When he wasn’t around, I thought about him at the oddest moments. Seeing certain things reminded me of him. Fresh, crisp scents made me think of his cologne. When something happened at work or if Roxy or Katie said something funny, I couldn’t wait to tell Nick.
Relationships were weird like that, I decided.
A twinge of unease formed. Relationships were also tricky. No labels had been tossed around. He didn’t call me his girlfriend, and vice versa, but what we were doing felt like that. Except I still hadn’t met his grandfather and he hadn’t met my mom.
My mom would really like him. Based on everything I’d told her, about his grandfather and everything, she already did, and while I knew his grandfather wouldn’t know who I was, I still wanted to meet him.
I still wanted more.
Was that what falling ... in love felt like? I sighed. I imagined that it was what it felt like when you weren’t sure if the other person felt the same way. Actually, Iknewthat was what it felt like.
I held out waiting for the perfect guy—the perfect relationship. I never fell for anyone I’d been with. Guys who had no baggage I knew of. Guys who were already firmly seated in their careers. Ironically, it was the most imperfect situation and imperfect guy who was capturing my heart.
Whohadcaptured my heart.
I just didn’t know where Nick stood in this. Yes, he cared about me. I could tell in the way he talked to me. Yes, he wanted me. That was obvious. Yes, he was making plans with me. Those plans centered around the baby. His words lingered in the back of my head.
We’ll make the best of this.
Kind of like when life handed you lemons bullshit, but I wasn’t a lemon, dammit, and making the best of us wasn’t going to get us to the long haul, after the baby arrived and the newness of all of that wore off. Feelings had to run deeper for both of us.
I shook the troubling thoughts out of my head. Standing in the kitchen, staring at the sonogram, I pressed my lips together as I glanced down. There was the tiniest change in the shape of my stomach. Nothing noticeable. Yet. But eventually I would be like Lorraine in the doctor’s waiting room, and my feet would be so swollen I couldn’t wear shoes. I started to grin as I patted my belly. Considering the way I was eating now, I was going to have a heavy belly way before I hit nine months.
Walking to the couch with a glass of OJ, I plopped down and picked up my laptop and resumed my “mommy board” creeping.
Mommy board creeping was a really bad idea I discovered by the time Nick arrived. When I let him in and he kissed me, I was so distracted by everything I’d learned that I wandered aimlessly over to the couch and sat down again.
“I thought you wanted to go out for dinner tonight?” he commented as he took off his jacket.
“I do.” I picked up the pillow.
A slight grin appeared on his lips. “You going to wear that?”
Confused, I looked down at myself. Oh. I was rocking a pair of oversized sweats and an old Shepherd hoodie. “Sorry. I kind of got distracted.”
He sat beside me. “With what?”
I gestured at the closed laptop on one of the pillows that I’d placed on the floor. “I got on these boards—these online forums they call mommy boards.”
“Sounds interesting.”
I shot him a wide-eyed look. “It was terrifying.”
“What?” he laughed.
He had no idea. None whatsoever. Holding my pillow to my chest, I stared at him. “I did learn that I had a symptom of being pregnant almost right after we conceived. My breasts were tender like two weeks after we had sex. I didn’t think you had symptoms that soon, but you can.” I gestured at the computer with my chin. “Did you know the nipple stimulation is the only scientifically proven method of inducing labor?”
“What?” he laughed.
“I’m serious,” I whispered. “Someone mentioned it on this board and so I Googled it, because really? Like that sounds bizarre, but it’s true.”
Nick cocked his head to the side, his green eyes dancing. “I am more than willing to help out when it comes down to that.”
I ignored that as I curled my legs up. “So then I got curious about what the baby really looks like right now, because these women were talking about how they could see eyes and stuff on the sonogram, and all I can see is a lima bean, so I started researching.”
“Okay.”
“And I ... I watched this video, on how a baby’s face forms in the womb, and oh my God, it was the creepiest thing I’d ever seen.”