Page 80 of The Love Hack

He shook his head. ‘Not that long. Once they knew they’d got out all the people they could, that part of it was over. But also, it never really ended.’

The waitress brought us our food and put the plates down on the table between us. The sandwiches smelled delicious, but I didn’t feel like eating.

‘He had post-traumatic stress disorder,’ Ross said. ‘He used to have nightmares, waking up screaming. Mum said it was natural, after something like that. She said he’d get help, talk it out, and be okay in a few months. But he never was.’

‘I can’t imagine,’ I said, ‘how anyone could ever be the same after something like that.’

‘Mum tried her best,’ he went on, ‘but she had to protect herself, and protect me. And he changed. His whole personality changed. He was depressed. He was violent, sometimes. To Mum and to me. So after two years she left, and took me back to the UK with her.’

‘Did he get better?’

‘Mentally, yes. I think Mum leaving was kind of the catalyst for him to get more help. By the time I was in high school, I could come and visit him in the summer without Mum worrying too much what he’d be like with me. He even went back to work. But then he got sick.’

‘From the… from what happened that day?’

Ross nodded again. ‘He was diagnosed with mesothelioma a couple of years back.’

‘Meso—?’ I hadn’t caught the middle of the word, but I understood the end. I know that any medical condition ending in -oma was bad news.

‘It’s a type of cancer linked to asbestos inhalation,’ Ross explained. ‘It’s really slow to develop. You can go for years without any symptoms, like Dad did. And once they knew, it was too late for them to treat it.’

‘I’m sorry.’ My voice came out in a whisper.

‘The thing is,’ Ross said, ‘it’s like I lost him three times. You know what I mean? The first, when he changed after the attacks. Then again when we moved to London, where Mum’s from. And then, just when I thought I could rebuild a relationship with him, have a dad again, I found out he had this terminal illness, and I wasn’t going to have him for long.’

‘I’m so sorry. Ross, that’s awful.’

‘He died last year,’ he said. ‘Before Christmas. Last year was the last time I went to the memorial ceremony with him, but I promised I’d carry on coming here without him. Like it was the last thing I could do for him. So you see why I had to come.’

‘Of course I see. I totally get it.’

‘I tried to tell you.’

‘I know you did. I should have picked up your calls. But I didn’t. I was annoyed about – about the thing that happened the other day.’

‘What thing? I’m sorry, Lucy – I guess I did something to offend you, but I’m not sure what.’

‘The When Harry Met Sally thing,’ I muttered.

‘Oh my God. Lucy, I… I mean, it was unexpected, that’s for sure. It didn’t seem like the kind of thing you’d do. But it was hilarious. You totally nailed it. Why’s it a problem?’

To my surprise, I burst out laughing. ‘I suppose you’re right. I guess I’m not the first person to do that exact thing at that exact table and I’m sure I won’t be the last. But I felt really awkward afterwards, like I was hitting on you or something. Especially when I realised you were out with Bryony. I felt really stupid.’

‘Um… Lucy. There's something I need to tell you, because it kind of changes things.’

I swallowed and looked at him, waiting for bad news.

‘Bryony and me – well, we’re not together any more. She dumped me. But if she hadn’t, I’d have probably called it a day myself.’

‘I know,’ I said gently. ‘I found out over WhatsApp. I’m sorry.’

I thought of the details – the guy Bryony had kissed on her night out, and the others she’d mentioned. But there was no way I was going to tell him about that – it was for Bryony to reveal if she wanted to, and I’d have hated to say anything that might hurt him.

‘Thanks.’ He smiled. ‘It’s never nice when something ends. But if it means something else could begin…’

‘Like what?’ My voice sounded kind of hoarse.

‘Lucy, I’m not going to lie, that thing you did in Katz’s – it was… I know you were just play-acting and it was a joke and everything. But it was kind of hot.’

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