Page 52 of A Hidden Past

“Seriously, man.” He’s calmer now, more incredulous than angry. “What the hell is going on with you? It’s like you never grew up.”

I frown. “Like I never grew up?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot that I must be the immature one. After all, I joke about hot girls and talk like I came from the hood. I must be a little man-child who never grew out of boosting cars. Forget the fact that I have a good job and my own apartment. Forget that unlike you, I haven’t touched drugs in three years.”

“You told me that you took that job to sleep with married women and steal from the elderly.”

“I was joking, pendejo. I thought that was obvious. Why the hell when I have a good job and a place of my own would I throw all that away over someone’s diamond earrings? And don't give me shit about sleeping around, either. I talked to Vivian, remember? She didn’t say anything, but I’m not stupid. Women don’t blush like that talking about their platonic friends.”

I glare at him. “Screw you.”

"No, screw you. My family life was messed up too, bro. My dad beat on me pretty much constantly. He beat on my mom too, and my mom blamed me for it. My older brother's doing twenty-to-life for killing some dude in front of his kids, and my sister’s in and out of rehab. Life sucks for everyone, not just you.”

I want to stay angry, but I can’t. The truth of what he says hits me hard. It’s like he poured ice water on my head, and I can think clearly after being drunk all night.

“I’m sorry,” I say, and this time I mean it.

He must be able to tell that I mean it because he sighs and says in a much less angry tone, “It’s all right, bro. It’s just… dude, I care about you. I know we haven’t talked in a while. I figured after you were caught, you were leaving the life behind, and you didn’t want to talk to anyone still inside, and I supported that. Then I ran into you, and you had a job, and you looked good, like healthy. Like you weren’t using anymore. Then you told me you were going to college and stuff. Like, that’s awesome, bro. That’s really good.”

I feel a lump form in my throat. This whole time, I thought Marco was trying to pull me under again. Instead, the truth is almost the opposite. He got his shit together—really got it together. And I’m the one stuck under the past.

“I just…” he sighed. “Look, I don’t know how to be all motivational and shit, but I feel like you’re letting this thing with the Kensington girl ruin your chance at a future. Honestly, I think it’s all messing with you. Even Vivian, like… I’m not saying she’s a bad person. I think she’s pretty cool, but man, there’s nothing there for you. I get that she’s hot, but she’s… I don’t know what I’m saying. I just think you need to get out of all this crap and focus on yourself. Just clean the pools, keep your head down, keep your business to yourself, stay out of their business, get your money, and go to school. But all this shit about going to the Kensingtons’ house to threaten them?” He shakes his head. “Man, you can’t afford that. You get caught littering, you’re in the system for life. You can’t be messing with this shit.”

I know he’s right, but it’s not that easy. I get the part about Vivian. Honestly, I’m half-ready to put an end to that too. I think she probably feels the same way, especially after yesterday.

But I just can’t just look away and pretend that Lila wasn’t murdered. I can’t throw my hands in the air and say, “Oh well. I guess she’s dead now.”

“I can’t just…” I sigh. “She was murdered, Marco.”

“So what?” I stare at him in shock, and he shrugs and says, “Seriously. So what? Like five kids got killed in a nightclub last week in New York. You want to go find the people who shot them and kick their asses?”

“No, but… this is different.”

“Why? Was she your girlfriend or something?”

I shrug. “Well, she could have been.”

“Bro, you’re tripping. Look at me. You clean their pools. That’s what you do. The best you’d have gotten from her was a quick screw in her bedroom while her parents weren’t home.”

“It’s not about that!”

“It should be. She’s not your girlfriend. She’s not your sister, or your cousin, or your best friend, or your wife. There was nothing for you there.”

“But in her diary—”

“I don’t give a shit about her diary! Grow up! You think you’re the only cute boy she wrote about? Like you two were star-crossed souls and your lives were ruined by the cruel ogre of the mountains or some shit? This is what I mean when I say grow up. That shit was going on long before you showed up, and when you finally come to your senses and leave, that shit—all of it—is going to keep going on long after everyone, including Vivian, forgets who the fuck you are.”

I don’t answer. There’s nothing to say. He’s right, but I don’t care that he’s right. No, I care. I know that I’m probably getting myself into trouble that’ll hurt me for the rest of my life.

But…

“I can’t just let it go, man. That’s what happened to Annie. People just let it go. My sister died, and whoever killed her is out there living his best life.”

“You don’t know that. For all you know, he killed himself nine years ago because he couldn’t live with the guilt. But I get your point.” He sighs. “Look, go to the cops, man. I know that’s weird coming from the guy who’s supposed to be a thief, but go to them. It’s their job. Let them handle it.”

“But they’re not handling it.”

“So now you’re a cop too? You don’t know that they’re not handling it.”

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