Page 82 of Stay with Me

My brows knitted. “Why?”

“I thought maybe if I’d been home, I could’ve stopped her,” he replied. “Hell, a part of me still thinks that.”

“You can’t help people unless they want to be helped,” I told him. “Trust me. I know.”

“I know you do,” came his quiet response. “But that’s some guilt I’ll probably carry with me for a while, if not forever. She was ... she was my little sister. It was my job to keep her safe.”

“Oh Jax,” I whispered. The knot was bigger in my throat. “I’m so sorry,” I said, and I knew it sounded lame, but I didn’t know what else to say.

His thumb did another pass and then his hand moved away. “There’s nothing you need to apologize for.”

“I know.” A moment passed as I dragged in a deep breath, and then I rolled back onto my other side, facing the closet door again. My heart ached for him and his family and a sister that never had a chance to become anything. We didn’t have the same past. No way. But there was a similarity there. Mom was who she was today because she couldn’t get past the grief and heartache, and I wondered, if Jax knew about the pageants, then did he know about the fire and about Kevin and Tommy? “I’m sorry you lost your sister and what you experienced overseas. You ... you must be very brave.”

“I think it was more of not wanting to die or to see my friends die than it was being brave.”

That was a very modest thing to say. Since he shared so much with me, I felt like I needed to share something really unknown about me, but it was hard. It took a bit to get my tongue to form the words. “I’m a liar.”

There was a pause and then, “What?”

Even though it was dark, my face filled with blood. “I’m a liar. My friends back home—Teresa and her boyfriend Jase, and Avery and Cam. Cam’s Teresa’s older brother, and him and Avery are like the cutest couple in the world,” I rambled on, nervous. “Cam has a pet tortoise and he got Avery one.”

His body shook with a quiet laugh. “Their turtles are in love?”

“Yep. You can’t help but feel the love when you’re around them; not even the turtles are immune to it.” And I kept going. “Teresa and Jase are like the hottest couple in the world. Seriously. Then there’s Brandon.”

Another moment passed. “Brandon?”

Probably shouldn’t have brought him up. “He’s another friend. He has a girlfriend,” I added quickly and then moved right along. “Anyway, they’re great. They really are, and I love them, but I’ve lied to them. They know nothing about me and I’ve told them so many lies.”

“Babe ...”

“No. Seriously. I’ve told them that Mom was dead.” When there was silence, I made a face at myself in the dark. “See? That’s a horrible lie. But there was never any chance that they were going to meet her and in a way, she is kind of dead, you know? The drinking and the drugs killed my mom years ago.”

“I see,” he murmured.

I wasn’t sure if he did. “And they think I’m visiting extended family right now.”

“That’s not a lie. Clyde is like family.”

My mouth opened to correct him, but he was right. Huh. “Last semester, I told Teresa I was going home for break and you know what I did, Jax?”

“What?” was his soft reply.

“I stayed in a hotel and ate room service.” When he didn’t respond, I added, “The room service was really good, though.”

“You’re not a liar,” he said after a few moments.

“Um, what part of this convo did you miss? I’ve lied to them. On purpose.” And now that I really talked about it, I felt like a total tool for it.

“You had your reasons, Calla. You weren’t lying to be a bitch or whatever. You didn’t have a great childhood and your relationship with your mom is nonexistent at best. I’m sure your friends would understand if they knew the truth.” He paused. “And everyone has secrets, babe. Not one person is always a hundred percent honest in every single situation. And that goes for your friends.”

I closed my eyes as his words sank in and there was no denying that they helped make me feel a little better about all I’d kept from my friends. “Thank you.”

He didn’t say anything for a few and then he shifted again. His legs were most definitely touching mine. “Calla?”

My breath caught once more. “Yeah?”

After a beat of silence, he asked, “So you think I have great lips?”

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