Page 22 of Midnight Heat

He seems startled by my question and jumps up and starts pacing in front of the living room table. After about thirty seconds of this he stops and looks at me.

"I had hoped you wouldn't notice."

"I like kissing, Max. If it were up to me, we'd spend entire afternoons kissing and cuddling. It bothers me a bit that you don't like it."

"It's not that I don't like it. It's just…"

"You can tell me anything, Max."

"It's a very intimate act."

"Does this have to do with the person you lost?"

"Who told you about that?"

"There are rumors, but I haven't gone out of my way to seek more information. I had hoped you would tell me when you felt comfortable enough to do so."

"I'm damaged, Anne."

"What? What are you talking about? Come back here and sit with me. I need to hold your hand while you explain."

He reluctantly comes back and sits down, but he's tense and his body is rigid beside mine. I grab his hand and wait for an explanation.

"I can't be what you need me to be, Anne. I can't give you a happily ever after like those in the movies. I've been selfish, living each day as if the future does not matter. But you deserve more."

I'm not sure how to react or what to say, but this is the most open Max has ever been with me, and I don't want it to stop. I want to know all his truths.

"Explain it to me like I'm six years old."

He sighs and tries to get his hand back, but I don't let him.

"Lauren was the love of my life. My soulmate. When she died, she almost took me with her. If it weren't for Erik and Theo, I wouldn't be alive or have this business."

"I don't understand. You survived. You're here with me, whole and beautiful. You run a very successful nightclub that will soon expand to other cities. Why do you think you're damaged?"

"I believe you only get one soulmate, and Lauren was mine. I can't give you any type of future because mine died with Lauren. I can only give you as much as I have given you so far. If you're happy with that, then we can continue, but if you want more… I…"

"What are you saying?"

"I'll never be able to love you, Anne. That part of me died with Lauren."

Great, I'm in competition with a dead woman. I finally let go of his hand and reach for my wine. I finish it in three big gulps and reach for more. I need to get out of here. I'm playing house with a man who claims he'll never be able to be my everything. And even if I wasn't looking for that right now, that is something I want in the future.

"It's funny how you don't know you want something until someone says you can't have it," I say.

I feel his gaze on me, but I avoid looking anywhere but the front of the couch, where his huge TV and sound system stare back at me like I'm a fool. I am a fool, mainly because I let myself get carried away with the great sex and how possessive and protective he is of me. I felt like I belonged to him. I still feel that way today.

We're both quiet while we drink our wine, and I realize I have to make a choice. It's an easy one because he doesn't love me, and I'm head over heels for him. I need to leave. So I get up and go to his bedroom and start packing. I'm trying to make myself angry so I don't lose my shit in front of him, but it's not working.

I remind myself that I don't need a man to make me happy and that life goes on after heartbreak. It might take a while, but I'll get over Maxwell Lewis.

I call for a cab and bring my suitcase downstairs with me. Max is surprised and gets up to try and stop me from leaving.

"Where are you going?"

"Away. A hotel. Somewhere that isn't here."

"Call me when you get there?" He looks sad, but I shift my gaze away quickly.

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