Page 149 of When Hearts Collide

I know apologies are insufficient as I make amends with everyone I’ve disappointed. But I’m no longer a coward, no longer only mired in my misery so much I’m blind to other people’s pain.

I’m going to face the consequences—the good, the bad, and everything in between.

A sigh escapes my lips and I swipe to the social media post I uploaded to my account last night. It’s a photo of the western meadowlark perched on a branch.

I can’t name her or broadcast my love for her so blatantly, because it’ll unravel everything she, my family, and the dean have done to save my career. But I hope she sees my daily posts and knows they are for her.

I’m no longer hiding, and she won’t be in my shadows anymore…if she’ll still have me.

Ryland.Anderson.Official: Dear Little Lark, I miss you and I’m sorry. I wasn’t the man you deserved to have by your side. But I’ll do better. And if you have it in your heart to speak to me again, I’ll be here waiting for you.

Thump. Thump.

Clutching the small pot of flowers in one hand, I knock on Millie’s door with the other and steel myself for another rejection, but I’m not giving up. Not anymore.

Muffled sounds of the IPO press conference on the television travel through the door. Someone is home.

Thump. Thump.

I knock again in case whoever is in there doesn’t hear me the first time.

The television turns off and a heavy silence blankets the air.

She’s there. I can feel her. I’m as sure of it as I am of my name.

“Millie?” Leaning my forehead on the cool door, I close my eyes. Sorrow lances through my insides, and my chest twists in pain. “Little lark, you’re there. I know it. I can feel you.”

More silence greets me and the vise around my heart tightens. I place my palm on the door, wishing I could turn back time, undo the damage I’ve done, and take back the heartache I’ve caused her.

“Please don’t tell me I’m too late,” I rasp. “Please, Millie. I was an idiot. A miserable, pathetic idiot. I know I don’t deserve a second chance from you, but I’m asking for one, anyway. Please don’t turn me away.”

A few seconds pass by—a heavy, aching silence. Then, a soft sob travels through the door and I hear the clicking of the lock disengaging. The door slowly swings open and Millie stands before me, her eyes bloodshot, her nose tipped red, her hair haphazardly piled in a bun on top of her head.

She is still the most breathtaking woman I’ve ever beheld.

Gripping the flowers tightly in my hands, I stand before her and fight every impulse, every clamoring and desperate need inside me to haul her into my arms, to kiss her a thousand times, and to apologize for every tear I’ve caused her to shed.

Then, I want to repeat the process again.

“Ryland.” My name comes out in a breathy whisper. “Aren’t you supposed to be at the IPO press conference?” Her lips wobble and I feel her agony like a gut punch.

“Nothing is more important than you, Millie. What can I do to win you back?” My nose burns and my voice thickens. “P-Please. I’ll do anything.”

Her shoulders slump, and she shakes her head sadly. “I don’t know. I-I’m scared, Ryland. My heart hurts so much because you left me when things got rough. You didn’t talk to me; you didn’t give us a chance to decide together. You took that decision away from me.”

A sharp flash of pain strikes me in the chest at her words—too much regret and far too late to matter.

“I love you, Millie.”

She flinches and wraps her arms around herself. Taking a deep breath, she looks up and stares at me with those beautiful, startling blue eyes. “I love you too, Ryland. I don’t know if I’m even capable of falling out of love with you.”

My heart stirs and my fingers dig harder into the ceramic pot as my body fills with desperation and trepidation.

“But how do I know if this isn’t another impulse for you? Like how it was when we first got together at Noire, when I all but f-forced,” her voice chokes up, “you into that position. I made an offer you couldn’t refuse. What if things get rough again? How will I know you won’t run away once more?”

“Millie, that’s different, that’s—”

She shakes her head vehemently. “Perhaps for you, it’s different right now. After all, the obstacles you were so afraid of before were cleared…just as I predicted all along. But life is full of hurdles. Tomorrow, it may be something else. And my heart,” she jams her index finger to her chest, “can’t take any more of this pain. I’ve already lost too much, and I don’t want to love another person just to lose him again later on.”

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