Page 37 of Forbidden King (Magnolia Falls)

To say there was a lot of water under the bridge was an understatement.

I just hated that this man had come between us.

“Listen, I don’t think you need to say who it’s for, all right? You can absolutely take a plate home for later.”

“Hayes is being really distant,” she said, and my gaze moved to where my brother stood, pitching balls to Cutler.

“He just doesn’t understand your choices, Mom.” I looked away for a minute before my gaze locked with hers again. “Barry has caused all of us a lot of pain. And I don’t know why you can’t see it or why you stay—and Hayes, well, he’s protective. It’s who he is.”

She nodded. “I know. But he’s been really good lately. He encouraged me to come today. He wants to see you, too, you know?”

I let out a long breath. “I can’t have a relationship with a man who has hurt all of us. Continually. So that is not going to happen.”

“I get it. But people can change.”

“Sure. And he’s been given lots of chances, and they’ve never lasted long.” I held up my hand to stop her from defending him. “I love you, Mom. I will always love you. But I won’t be around him. He’s burned this bridge too many times.”

“But you’re always so willing to forgive your father and try to mend that relationship. What’s the difference?” Her eyes were hard now, and this is what I hated. This is why my brother didn’t want to be around her when she was with Barry. She was defensive and mean when they were together. Like she’d been around all his negativity, that she brought that ugliness here with her.

At the end of the day, she’d always put him first. I’d grown up in a home where neither of my parents had ever put me or Hayes first.

But my brother, he’s always been that person for me.

He’s always put me first.

“The difference is that my father never hit me. He never put his hands on me or on you or on Hayes. That’s the difference, Mom.” I shook my head and glanced around to make sure no one was listening. Everyone was off in the yard, cheering on Cutler or sitting on the dock, looking at the water. Kingston took a few people out for a boat ride earlier, and everyone was looking sun-kissed and windblown. “But you’re right, Dad has not shown up for us at all. I should just walk away, but I’d still like to know him. Know my half-siblings. So that’s why I try, I guess.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t do this today. It’s Easter, and I’m grateful that you invited me. But I’m going to head out, sweetheart. Barry is home alone, and I told him I wouldn’t be long.”

Of course, she did. I scanned her body out of habit, looking for bruises. The abuse from her husband was not the way I’d always thought abuse would be. It wasn’t consistent. He wasn’t a scary man on the outside. Barry was fine—until he wasn’t. Sometimes the rage came once a year, and other times, it was once a month. My mother claimed it hadn’t happened in years, and I could only take her at her word. He’d gone to court-appointed anger management therapy more times than I could count. He held a decent job. They had a home that appeared to be clean and safe.

Yet I’d never felt that way when I lived under that roof.

Because living in an environment where you had to constantly be on edge, wondering when the rug would be pulled out from under you, was exhausting. And I didn’t live through what she did. Barry had hit me a total of three times in my life, and all three times were due to me trying to break up physical fights between him and my mother.

I’d been a nervous kid. An anxiety-ridden, painfully shy teenager. And once I’d moved in with Hayes when he turned eighteen years old and agreed to be my legal guardian, everything had changed. And it only got better once I left for college.

After many years away from that toxic environment, I’d found my way.

My confidence.

My independence.

I didn’t live in fear or worry anymore. And I wanted that same peace for my mother.

I couldn’t begin to count the number of dandelion wishes I’d made for her.

“All right. Well, I set out a bunch of to-go containers on the counter, so help yourself to some food to take with you.”

“Don’t be upset with me,” she said, and my chest squeezed. I looked up to see Hayes watching us, his eyes hard. I smiled, letting him know everything was okay.

“I’m not. I’m glad you were able to come, Mom. All I want is for you to be happy.”

“I promise you, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been,” she said, and I realized in that moment that I didn’t know what happiness looked like for my mother. She struggled with depression. She mixed her prescription drugs with alcohol when things weren’t going well with Barry, and I didn’t have a single memory where she’d appeared to be genuinely happy. And that was something that had always haunted me. “I’ll go make my rounds and say goodbye. I’ll stop by the bookstore for the grand opening this week.”

“Thank you. I appreciate it.” I leaned forward and hugged her. “Love you, Mama.”

“Love you, too, baby girl.”

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