead to us going further. It was innocent.”

“Is this the first time you’ve thought about the possibility of the three of you being together?”

“No, although I can’t see how it would work. I feel so much for Slater already. Milo is a friend. I haven’t explored anything beyond that with him.”

“Do you want to?”

---