Page 17 of The Relationship Clause

He stands to leave, but I get up and block the door. “Look, man, I’m sorry. That was a lame thing for me to say, and I’m a jerk for saying it.”

He shakes his head like it doesn’t matter, but he still won’t meet my eyes.

“Hey.” I put a hand on his shoulder. “Seriously, Shane. I’m sorry. You were right. I have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to love. I’m as emotionally stunted as a first grader’s eraser on a number two pencil.”

My comment about the eraser gets him smiling while I hold back a wince. The truth in those words sting my own lips. They weren’t originally my words. No, that colorful quip was spoken to me by a girl some years ago. I don’t even remember her name or what specifically I’d done to make her so upset. All I remember was imagining myself as this yellow pencil with no eraser and realizing she was right.

At least Shane was able to let himself risk his heart enough to have it broken by Sally. That’s more than I can say. With my dysfunctional parents as relationship role models, it’s no wonder I turned out this way.

The fact that you can admit your shortcomings is progress.

That’s what my therapist would say. But it doesn’t feel like progress. I’ve been wading through all the complicated emotions surrounding my delightful parents and their relationship for years now. I shouldn’t still be this stunted pencil. I know I need to try dating again, make a leap of faith, but putting it into practice is harder to do in reality.

“Come on, let me treat you to lunch today or something,” I say, trying to forget my own gloomy thoughts.

When I mention lunch, Shane finally meets my eyes. “Fine. But I’m warning you, I have expensive taste.”

“Oh, I’m well aware. My wallet’s still recovering from the last lunch I owed you.”

CHAPTER 6

JUNIE

I have to take the job.

I mean, there’s no doubt about that. It’s ten THOUSAND per MONTH! That’s crazy money right there. Dream money. Get-me-out-of-debt-and-then-some money. I knew before I even left his office that I’d be taking the job.

So why didn’t I tell him right then and there?

Because saying yes would make my life infinitely more complicated for a variety of reasons. Reasons that I can’t possibly process on my own without the help of Chinese food and my one and only best friend.

“I still can’t believe your super-hottie Mr. TDC customer was my big brother this whole time.” Kiera shakes her head over her half-eaten take-out box of Kung Pao chicken.

My face flames as I remember all the ways I described her brother to her over the last few months. “Yeah… Sorry about that.”

She shrugs. “No big deal. You can’t help it if you have bad taste,” she says through a grin.

I shove her arm. She’s been teasing me like this ever since I got here.

We’re sitting on colorful pillows on the floor around her coffee table. It used to be our coffee table because we used to share this apartment. Her style is best described as bohemian chic. Pops of color, wicker furniture, gauzy fabrics.

Her new roommate, the one who replaced me, is out for the evening. Even though it was my idea to move out in the first place, I was a little worried when Kiera got a new roommate, as if they would become best friends and suddenly replace me. Kiera quickly made me realize how irrational of a worry that was. This roommate, Ashley, is actually not around much. She has a boyfriend and spends most of her time either with him or at her job at some veterinary clinic in the city. She’s with her boyfriend tonight so it’s just Kiera and me.

“So,” she says, nudging my knee with hers, “you’re going to take the job, right?”

I take an unnecessarily large bite of my Kung Pao chicken to give me time before I answer. “Um, I don’t know if I can…”

“What?” Her eyes widen. “What are you talking about? Why not?”

“SO many reasons!”

“Name them.”

“Fine.” I start ticking them off on my fingers. “First of all, I already have a job at Pete’s, and you know I’m trying to fix my resume. I’d only be signing a contract for three months. I’d have a huge crush on my boss. I’m barely qualified. Your mother boxed us into this situation, and I don’t think she likes me much. I’d have a huge crush on my boss. Need I go on?”

And that’s not counting the major scary point which is the fact that I’d be spying on the office for Owen, a fact I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to share with Kiera.

She rolls her eyes. “Pete is great, but you know he’d be ecstatic for you to move on to something bigger and better.” She pushes one of my fingers down.

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