Page 37 of Not in a Million Years

Then she spoke again, listened, and spoke some more.

When she ended the call, she put her phone down in her lap, her hands trembling.

‘I’ve found him,’ she said.

I gasped.

‘Is he…’ I began.

‘Is he okay?’ Daniel asked.

‘He’s in hospital,’ Ash said. ‘They wouldn’t give me any details, but it sounds like he’s not in great shape, but not in actual danger either.’

‘What happened?’ I couldn’t think of the words for my worst fear. ‘I mean, he didn’t… try to hurt himself or anything like that?’

‘It depends what you mean by that.’ Ash poured a fresh glass of water and drank it. ‘He crashed the car.’

‘Shit,’ Daniel said. ‘Was anyone else involved?’

‘I don’t know,’ Ash said. ‘Oh God, I hope not. This is all my bloody fault.’

‘What? Of course it’s not.’ I reached over and touched her hand. ‘Why would it be your fault?’

‘He came here because of me. It didn’t work out because of me. He left because the row we had was so awful I said I didn’t want him spending another night in my apartment. It was night-time. I should have let him stay.’

‘Ash,’ I soothed. ‘Trust me. I’ve known Andy for a long time, and I don’t think what you’re saying is right. Sure, he came here because you’re here. But mostly he did it because he wanted to. And as for your argument – I don’t know what it was about and it’s none of my business. But when Andy’s in a certain kind of mood, he could start a fight with himself in a locked room. And when he’s being like that, no one would want him around.’

‘And the way he drives when he’s pissed off…’ Daniel added. ‘I had to make him pull over on a motorway once and tell him if he didn’t slow the hell down, I was going to get out and walk. And that was just because Queens Park Rangers were three–nil down to Chelsea.’

Also, I thought – although I wasn’t going to say it; Ash was perfectly capable of working it out for herself – that sort of behaviour, self-destructive but also capable of hurting others, was typical of Andy at his worst. You’ve hurt me and so if I hurt myself, it’ll be all your fault.

Ash gave a watery smile. ‘Thanks. Thanks for trying to make me feel better.’

Daniel said, ‘We should go and see him. Find out what the deal is.’

‘The hospital’s in the city,’ Ash said. ‘Near where the airport is. I can take you to the road in a golf buggy and order a taxi for you, if you like?’

We talked back and forth about the logistics for a bit, and eventually decided it made more sense to walk back to our hotel and pick up our own hire car there.

‘But don’t you want to come?’ I asked Ash.

She shook her head vehemently, so the long dark plait swished back and forth across her back. ‘He said he never wanted to see me again. He meant it. I’ve got to respect that.’

‘If he’s changed his mind, we’ll let you know.’ I entered her number on my phone.

‘And we’ll drop you a line once we know how he is, if you like,’ Daniel added.

There seemed to be no point in lingering after that. We thanked Ash and said goodbye and headed off back down the path towards the coast. This time, Daniel didn’t power ahead of me as he had on the way up but walked more slowly alongside me, his shoulder almost touching mine, our footsteps on the gravel path sounding as if they belonged to one person, not two.

This time, he didn’t suggest stopping to look at the cat feeding station.

Fourteen

‘Here’s what I don’t get,’ Daniel said, easing the car into a gap in the motorway traffic.

It was mid-afternoon; we’d returned to the hotel, showered and changed because we were both sweaty from our walk, and had a hasty lunch because we were starving – as Daniel had said, there was no point in going to see Andy if we were going to slip into hypoglycaemic comas and need medical treatment ourselves. I hadn’t been able to resist pointing out that equally, if he drove like some kind of lunatic, there’d be three of us stuck in hospital beds rather than just the one.

‘What don’t you get?’ I watched the red line on the satnav leading us onwards. Unlike the little aeroplane icon I’d watched on our flight out, which had felt as if it was leading us to the beginning of a journey, this felt as if, at last, we were nearing our destination.

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