Page 21 of Coaching Prince Charming

“Can you manage on your own?” he asked in a voice that was as hollow as his eyes.

“Yessir.” I stood up before he told me I could leave and walked out of his office.

What the fuck had I done? Why had I said all those things?

The world spun a million miles an hour around me as I tried my best to stay on course. I walked straight from the rink to the empty team house, but with every step, I felt closer to leaving Northwood altogether.

I couldn’t possibly hope to play for Nate again.

SEVEN

Nate

For the first time in years, instead of burning my emotions through resistance training, I marched through the crowded gym near my building and picked up a pair of boxing gloves. The heavy punching bag was hanging in front of me while I raged like a maniac. I hadn’t done any proper boxing in longer than I cared to admit, and my form was hurting because of it. My reputation, too, according to a few strange looks I received.

But I needed it.

I needed to beat the shit out of something. I needed to work through this without getting drunk and passing out in my bed. That was the most tempting choice, but I knew it wouldn’t help.

Once the muscle burn reached all the way through my arms and pecs into my abs and sweat was dripping from my head, I ripped the gloves off my hands and went to the locker room shower. This gym was passable. Its proximity to my place was the main draw, next to the solution to my issue of running into Carter, where it was too dangerous for us to stand together.

Especially now, after he had said some mind-altering things, after his words had nestled deep in my heart, I found myself in a hole out of which I couldn’t crawl. Fighting punching bags wouldn’t help me, either, but at least I was tired enough to sleep tonight.

God dammit, Carter. I couldn’t get him out of my head after he’d left my office.

Everything seemed to be crashing around me in the days that followed. Carter didn’t show up for drills. Ron promised that Carter was recovering and feeling better, but I was the only one who knew the truth. All the truth.

I wished I didn’t know.

Not only did Dana Prince’s son grow to resent his father and hate the sport he was born to play, but he was also attracted to me enough to kiss me so carelessly in the middle of a street.

And you loved it, my treacherous conscience reminded me. You loved his lips on yours. You loved the feel of his hands on your body. You loved his youth, didn’t you? His innocence. He has never lived in the shadows, twitching and looking over his shoulder like all your other partners. He’s never cowered from his true self. You envied his courage, and you loved his innocent soul.

There never seemed to be a time in the next few days when I wasn’t acutely aware of Carter being on my mind. Even if it was somewhere in the periphery of my consciousness, I knew he was there. Not seeing him worried me.

I could understand a young man being ashamed after getting rejected, but Carter’s behavior wasn’t just that. He wouldn’t have admitted all those things if he’d only been embarrassed by a silly little kiss.

A silly little kiss that had taken ten years off my weary soul…

Beckett and Caden visited me on Tuesday evening. It was unexpected since I’d given them all a break tonight before the trip. The two young men were dressed fairly casually, but they still looked like they cared about their appearances.

“What, tonight?” I asked after hearing their idea.

“Why not?” Beckett asked.

I scratched the back of my head and walked around the kitchen island to find something to keep my hands busy. “I don’t know, Beck. We’re leaving early tomorrow. Chicago’s a big deal.”

“It’s not our first out-of-town game, Uncle,” Beckett said.

Caden chuckled. “We’re capable of going out without getting shitfaced, Nate.”

“I’d have to put up with people recognizing me,” I said.

“That’s just it,” Beckett said. “This isn’t one of our hockey bars. It’s an underground brewery. Think hipsters, indie kids, nobody who’s into sports, basically.”

“That’s right. Before I came out to the team, I used to go on dates there. That crowd doesn’t know that hockey exists.” He was the reasonable one in their relationship, and he still made no sense to me.

“You always say how you want to spend more time together,” Beckett accused me. “I’m leaving next year, Uncle. You’ll have to wait for me to retire if we miss this chance.”

---