Page 98 of Forever With You

And as I lifted my gaze to him, I knew they weren’t the only reasons. I’d fallen for Nick, fallen so deep, and this baby was what had brought us together—­was whatstuck ustogether, and now that wasn’t there. He’d never said he’d loved me. No plans for the future were made that hadn’t included the baby. What were we without what brought us together?

I knew I was going to lose him.

A cramp hit, catching me off guard. My hand flew to my stomach as the pain lanced through me.

Nick was immediately kneeling in front of me. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I gritted out.

“What can I do?” He touched my arm.

“Nothing. Just ...” The pain let up, and pulled away as I stood. “I just need to relax for a little bit.”

His hands opened at his sides. “Is there anything I can get for you?”

I shook my head. “No. I just wanted to let you know. That’s all.”

“That’s all?” He jerked back as if he’d been pushed, and I wanted to look away. I wanted to hide, because this ... all of this felt like my fault. “Stephanie, I don’t know what to say.”

Tell me that you still want to be here.

Tell me that you still see a future for us.

Tell me that you love me.

“There’s nothing to say,” I whispered, looking away.

“You’re wrong,” he said, and hope sparked deep in my chest. “We lost a baby—­”

“I wasn’t even thirteen weeks,” I said, because it was easier not to think about it outside of that. “The doctor said it might’ve stopped developing weeks ago.”

“Weeks ago?” he murmured, wincing.

“All I’m trying to say is that at least it happened now and not weeks from now, not when ...” Not when I was showing or when it would be so much harder to accept and understand this.

Except it was hard to accept and understand. I didn’t get it. I didn’t know why this happened, and I wasn’t just disappointed, I wascrushed,and I—­

“I should’ve been there, Stephanie. Not just so that I could be there for you, but also so that I could be there. And nothing to say? There’s a lot to say about all of this. I don’t know the words right now. I don’t even know what to think, but ... Fuck.” He smoothed his hand over his face. His arm shook. “Why didn’t you call me, Stephanie?”

I blinked. “I ...”

“You know what? This isn’t the time for this conversation.”

My stomach twisted. “Why not?”

He shot me a disbelieving look. “You don’t need to deal with anything else.”

Here it comes, I thought. “I’m okay,” I told him, straightening my shoulders. “What conversation do you want to have?”

“You’re okay?”

“Yes.”

His eyes flared. “You cannot be okay. You just lost the baby, Stephanie. I mean, come the fuck on. You’re human. You’re not—­”

“I’m okay.” My heart was pounding. “What do you want to talk about?”

Shaking his head, he started to walk toward the table—­to his helmet. He was leaving, and panic took root in the pit of my stomach. I stepped in front of him. “Why won’t you tell me what you want to say?”

---