Page 53 of Ballads of Lines Blurred

“A what?” I asked.

“You know, one of those stores that sells things that smell nice—soaps, lotions, body wash, candles, all kinds of shit. Anyway, I was walking by one day and saw him decorating the front window. He was cute. I had to go in and pretend I needed a gift for a friend. Long story short, I fucked him in the bathroom and ended up walking out with a hundred dollars in soaps and lotions, and a smile on my face.”

“How long ago was that?”

“Five months or so. Before I got with you and Slay.”

“And he randomly showed up at your house? How does he know where you live?”

“I may have gone back for seconds three weeks after the first time.”

I groaned.

“I know! I shouldn’t have. I rarely used to. But I was walking by again. You should probably know there’s a pizza place next door I love. There he was dusting the front window and his shirt lifted. I got a peek of skin and I suddenly needed soap again.”

“How much did you spend that time?”

“The order had to be shipped to my house.”

“That’s how he has your address.” I wasn’t upset he did what he did. More irritated this guy showed up there thinking he could get with him again.

I heard a door opening on the other end of the line. “Here,” Danny said, his gravelly voice rumbled. “Tom said this is for you.”

“Get those away from me,” Milo rushed to say. “He just wants my dick again. I won’t be bribed.”

“I should hope not,” I said.

“Shush. I’m not going to cheat on you and Slay. What did he say?” he asked Danny.

“That he saw you online and was wondering if he could get in on that. His words not mine. I told him to fuck off then took the bag and closed the door in his face. If he comes here again, I’m going to threaten him. You know what, I’m taking the soap since you made me deal with your psycho ex.”

“Not really an ex,” Milo said. “It was only two orgasms. Wait. Three. He blew me the second time then I fucked him. I have a good rebound.” I could hear his grin through the phone.

“Don’t need to know.” There was a solid click over the phone, signaling Danny closed the door.

“He took my soap,” Milo pouted.

“Really? You’re going to sulk over soap that was only brought over as a bribe so he could sleep with the three of us?”

“Right. Sorry. That was wrong of me. I still have two boxes of soap, lotion, and body wash in the basement. Hey, do you like the smell of peaches? I think I have twelve bars of those.”

I sighed. “How many more of these guys do I have to worry about?”

“Worry? None. They usually don’t have my address so they can’t follow me, though a simple internet search would reveal where I live.”

“Lovely.”

“Stop. You and Slater have nothing to worry about.”

The door to the room opened again, this time with a loud bang like it bounced off the wall.

“Nope!” I heard Hale yell. “Danny is not keeping your orgasm soap. These are yours for being a serial fucker. You can dispose of them.”

“They smelled nice,” Danny said.

“Then you can sit your ass outside by the pool and wash yourself until your heart’s content. I don’t want them in the house.”

“They’re just soap,” Milo added.

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