Page 77 of When Hearts Ignite

“Adrian told me the other night during our weekly check-in call that Steven seems to be in a funk over you. I know you told us not to update you on him after you left the job, but he hasn’t been eating, sleeping, or anything. I think he even missed some TransAmerica shareholder meetings, and that is unheard of. At least that’s what Adrian said he heard from Rex Anderson, who I think heard from Ryland.”

Belle rolls her eyes heavenward. “These men gossip more than we do, I swear—”

“What? Steven hasn’t been taking care of himself?” My heart stutters to a stop at the image of Steven suffering.

His haunted eyes, gauntness in his handsome face, the skewed tie and otherwise unkempt appearance in his standards. The way he grabbed onto me last night that seemed much more desperate than sex and lust. It was almost like he was gripping a life raft and fighting to stay afloat.

My eyes burn and my lips tremble. I bite my cheek, hoping the sharp pinch of pain will keep me from crying.

Taylor and the girls exchange another glance, if that’s even at all possible during a video call, and Millie straightens up. “Grace, we know you’re hiding something, and we want you to know we love you and we’d never judge you for anything you’re doing for whatever reason. We fully support you.” Her eyes sharpen with knowledge, and I let out a shuddering exhale.

“W-What do you mean?” My pulse roars in my ears as dread snakes its way in.

Millie winces and blows out a deep breath before blurting, “We know you’re dancing at a burlesque and strip club.”

My face heats. “You girls know?”

She nods. “Adrian told me Steven made a scene at the casino night at The Orchid and also bought out Trésor for a night for you. And you told us you were dancing, so it wasn’t too hard to put two and two together.”

Millie leans closer to her screen. “Grace, we don’t know what’s going on with the two of you, but we know this goes way beyond a friendship. If you guys are both so miserable and pining for each other, why don’t you give him a chance? From everything I know about Steven, none of this behavior from him is normal. It’s decidedly abnormal.”

My eyes flutter shut as I think about him, the only man my heart has clamored for, the only person ever to make it skip multiple beats, riot against my rib cage like it wants to break free and join its partner nestled in his chest. The only man who’s made me feel safe, whose words felt sincere. The only man, despite all our talks of friendship and ridiculousness, is the person closest to making me feel romantic love and longing, such that every day without him feels like an agonizing chore, and everywhere I go, I see and experience fragments of life I want to share with him.

I blink my eyes and sniffle, moisture coating my vision, and my lips tremble.

I miss him. I miss him a lot.

Somewhere along the way, he’d stolen my heart and never gave it back. The bird and the fish, pining for each other in a story that’d never end well. And yet, the yearning won’t abate, and I feel irrevocably changed, like I’m incomplete without him.

“Oh, sweetie,” Millie whispers, her own eyes turning red. She’s the hopeless romantic among the four of us.

I pour my heart out, telling them what happened with the loan shark, with the job offer, and Belle’s face turns ashen when she hears her role in introducing Sofia Kent to me and what I do here at Trésor.

“I-I didn’t know, Grace. I should’ve found out what work she was looking for before recommending you. There’s nothing wrong with working at the burlesque club, and I’d wholeheartedly support you if it’s something I know you’d be interested in, but knowing you, it was probably the last thing you wanted to do. God, why are you so stubborn, woman? You could’ve just taken my money and saved yourself a lot of misery.” Belle’s face is flushed now as stares at me.

“I just don’t want to depend on anyone. I don’t want money to affect our friendship!”

“You dummy! It’s okay to lean on someone else when you need help. That doesn’t mean you are weak. In fact, I’d say it takes strength to ask and receive help. That’s what friends are for. At least the ones that are worth keeping. You’d do the same for me!” Belle shakes her fists at the camera, her voice impassioned.

I bite my bottom lip to stem the fresh onslaught of tears threatening to break free from my eyes.

“You don’t judge me for it? Dancing in scanty clothing in front of rich men?” I whisper, my voice thick and shaky.

The girls shake their heads vehemently.

“I just wish you told me. When the girls told me earlier, I couldn’t believe it. But then, of course…how did you get such a large sum of money in such a short time to solve all our problems without the job offer?” Taylor sniffles on screen, her dark eyeliner running at the edges.

Her brows furrow and her slate eyes are clouded with guilt. “I should’ve asked more questions. I know you did everything for me, for our family, and you never complained or said a word about it. And if anyone should dance, it should be me. Heck, I’m the dancer in our family. I wouldn’t have let you—”

“And that’s why I didn’t say anything. And it’s fine.”

“But on a brighter note, the fashion mogul in me has been wanting to compliment you on your attire and makeup the last few months, because it’s time you’re embracing God’s gift instead of hiding away in frumpy clothes, but that’s beside the point.” Belle gives me a teary wink, her nose red, and I snort, the weight in my chest lightening.

She continues, “And being a dancer is badass. I could only imagine how you’re getting all the men to drool over you. They can look but not touch. It’s the ultimate power move.”

My lips tilt into a smile as I think about what Camille said last night.

Taylor murmurs, “You know. Beauty is not a fucking weakness or a sin. I know you’ve hidden yourself because of Mom and the men in her life. She wouldn’t have wanted that for you.”

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