Page 32 of The Love Hack

‘Feel ya. With Marie it was the evenings, right until the ninth month. Couldn’t keep anything down except ginger biscuits.’

‘Jesus. Well, at least we’ve only got six months to go, right?’

‘Yeah, then the sleepless nights and shitty nappies kick in.’

‘Right. Remind me again why we thought this was a good idea?’

Then they ordered their coffees and started talking about a Powerpoint presentation they were working on, instead.

At work, I overheard Chiraag on the phone to his mother. Evidently she was organising an anniversary party for his grandparents, and wanted Chiraag’s opinion on everything from the gift to the buffet. Chiraag, I knew, was only child – no doubt if he’d had a sister this burden would have fallen on her. But as I listened to him spending fifteen minutes at a stretch saying, ‘I really don’t know, Mum. I’m sure Nan will be happy with whatever you decide. So don’t spend six hours making samosas, buy them in. Yeah, I know yours are better – sorry I suggested it,’ I felt as if I was getting a glimpse of a family life I’d had no idea about – pressures on his emotions and time I’d been unaware of, and probably wouldn’t have cared if I had.

That same day, I – or rather Adam – received an email that left me more than usually perplexed. Working during our lunch breaks was frowned upon by Greg, but it was raining so I ate my sandwich at my desk instead of going out, and the call of the mailbox was strong. I flicked it open on my phone and opened the first of the five unread emails that had arrived during the morning.

Since Ross had returned from holiday, the awkwardness between us seemed to have settled down somewhat. We still avoided making eye contact except when it was absolutely essential, but we were back to saying good morning and offering to make hot drinks for each other, and being able to discuss work problems without breaking out in a storm of competitive blushing.

So, when I looked up and saw that Ross, too, was eating a sandwich and scrolling idly through his phone, I felt as if I could make conversation with him without either of us dying of shame.

‘Hey, Ross?’ I said.

He looked up, a triangle of ham and cheese sandwich halfway to his mouth. ‘Mmmm?’

‘If you fancied your mate’s ex, and she fancied you, would you think it was okay to ask her out?’

He looked startled, then grinned, and I wondered whether anyone, ever, had managed to see that smile and not smile back. ‘If I fancied – who?’

‘Just theoretically. Say your friend had been going out with a girl – not seriously, but exclusively – for maybe six months, a year or so back. And you were all part of the same friendship group, and now you and this woman were getting close and you’d both told each other you liked each other. Okay to do something about it, or not?’

'How seriously are we talking here?' He hesitated, then went on, 'L-word territory, or not?'

I couldn't help wondering whether he'd ever told a woman he loved her. He must have done. Who was she, and when, and had she loved him back?

‘I dunno, Lucy. It’s a tricky one. I guess you should think about your mate’s feelings before thinking about some girl you like.’

‘So that’s a no, then?’

‘But on the other hand,’ he took a bite of his sandwich and chewed thoughtfully. He managed not to look gross when he was eating, I noticed – no spraying crumbs everywhere, or anything like that, ‘on the other hand, it’s not like they were married or anything. Or were they?’

‘Not married. No kids either.’

‘And their break-up, was it, like, acrimonious, or amicable?’

‘Fairly amicable, as far as I know.’ Louis from Manchester certainly hadn’t mentioned anything about it not being amicable.

‘They I’d say it’s more of a grey area. I mean, in an ideal world, no one would date anyone their mate had been with, because of the potential fall-out.’ He shrugged ruefully, like the conversation had got more serious than he’d expected. ‘But we don’t live in an ideal world, do we?’

In an ideal world, you’d have not snogged Bryony. ‘Not so far as I can tell.’

‘Well then.’ I heard him breathe in, and he carried on, almost reluctantly. ‘Maybe the thing to do is have a word with your mate, talk to her, see how she’d feel about it. And if she’s okay with it, then you’re free to make a move on this dude. Sisters before misters, right?’

Damn it! I was blushing now. ‘Hold on! I said theoretically.’

He laughed. ‘Okay, fine. Theoretically then, Lucy, have a chat with your mate and if she’s okay with it then knock yourself out. And good luck.’

‘Ross, honestly.’ I hadn’t expected the conversation to take this turn. ‘I’m not talking about me.’

‘I see. So you’re “asking for a friend”?’ Then I saw realisation dawn on his face. ‘Oh wait, it’s one of those Ask Adam questions, isn’t it?’

‘Yeah, as a matter of fact. And it’s a guy wanting to date a girl whose ex he’s friends with, if that makes any difference.’

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