Page 2 of The Accidental Dating Experiment

“So, poetry then.”

“But not wine.” Details matter, after all.

“Don’t worry. I’m sure he knows everything about every vintage. But the song lyrics? Yeah, that’s a sign.”

“Of what?” I ask, a little indignant.

“That you won’t be headed on a second date together.”

“Are you saying I’m undateable?” That irks me. It’s not my fault the algorithm is evil.

Monroe folds his arms across his chest. “I’m saying he is.”

Wait. What? How could Monroe say that? “You don’t even know him!”

He gives me a look like, Sweetheart, I know him. Then, with a thoughtful hum, he strokes his lightly stubbled jaw.

That’s a little distracting, because…stubble. Nice, golden-brown stubble, a little lighter than his thick brown hair. Also, the pose displays those tattoos on his left forearm. He lowers his hand, making life a little easier for me. “Actually,” he says, “You might even cut out early.”

Blasphemy. Utter blasphemy. “As if I’d do such a thing. I give all my dates a fair chance.”

“I know you’re not the problem. But why don’t we take a listener on Mister Song-lyrics-and-wine’s prospects for a second date?”

“Bring it on,” I say. I love hearing what listeners think. They’re always more hopeful than Monroe, but that’s what I’d expect for a relationship call-in advice show.

Monroe turns to our wunderkind producer at the other end of the table. Sadie’s in the studio with us for every episode, occasionally piping in with a sidekick comment but mostly running all the gadgets and doodads. “Sadie, want to work your magic?”

“I’m on it,” she says with a crisp nod. Pink streaks of once-blonde hair poke out from under her rainbow-striped beanie. She hits a button on her keyboard, opening up the polls for pre-date voting while I take over the talking.

“And feel free, friends, to weigh in on whether I’ll make it to a third date or even a fourth one. But I’m telling everyone, and especially you,” I say, pointing at Monroe with a firm stare, “that I’m breaking my string of bad dates tonight. Want to know why?”

Monroe leans back in the chair, linking his hands behind his head, his eyes twinkling. Even the scar on his chin looks amused. “I really do.”

I sit up straight with determination, visualizing the date unfolding wonderfully. “Because the guy and I planned this evening together. We’ve picked something we both want to do. We’re already vibing. In fact, I bet we have so much fun tonight that the date lasts longer than planned.” Ha, take that, Monroe. “Like a first date and a second date all in one. It’s the extend-a-date plan.”

“Wait. Wait. You’re claiming this combo date is a thing.”

“Yes,” I say, chin up, bravado on.

Monroe shakes his head, his gaze calling bullshit. “You don’t count a longer-than-expected first date as a second date. There’s no such thing as a two-in-one combo date.”

Sadie chuckles, winking at me. “Tell that to my girlfriend and me.”

I smile at her. “See, it is a thing,” I tell Monroe. Then I switch to an exaggeratedly gentle voice. “I know it’s been a while since you’ve been out there, Monroe, but try to stay with me here. It’s called…ExtraDate.”

There’s a curious pause from him. Brief. Then he says, “An ExtraDate, then. Okay. Fine.” Monroe’s smile is even more challenging than usual. “Care to bet on it, Juliet?”

From her producer’s chair, Sadie whistles. “Oh, he went there.”

A bet on how long my date will last? This is new. I won’t back down from a dating challenge though.

“Sure. Bring it on,” I say, wiggling my fingers his way.

“Fine. If it lasts more than an hour, you can ask me any personal question you want on air.”

Sadie’s jaw drops.

Me? I just blink. Monroe is serious. Those are real stakes. He hates personal questions. Ironic for a guy known as the Love Doctor, who started this advice call-in podcast meant to hit every stage of a relationship, from the matching to the dispatching. There has to be a catch. “And you’ll really answer any question?”

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