Page 22 of Ballads of Lines Blurred

“Whatever you need.”

His eyes slammed closed.

“If you don’t want me, tell me, because I’m finding it really hard not to kiss you right now.”

“Sex isn’t therapy,” he stated.

“No, and I’m not a therapist. I’m guessing you already have one of those.”

He nodded.

“Why can’t we both get something we want?”

Gorgeous eyes finally opened, spearing me with their intensity. “It would break me all over again to cause you more pain.”

“Keeping yourself away does the same.”

“So, we’re what? Friends with benefits?”

“Were we friends? I remember barely speaking to you.”

He tried to push me off him but didn’t put his full weight into it. If he had, I would have let him do it. I outmuscled him, though I wouldn’t force him to stay like this. “I hate myself for the way I treated you. You were so nice to me, and I was an asshole. You deserve better.”

“I deserve this.” I ground my cock against him, proving my desire. My heart pounded in my chest, about to come out of my rib cage. If I made this about more than sex, I worried he’d show me the door. As we were, hopefully he’d keep me in place. “No strings,” I told him and myself, a reminder to us both. I’d take him any way I could get him. It was desperate. Then again, so was I.

“What if I hurt you?” The repeated words, a plea of fear.

“I’m a big boy, baby. I know what I’m getting into.”

“Your family will hate me if they think I’m using you for sex.”

“Can you use the willing? We can keep whatever happens between us. No one has to know.”

“What about Milo?” In my desire to touch Slater, I forgot about Milo.

Bold words slipped from my lips. “Continue to date him.”

“What?” he asked with wide eyes. “You want me to sleep with you and date him?”

“He obviously knows there’s something between us by the way he led you to my room at the party.”

“Milo told me he was good with whatever. That I have to be honest with him and he’ll be okay. He knows I want you, but I want him too. I’m sorry. I can’t turn part of me off for the other. If I’m going to be honest with him, I should be with you too.”

The words weren’t what I wanted to hear. I rolled off him to my back, lying by his side while I stared at the ceiling, reconsidering what I’d proposed.

“I knew this wasn’t a good idea,” he muttered and sat up. I caught him by the wrist before he could leave.

“Just give me a second, okay? This is unfamiliar territory. I’m not asking you to commit to a relationship with me.” I sat up, growing bold again, and climbed onto his lap, my thighs pressing to his hips as my fingers found purchase in his dark brown hair. “We’ll have sex or touch or simply hold each other when you need me. Nothing more. And you still date Milo. We both know where we stand.”

“I don’t think you do.”

“Slater, if you can’t commit to being in a relationship with me because of your fear, then we have to keep this about sex. Otherwise, I will get hurt and neither of us wants that.” I knew we’d both suffer in the end. I kept those words to myself though.

Slater wouldn’t let this go anywhere if he thought he’d break my heart. And I wanted something with him rather than nothing. Maybe during our time together, I could prove to him I wasn’t too young. That I could bring something real and beautiful into his life. I just had to show him who I was while looking deep inside him, so he couldn’t push me away for thinking he wasn’t good enough.

“This isn’t right. How do I get you both when you each only get a part of me?” he asked.

“Maybe part of you is all we need.”

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