Page 45 of Forever With You

I closed my eyes. The milk had started to curdle in my stomach. “I know.”

“Do you know how far along you are?” she asked. “It can’t be that long.”

“Based on the one test and timing, I’m at about five weeks.” I opened my eyes and drew in a shallow breath.

Some of the color had returned to her face. “Okay.” Her tone told me she was moving into Mom-­can-­take-­care-­of-­this mode. “About this guy. Does he know?”

I shook my head. “I just found out this past Sunday and I needed to wrap my head around it first.”

“Understandable.” Her hand returned to smoothing the dog’s back. “Do you plan on telling him?”

My mouth opened, but I didn’t have an answer.

She pressed her lips together and then nodded slowly. “If you choose to not go through with this, that is ultimately your choice. No one else’s. I believe that, but I also believe you need to tell the father. Sorry, hon. That’s just the way I feel.”

The father...

God, hearing words like that was like getting shocked by a live wire.

But I knew in my heart of hearts that I personally wouldn’t feel okay with not telling Nick. Not giving him the chance to at least know what was going on, to weigh in with his opinion. In the end, what he felt might or might not sway my decision. I didn’t know, but I didn’t believe that everyone else needed to feel the same way I did. To each their own. It was not my business or my place to say, except when it came to me.

And I knew I had to tell him.

“We need more cake for this conversation.” Mom woke the sleeping dog and placed it on the floor, where Loki scampered off to the water bowl. She went to the counter and returned with two huge slices, one for me and one for her.

“Thank you,” I whispered, my throat scratchy.

“Honey.” She reached over, cupping my cheek. “This isn’t the end of the world. Yes, this is a big deal. It’s a huge one—­one that no matter what you decide is going to stay with you for a very, very long time.”

A knot formed in my throat, cutting off my words.

“No matter what you choose, no matter what option you’re going to go with, I will love and support you either way,” she stated, and the tears filled my eyes then. “You decide you’re not ready for this, I’ll be right there with you if you want me to be. And if you decide you want to go through with this and have that baby, I’m going to be a proud grandmother—­a damn good-­looking grandmother, too.”

I laughed shakily as a tear snuck free and coursed down my cheek.

Mom caught that tear with her thumb. “No matter what, I love you and I will always be proud of you.”

Chapter 13

Imade it back to Plymouth Meeting by noon on Sunday, and while I was still freaking out every ­couple of minutes, I had a better grasp on things. Going home to my mother was the smartest thing I could’ve done.

Hearing her and being around her, spending Saturday curled up on the couch watching movies and pigging out, had helped ground me. We had talked about it, that evening over sundaes, going over the ... the choices I had and their ramifications. There was no doubt in my mind that she had meant what she said. No matter what I decided or what happened, she would support me.

Though when I left a few hours ago, I could tell she had visions of onesies dancing in her head as she stood at the door, holding Loki in her arms.

My apartment was chilly when I stepped inside. Taking my bag to my bed, I dropped it off and then turned around, heading for the thermostat in the hallway. I cranked it up and then ate the cold-­cut sub I’d picked up on the way back.

When it was close to one, I picked up my phone and brought it to the couch with me. I figured Nick had worked last night and I hoped that I wasn’t about to wake him up with my text. Of course, I could call him, but that would seem odd since neither of us had ever called one another before, and I could imagine him pushing until I told him what was up over the phone.

Hey, you around?

I winced after I sent the text, because how lame wasHeywhen I was about to deliver news he could not have ever expected. A handful of moments passed before I got a response.

I thought you didn’t like me anymore.

He had to be talking about the fact I’d ignored his last text. I was about to respond but he beat me to it.

I’ve been living in this dark, dark place.

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