Page 94 of The Love Hack

Then my desk phone buzzed with a call from my line manager. Deep down, I suppose I knew what was going to happen, but I made myself pretend I didn’t. I stood up and walked as calmly as I could to his office, smiled, said good morning and sat down to wait for the words I knew were coming.

‘As you know, Lucy, your probation period comes to an end next week,’ he said, and I nodded.

‘Your work here at the Sentinel has never been less than satisfactory,’ he went on, and I listened mutely.

‘But character matters to us as a business,’ he pontificated, and I felt tears beginning to sting my eyes.

All I could do was sit there and wait while he fired me. I listened to the little lecture he gave me about conduct and professionalism and disrepute, and I knew every word of it was true. I knew I was getting what was coming to me.

And I knew something else, too. I knew that this wasn’t going to happen to Kieren. He wasn’t a junior working out a probation period; he was senior and valued. It would cost money to get rid of him. I knew he’d keep his job while I took the punishment for what we’d done.

When the lecture was over, I asked whether I was expected to work the remaining days of my probation.

'I don’t think so,’ he said. ‘You’ll be paid for them, but we think it’s best if you pack your things and go. HR will be in touch.’

So I packed my things and went, and three days later Amelie came to my flat and found me there.

I’d picked up the pieces of my life and my career. I thought I’d learned my lesson – but here I was again, on the brink of being sacked from Max! in disgrace.

I’d managed before and I’d manage again, somehow. I was a different person now. I was more experienced, more self-assured, tougher. I’d find another job. But I didn’t want another job – I wanted this one.

The prospect of leaving Max! made me realise how much my attitude to it and my colleagues had changed over the months. I remembered walking into the office on my first day and seeing them all there – the Man Blob. Now they were just Greg, Neil, Marco, Chiraag, Simon and Barney. They were my colleagues and my friends.

Oh, and of course Ross. I knew that if things were going to work out between him and me, they’d do so whether or not I was sitting at the desk opposite his all day. Still, the stress of job-hunting and the challenges of adjusting to something new would place strain on our relationship – only days old – which I’d much rather avoid.

And then there was Adam. I was only just learning how to be Adam and I didn’t want to stop learning. I didn’t want to leave Adam’s readers in the lurch; I cared about them all, even the dicks.

Damn it, I thought, please don’t let this be about to happen.

More than anything, I wanted to talk to Ross – to confide my worries in him, hear him reassure me that whatever happened, it would be all right. I caught his eye across the desks and mouthed, ‘Coffee?’ even though we were still drinking the ones we’d bought together. He nodded, half-standing up out of his chair the way he had on that first day, when he’d ended up arse-planting on the floor. .

But before we could get to our feet, Greg approached the pod of desks like the angel of death in a stripy button-down shirt.

‘Morning,’ he said. ‘Good to see you two back. How was the Big Apple?’

His tone was genial, but I wasn’t fooled.

‘Good thanks,’ I muttered. ‘Hot.’

‘Yeah, great,’ Ross said. ‘Glad to be back.’

‘Any chance you two could spare a few minutes?’

Here it was. I stood up and so did Ross. Everyone’s eyes followed us as we walked behind Greg, back the way we’d come to the enclosed meeting room.

We pulled out chairs and sat. I could see a sweaty handprint on the blank page of my notebook. Ross looked bemused, but not afraid. He didn’t know that something bad was about to happen.

‘I suppose you’re wondering why I’ve called you in today,’ Greg said.

We both nodded mutely.

‘As you know, here at Radiant Media, we’re always looking for new ways to leverage opportunities and grow our business,’ Greg went on.

And then those opportunities aren’t working, they get the chop.

‘The technology column has always been a high performer for Max.’

In sharp contrast to Ask Adam.

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