Page 150 of Stay with Me

I didn’t want to get up.

It felt like I hadn’t slept more than a few minutes and my eyes ached; my throat and mouth felt too dry. There was an ache in my temples. And I immediately started thinking about what happened between us and with Aimee. In the light of the morning, I could freely admit that Jax had been right. I didn’t have a lot of experience with any of this. I didn’t know the difference between the different types of relationships, not personally. All I knew was what I’d seen from my friends.

There was so much he’d been right about.

I’d been rightfully upset with him Saturday, but I hadn’t given him a chance to explain and he had apologized. And he had no control over Aimee. It wasn’t like he’d invited her over.

I squeezed the pillow tight.

Now that the anger had simmered down, I could also admit that I hadn’t heard everything he’d said last night, like seriously admit that, and other than not doing enough to deter Aimee’s advances, Jax hadn’t done anything wrong.

He’d actually stood up for me last night.

He’d apologized and he’d admitted to feeling like shit.

And he’d laid it out to me.

I needed to talk to him without yelling, without overreacting, and I needed to talk to him while listening.

Letting go of the pillow, I climbed out of bed and my bare feet padded over the floors. I went out into the hall. The extra bedroom door was open and he wasn’t in there. Turning to the stairs, I headed down them and then through the silent living room and into the kitchen.

He wasn’t there, either.

My heart picked up and a sick feeling curdled in my stomach as I turned slowly. Where was he? The townhouse wasn’t big enough that I couldn’t find him, for crying out loud. My gaze settled on the front windows. I hurried toward them, pulling back the flimsy off-white curtains, and then I peeked through the blinds. The air lodged in my chest as my gaze scanned the parking lot, once and then twice. His truck wasn’t there.

It wasn’t there.

Jax was gone.

Thirty

Ididn’t know what to do or think.

Jax had left and he hadn’t said anything. There was no note or text or voice mail on my cell phone. He’d just left the house without waking me and while that didn’t seem like a big deal, he’d been really upset.

I sat down on the edge of the couch and I could hear what he said. That he couldn’t believe I thought what I did about him and that I didn’t know him.

My nails dug into my palms. He’d been really mad, had gone to bed like that or had done whatever he had done in his extra bedroom, and had said some really stupid things. I knew that some words couldn’t be unspoken, couldn’t be taken back.

Had it gotten to that point?

Was this his way of ending things?

Oh my God.

What if he’d left and wanted me gone before he came back? And here I was, sitting on the couch, still in his shirt, like a dumbass? This was totally possible. He was pissed, because I’d insinuated that he’d been hooking up with Aimee.

I jumped to my feet, hands shaking as I pushed my hair out of my face. Jax was a nice guy. For real. He wouldn’t want a scene. Hell, he’d been nice to Aimee up until she called me a name. He’d probably just wanted me gone.

God, he really had defended me and I’d been so ... dumb.

I darted upstairs, stripped off his shirt, and dropped it on his bed. I quickly changed into mine, pulled my hair into an unbrushed messy bun, and then shoved all my crap into my oversized tote.

As I pulled the zipper closed on the bulging bag, I stopped for a moment and the little voice in the back of my head cautioned me to slow the fuck down, tothink,because I might be overreacting, but the fear of being here when he returned and him not wanting me here was too much.

I started to leave, but then I wheeled around and I grabbed the shirt of his I’d worn to bed. I don’t even know why I did it, but I grabbed it and took it with me as I grabbed my purse and then left his house.

Too much was whirling in my head as I drove, at first not sure where I was going, and then I recognized where my subconscious was leading me.

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