Page 68 of The Reunion

People in her family had to work and save for everything they owned, and I realized how the idea of not pulling her weight was making her already shitty situation feel a hundred times worse. I pulled my chair from under the workbench and dragged it over to her. “You and the boys are still recovering from a whole lot of stuff right now. I’m not pushing any of you to do anything but get better. We’ll worry about everything else once that happens.”

Pulling my flannel tighter around her, she jerked up her shoulders at herself. “I hate feeling like we’re mooching off you. I wish I could do something to not be so useless.”

My elbow bumped into the arm of her chair. “You’ve been working since you were tall enough to reach the counter. Sometimes two or three jobs. Then you run yourself ragged between those jobs, getting the boys to and from sports. You are not now or have ever been useless.”

When she rolled her eyes and slid her fingers underneath them, I leaned over a little. “You’re going through something beyond your control, and I’m in a position to help you. And I’m just happy I was here to be in that position.” She finally looked at me, and I shrugged. “You don’t need to do anything, but if you want to fold my towels and make me dinner sometimes, that would be great.”

Something had bothered me since she got here, and I shifted uncomfortably and cleared my throat. “By the way, did you call their dad to let him know where they’d be? He must be worried sick.”

The edge of her mouth bent up for a second when she scoffed. “Yeah, he said okay and then hung up on me. Didn’t even ask to speak to them or if they were okay. Actually, he hasn’t tried to visit them at all since he left. So, I wouldn’t worry about him showing up or anything.”

Her ex wasn’t any kind of man at all, and him starting anything with me would be a major mistake on his part that made me laugh back at her. “Yeah. I’m not stressing about that possibility.” My hand flipped off my knee. “You got some good boys, Carolyn. So, if he doesn’t want to be around, don’t keep trying to force him to. They don’t need that kind of sometimes parent undoing all the hard work you’re putting into them.”

Shaking her head at her hands, she rubbed them together for a little while until they broke apart. “I just don’t understand it. I’m so lost whenever I’m away from them for a single second, and he’s out living his best life with his new family like they don’t exist.” Her eyes shut, and she slowly shook her head. “Don’t you wish sometimes you could go back and fix things? Like tell your younger self how stupid your life turned out and warn them to make better choices?”

I watched Dom make himself crazy with regret over shit he couldn’t change, and I swore I’d never live my life that way. My lips turned out when I shrugged back at her. “Can’t look backward. Just decide today you’ll live a different kind of life moving forward.”

She relaxed into the seatback, laying her head on my shoulder as I moved my arm around the back of her chair. “I guess so.”

I was so close to having everything I wanted. She was right there in my house. So, I decided just to be still and let things unfold on her time, hoping she’d come to me when she was ready.

62

Take My Chances

Carolyn

Since they had a bigger house to move around in, the boys seemed to make three times the mess they used to.

Picking up random socks and towels and Jason’s ripped-up work shirts, I moved through the house until I heard them laughing from the basement.

It had been about a month since we moved in with him, and we all grew a little more dependent on him every day — not only for providing for us, which he did without flinching. But until I had him to back me up in this parenting thing, I didn’t realize how hands-off a father my ex was.

Unlike their dad, who always tended to be a parent from a distance, Jason was more or less one of them. Taking them fishing, four-wheeling, and having weekend-long video game battles with the boys, he was more of a father to them in the few weeks they’d had him in their lives than the man who created them. But with each passing day, that doubt in me grew bigger, like the whole thing would just end at any moment, and we’d be out on our ears.

And then there was this thing between me and Jason that I wasn’t quite sure was what I thought it might be.

I came off the stairs with a basket of laundry and found them all sprawled out on the massive U-shaped couch, eating beef jerky and potato chips and drinking root beer. “Alright, time for bed. It’s way past your bedtime, and Jason has to wake up early.”

I began sorting through the clothes as they groaned their way up the stairs, and Jason leaned against the counter beside me. “Let me give you a hand with that.”

Knowing he’d be cursing and waking everyone up as he tore the house apart looking for his favorite green t-shirt first thing in the morning, I put it in the washtub so it would be ready for him. “No, you will not. Keeping house for you is the least I can do for everything you put up with.”

Jason went quiet for a moment, coming back at me in a softer tone this time. “It’s not a hardship, Carolyn. I like having you guys here. It’s like I finally got those little brothers I always wanted.”

The best words I ever heard from any man hung in the air between us still as I turned to face him.

My boys were happy here, and they adored Jason. But I needed to know where we stood, for their sake as much as mine. “The boys love you so much, Jason.” My voice trembled slightly because if I was wrong about the two of us, my whole life would only be flipped upside down again, and so would theirs. “So if this thing between us isn’t going anywhere, please tell me now so I don’t get their hopes up about us being together.”

A smile came up on his face, and he nodded as he moved a step closer. “It is going somewhere, Carolyn.” Jason paused as a flush of red crept up on the tips of his ears. “I’ve liked you since the sixth grade, and I’d be a damn fool to let you go now that I have you all to myself.”

I blew up into my eyes to dry them, kicking myself for overlooking him for so long. “I’ve been so stupid for a long time, and I’m sorry if I made you feel bad because I didn’t notice that you had feelings for me.” Jason was the first man who made me any kind of priority in his life, and for once, I was going to make him one in mine. “But my heart is all yours if you still want it. I’m just crazy about you.”

His finger caught two of mine and tugged on them. “I absolutely want that.”

I shook my head and bunched his shirt in my fingers. “I don’t want you to think I’m just trying to have a place to live.” Rolling my eyes at myself, I shrugged. “I mean, yeah, I need a place to live, but...”

He put his arms around me, drawing me closer to him. “I figured the whole making you live with me thing worked out so well for Dom, I’d just take my chances and see how it went.” When I smiled back at him, he dipped his knees a little. “Would it be alright if I kissed you now? I’ve been waiting a really, really long time.”

I nodded at him, and he slid his hands back through my hair, avoiding all those still-healing bruises on my face. I raised up onto my tiptoes to put my arms around his neck, and whatever lingering doubts I had disappeared the moment his lips touched mine.

He was a rough, tough, manly man who worked with those big, calloused hands of his. But his lips were gentle, though, just sipping on mine a little at a time until I pulled him into me for more.

Only a month ago, I wondered what kind of magic Faith had to wrap a man around her finger the way she did and if I could borrow a little for myself. I suppose some of it rubbed off on me somehow, though, because I had finally found my dream man, too.

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