Page 17 of Ballads of Lines Blurred

“You’re going to have to earn his trust, Code. Show him you’re there for more than the persona he has on stage.”

Everything had drained out of me. The anger, frustration, the growing pit in my stomach wondering how I was going to let him go when I didn’t have him to begin with. What Val said made sense. So much sense I was pissed I hadn’t realized it sooner.

“And Milo?” I asked.

“That’s up to you and Slater. I won’t say you should have a third. It’s not an easy dynamic, but you’ve seen it can work.”

“I hadn’t considered him as more. He told me a little about losing his parents.”

“You two have that in common. A horrible tragedy that was different, though the result was the same.”

“I miss them.” My eyes filled thinking about my parents. I didn’t bother to blink the tears away. Sometimes it just hit me. This gnawing pain like claws pulling at my chest. “God, I miss them so much.”

Val pulled me into his arms, dropping to the ground so he could properly hold me while I wept against him. It had been years since I lost them. Something would make me think of them and the wound was fresh again.

“I’ve got you,” Val whispered as he held me.

“I’m sorry for crying on you.”

“Never apologize for that.”

“I love you three. It’s not that I don’t.” I leaned away to wipe at my eyes and nose. “I wish there was a way where I could still have them and you guys.”

“I wish you still had them too.”

“They would love you three. I like to think they’re watching us and are proud of Livy and me. Happy we landed in a safe space with you, Corbin, and Xaiden. It hasn’t always been easy with me and Livy, but we love you so much.”

“We know you do. Don’t worry about that.” Val wiped under his eyes, collecting his own tears. “We’re always here for you, for anything you need. I don’t care what you want to talk about. There is nothing you can’t say to us. Got it?”

I nodded. “Thank you for listening to me tonight and putting things into perspective.”

Val pushed up from the ground and brushed the dirt off his grease-streaked jeans. Offering me his hand, he helped me up, then pulled me into his arms again. “It’s easier for me to see what’s happening since I’m on the outside. When we’re in the middle, it makes it more difficult. You’ll get to where you’re meant to be. I won’t bother reminding you the years you still have to fall in love. That won’t do any good. I have a feeling this is a big love for you. Whether it will be the only one, time will tell.”

“I can’t let him go. Not yet. It’s beyond me wanting him to see me as an adult. It’s me wanting him to see me period. I need to do the same for him. I have to look deeper, like you said.”

Val walked toward the back door of the shop, which was still open. “Sometimes smart shit exits my mouth. Not always. We’ve seen the damage I can do. Every once in a while…” He tapped his temple. “I do good.”

I chuckled. “I wouldn’t want you any other way.”

“It’s a good thing because my nonexistent filter is here to stay. Let’s clean up and leave the car for the guys in the morning. I didn’t promise them I could fix it, anyway. I just said we needed a project for the night.”

“No offense, but I hate working on cars.”

Val grinned. “I was hoping you could channel your frustration into it and forget everything else. So much for that.”

“I wanted to throw the wrench at the car.”

“I’m glad you didn’t. Have you met the people who own these older cars? White hair and badass. They might be in their eighties, but they’d fuck someone up for screwing with their stuff.”

“Noted. Don’t get on the bad side of the older people in East Dremest.”

“Fuck East Dremest,” he said. “That applies everywhere. Older people take no shit.”

Words of wisdom from Val Dremest. How he goes from telling me what I should have realized with Slater to talking about older people is beyond me. But I’d take his words every time. He didn’t sugarcoat or say what I wanted to hear. Val didn’t spare feelings. He was blunt and honest. There was no better combo in my mind.

Once we got the shop cleaned and locked for the night with the alarm set, Val slid behind the wheel of his Mazda hatchback. He still wouldn’t let Xaiden replace it. The money was there from what Val made at PJS too. He liked his old hatchback.

In the car with him driving us home, I typed a message to Dash, who had been in a group chat with Romeo and me a few weeks ago, just checking in to see how I was. I saved his contact information.

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