Page 170 of Stay with Me

I really needed to sit down.

He wasn’t done. “I didn’t tell you about this, because I didn’t know how you’d feel knowing your mom had come to see you. You two weren’t on great terms, and explaining this makes me come off as a creep, so it wasn’t something I was really looking forward to doing, but I was.”

“Totally not a creep,” whispered an awed Teresa.

His lips twitched for a moment and then he refocused on me. “Each time I saw you, I felt like ... I felt like I knew you a little bit better. I never talked to you but seeing you always smiling or laughing ... or being peaceful ...” He shook his head, and my heart spasmed. “There’s something about that ... it drew me in, Calla. Fuck. I fell for you before you even knew my name.”

Oh, holey moley. Tears rushed my eyes and his face blurred.

“And I should’ve told you about Mona’s. I was going to that day in the office, but when you’d said you’d sell it, I didn’t think you’d care. And then when I realized that even though you never said it, I knew the bar meant a lot to you.” He took a step forward, his progress tracked by everyone in the room. “I didn’t know how to break that to you. I’ve honestly been struggling with the idea of keeping it. The place gave me purpose when I got back home after drifting, but it didn’t feel right. Not with you here. Not with me really knowing you.”

I swallowed, but the lump was stuck in my throat.

His eyes searched mine. “I love you, Calla. Me owning the bar doesn’t change that. If it did, then I don’t want a fucking part of it. All I want is you.”

Staring back at him, I couldn’t get any words out of my mouth. Everything he said whirled around in my head. I was overwhelmed.

“Calla,” he whispered.

I shook my head, at a loss for what to say.

“Say something, honey. I don’t want to give up on you, but you’ve got to say something to stop me from walking out that door.”

So many things I wanted and needed to say rose in my throat, but nothing came out. It was like having performance anxiety. I was frozen where I stood and it was so quiet in the room I swore everyone could hear my heart pound.

Jax expelled a rough breath as he held my gaze and then he turned and walked away. He walked right out that door, and I stood there, staring at his retreating form, watching the door swing shut.

I didn’t say anything.

I seriously stood there.

And I watched him walk away.

Thirty-four

“Oh God,” Avery said, sitting down on the edge of the bed. She stared up at me. “He fell for you before you even knew his name?”

Teresa was also staring at me with wide, watery eyes. “Calla ...”

I still couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think of anything to say. I was a statue.

Jase turned his head to me, brows raised. “If I liked guys—you know, swung that way, I’d get naked after that.”

I blinked. Um.

“And I’d put a ring on that,” Cam added, moving to where Avery sat.

I blinked again. Uh.

Teresa snorted. “I’m in a happy, love-of-my-life relationship, so Jase, take no offense to what I’m about to say, but I’m about to do all those things. My God, girl, that was beautiful. That was real. And that hurt to hear and you just let him walk right out of here.”

I did.

I let him walk right out of here.

“Calla,” Teresa called softly.

Shaking my head, I looked at her. “What am I doing?”

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