Page 74 of The Relationship Clause

The elevator doors open, and we step inside. I pull Junie closer to me, taking both her hands in mine. My heart pounds an erratic rhythm against my ribcage. I swallow hard, meet Junie’s curious eyes—more green than blue right now—and swallow again.

“We have opposite problems.” My voice cracks like a teenager’s. Dang nerves. “You’ve had more dates than I even want to think about.” She breaks my gaze, a flush coming to her cheeks, but I bring her back, stroking the side of her face gently. I’m already messing this up. But there’s no going back now, so I plow on. “Whereas I normally don’t want to think about dating. I avoid it. I have for a long time, ever since Shane and I started our business, I guess. I didn’t want to end up like my parents: corporate giants trying to fit their feet into these glass-slipper relationships while hurting themselves and everyone around them in the process.”

Junie tilts her head, bunching her lips together as she considers my words. I have no idea what she’s thinking, and I can’t stop too long to wonder. The elevator is already slowing down. Any second now, the doors will open, and it will be a short walk to the restaurant attached to the lodge, and then we’ll be in the company of my father and who knows how many other people. I’ve got to keep going.

I move closer to her, so close that I can smell her shampoo. It forces her to look up at me, and the light from the elevator makes something on her skin sparkle, like she applied a faint dusting of glitter on her cheeks. I brush the pad of my thumb against one of them, relishing the silken touch of her skin.

“The thing is, when I’m with you, I feel like I want to try. I’m still afraid I’ll mess this up or that I’ll turn out just like my parents, but I want to try. I’m ready to dive in headfirst, regardless of the consequences. Is that unfair to you though?”

The elevator comes to a complete stop. The wild urge to press the emergency stop button like they sometimes do in movies shoots through me. I resist, and the doors open, revealing another couple waiting to get on.

I’m not ready to end this conversation. We barely got started.

Who am I kidding? This isn’t a conversation. It’s a monologue like villains do in movies right before they’re about to blow things up. Well, I’m no villain, but things might still explode. I need to know what Junie thinks about all this, how she feels. I know she has fears of her own, she admitted to running away a lot, but will this make her more scared? Will she run even harder because of everything I admitted?

We shuffle out of the elevator, and I cast a glance around for a new hiding place for us. Anything. A statue, a giant potted fern, a secluded alcove, but before I can make any decisions, a hand clamps down on my shoulder, and I turn to see my dad, once again ruining the moment.

I’m getting sick of this recurring motif in my life.

“There you are, Son. I was about to come looking for you two. Thought maybe you forgot about our dinner plans tonight.” He squeezes my shoulder briefly but hard, then lets go and walks away.

Junie and I grimace at each other but follow at a distance.

“Is it me,” Junie whispers, “or did he already kind of smell like alcohol?”

“No,” I grumble. All of the emotions previously buzzing through me have soured, dropping into my stomach like dead flies. “It isn’t you.”

This night is going to be a disaster.

I glance down at Junie, hoping to meet her gaze, possibly gauge where she’s at after all of my confessions, but she keeps her eyes ahead. “Do you think your dad would be too upset if I visit the restroom before we go into the restaurant?” she asks.

I wince, hating that she feels the need to ask this, but at the same time, completely understanding.

“I’ll take care of him,” I say, stopping by the sign for the restrooms. “Go ahead.”

The only thing that comforts me is when she squeezes my arm right before she lets go. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but it feels like a promise. A promise that I haven’t messed things up and we’ll talk more later.

CHAPTER 23

JUNIE

After Owen’s confession, my body switches to autopilot as my brain struggles to process what he said. I walk into the bathroom without actually experiencing it. I’m a ghost floating along behind my body.

All of my internal sensors are blaring, and the old familiar feeling, the urgent need to run, takes over. I have to get myself out of this situation. Leave people before they leave me. That’s what I’m supposed to do here to keep myself safe. It’s what I’m good at.

But I can’t. I’m stuck. I’m stuck until the end of the weekend. And then…

“It might be a good idea to let Owen in on those ghosts from your past. It might help both of you make it through this.”

Kiera’s words come back to me, magnifying my guilt. I’ve had so many chances to open up to him, but I haven’t taken them.

I need to tell him about my mom and dad. Tell him what I’m afraid of. That the thought of actually committing myself to someone for longer than a few months is terrifying to me. I can’t keep relationships for longer than a few months because I’m broken.

What about Kiera? You’ve kept her as a friend. You’re learning.

But that’s not the same. I didn’t keep Kiera, she kept me. She literally wouldn’t let me run away.

Maybe Owen will keep you too. Maybe…

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