Page 76 of The Love Hack

I just needed her to forgive me.

And I needed to tell her friends – who were worried about her too – that I’d seen her. Not about the baby – that wasn’t my news to share. But I’d say I was here, Amelie hadn’t been well and was feeling better, and leave it to them to contact her too, make her feel supported and loved and not so far away.

I needed to reach out to Bryony – to apologise and explain and tell her I’d fucked up, but that there was nothing going on between Ross and me – never had been and never would.

I tapped through to WhatApp, and saw a couple of messages from Ross, which I only glanced at. Astro was okay. He wondered whether I was okay, and why I hadn’t been in touch.

Why do you think? Maybe because I’m not in a hurry to make a twat of myself over a man again, I thought.

Then I opened the bridesmaids’ group.

Lately, it had been busy. Rosa had had a housewarming, Caitlin had got a new job, Eve had got a new tattoo. They’d all been out to celebrate all these three things, and presumably it was then that they’d discussed their shared worries about Amelie, because the only mentions of her on the thread were bright and breezy @s, followed by ‘Wish you were here!’, ‘Miss you, babe!’ and ‘Thinking of you always!’, all festooned with heart emojis in various stages of brokenness.

The latest social event appeared to have been Nush’s birthday – cocktails followed by dinner at a Soho restaurant so on-trend even I had heard of it, followed by cocktails somewhere else. Evidently, judging by the pictures of bacon sandwiches and glasses of squash that followed the next day, a good time had been had by all.

Especially one person. A post caught my eye and I stopped scrolling, then scrolled slowly up again to try and make sense of it all. The night out had taken place on a Thursday – last night, the night I’d seen Zack and Brooke on their night out. And the post-mortem had begun several hours previously, owing to the time difference.

Nush: OMG I am dying. Legit dead. Thank God clever sober me booked a day’s holiday from work. I’m planning to leave my bed only to spew.

Bryony: I’m on the train to arsing Swindon for a shoot. Kill me now. Why did none of you bitches remind me of this when we ordered those mezcal margaritas at one a.m.?

Eve: We could have reminded you, but then you got kind of… busy.

Nush: Yes, you were otherwise occupied for the rest of the evening, weren’t you, snogging girl?

Rosa: Another night out, another hangover, another set of pics on my phone of Bryony’s head practically disappearing down some random’s throat, lol

Nush: I don’t know how you do it, babe. It’s quite impressive actually. One minute we’re having a perfectly normal night, the next – BAM, snog alert.

Eve: At least this one was hot, not like the one last week. You seriously had your beer goggles on that time, chica.

Bryony: Was he hot? I actually can’t remember. Oh well, go me, I guess.

But what about Ross? I thought, torn between fascination and outrage.

Nush: What about that Ross bloke you were seeing, anyway?

As if she’d read my thoughts, a whole seven hours before I’d thought them.

Bryony: Yeah, him, ahahaha. I suppose it’s not ideal, is it? Three nights out in a row I’ve ended up kissing some other bloke. Do you think it’s a signal from the universe?

Eve: I mean, you do you. It’s not as if you’re married to the guy, right?

Nush: No, obviously. But if you’re going round hooking up with randoms every time you leave the house, it’s got to tell you something, right? Call me a relationship expert, but maybe you might just be trying to tell yourself something?

Bryony: Tell myself what? That Ross isn’t that into me? I already know that. Hence the snogging, I suppose.

Eve: Oh, babe. You never said! We thought it was going so well.

Bryony: Yeah well. Denial’s not just a river in Egypt, right? He’s nice and everything, but whenever I’ve tried to have the exclusive talk he’s got all weird on me and said he’s not sure he’s ready for a relationship. So I’m like, fine, you don’t want to be exclusive, I won’t be exclusive, and I’ll snog whoever I like when I’m out.

Nush: Aw, mate. Maybe you’re right – that’s ‘just not that into you’ vibes right there. And maybe you’re not that into him either…?

Bryony: I was, honest. Or I thought I was. But you know, you can’t carry on flogging a dead horse. And besides, Charlie, the dude from last night, has already messaged me, so…

Eve: Time to move on? One door closes…

Bryony: I guess. I was meant to be seeing Ross tonight, though. Is dumping someone by text still not cool?

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