Page 60 of The Perfect Putt

“What’s going on?” she asks.

“Yesterday Miles had lunch with his dad who–” I pause. Molly would never share information like this, but I still want to be considerate of Miles. “Let’s just say they don’t have the best relationship. And while I was waiting for him to come back, he called Fitz and asked him to come pick him up and to tell me that I should go home for the day. Then this morning he texted me not to worry about coming by his place, but that he’d meet me at the beach tonight to talk.”

“What do you think he wants to talk about?” she asks, leaning over to tear off a piece of my untouched croissant. I push the plate over to her. I don’t know if I can stomach anything until I talk to Miles.

“I don’t know. Lately he’s been different, in a good way.” A smile pulls at my lips. “He’s touched me more and looked at me like I’m more than a friend. Much more than a friend.” My face heats as I recall the way he looked at me on the beach.

Molly smiles. “That’s amazing, Ellie! I’m so happy for you.”

I look down at my drink, thoughts racing through my head so fast I’m not sure what to hold on to. “It’s been so great, but he also hasn’t said anything about changing his mind when it comes to marriage or relationships. And after meeting his dad…”

“You can see why he’s been against it,” Molly finishes my thought.

I lift my head. “Yes, and the thing is I like him a lot, Molls.” I pause. Take a deep breath. “Maybe even more than like him.”

It feels childish to say it that way, but uttering the word would make it feel too real. And if I acknowledge it only for Miles to not feel the same, it would be awful. Who am I kidding? It would be awful even without saying it out loud.

I’m in love with Miles. It probably doesn’t make sense to fall for a man who’s said that he’s against marriage. But love defies logic. It wasn’t logical for Naomi and Owen to fall in love while she was on vacation here, but they did. And I’ve never seen anyone love each other like they did. That’s the kind of love I’ve always wanted. The all-consuming kind. The one where you walk in the room and you don’t see anyone else but that other person. The kind of love that sacrifices.

I know I can’t have that with Miles until he chooses me too. Maybe that’s why it’s so scary. The potential for something wonderful is right within reach, but I have to wait on Miles to grab it.

“Do you think he feels the same?” Molly asks.

I think of the smiles he’s given me, the secret ones reserved just for me. The way he says my nickname and how he held me in his arms when I hugged him on the golf course.

“I do,” I whisper and she gives me an encouraging smile.

“Then maybe he wants to talk to you tonight to tell you that. I mean he invited you to the beach. What’s more romantic than that?”

I bite my lip. My nerves have my stomach swirling like the drink I’m stirring. “We do both love the beach.”

She reaches across the table and grabs my hand, then squeezes it. “Don’t worry about it. Everything will work out. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, there’s no mistaking he has feelings. And if things don’t go the way you expect…”

My heart drops. She squeezes my hand again with a wry smile.

“There’s always Mr. Wilkin’s boat.”

Her words surprise me into a laugh. We end up giggling hysterically together. My nerves begin to dissipate the more we laugh together.

I dab under my eyes with a napkin. “Thanks, Molls, I needed that.”

“I’m always here for you.” She stands up. “Now breathe, and eat your croissant.”

I follow her advice and take in a deep breath. It’s all going to be okay.

I smile and hope I’m right.

I pull my cardigan tight around me as I walk down Wave Way. The palm trees overhead sway with the intensity of the wind. I’m glad I pulled on this sweater before leaving. I was tempted to wear Miles’ sweatshirt, but I worried that it would look weird to wear it two days in a row. So now I’m walking to the beach in jean shorts, a lavender shirt, and a white knit cardigan. I stared in the mirror after getting dressed and imagined Miles telling me he wanted to be more than friends. Several outfit changes later, lavender seemed like the best color for confessing feelings.

The closer I get, the more my stomach swirls and my chest aches. I simultaneously want to run there and slow down at the same time. The wind whips through my hair. Coastal Cove’s usual gentle windchime lullaby has been replaced by wild clanging mixed with the sound of palm fronds fluttering. It’s not the most romantic soundtrack, but our relationship has always been a little more chaotic than a peaceful beach evening.

I smile as I round the corner to the access point. The crash of the waves joins in with the odd chorus, and eventually drowns it out altogether as I walk down the boardwalk. Cold sand greets the soles of my feet. I take a deep breath of salty air to steady myself. In the distance, just out of reach of the tide, is Miles. There’s no one else on the beach tonight, so it’s just us out here.

His hands are in the pockets of his shorts. He’s facing the horizon, which is turning a deep indigo. The last dregs of the sunset burn orange in the sky, like a flickering candle about to go out. The image of his silhouette against the sky is something worthy of a painting. If I was as talented as Jada, I’d run home tonight and paint this moment. But since I’m not, I’ll have to be content with the memory hanging in the gallery of my heart instead.

As I get closer, I notice the tight bunch of his shoulders beneath his white t-shirt. He’s hunched over slightly, probably from the cold since he’s wearing a short sleeve shirt. With a smile on my lips I step up and wrap my arms around his waist.

“Hi,” I say quietly, resting my cheek against his back. His muscles don’t relax at my touch. Instead, they seem to coil tighter. I step back and let my arms fall to my sides.

---