Page 133 of When Hearts Ignite

He tugs the lapels of his casual gray suit and blows out an exhale. His voice is rough but cultured. “Thank you for reaching out to me. I never knew where she went after she left here and I didn’t know she was pregnant with your sister then. I could’ve had her tracked and found, but it didn’t seem right when I was the one who forced her away.”

“Why did you?” The million-dollar question which has haunted me throughout my childhood, never too far away from my thoughts.

Pain laced his voice and his eyes stare into the distance as if reminiscing about bygone days. “You see, Grace, as you’re one of us now, I can share this with you.”

He stares at me and swallows, his face serious. “You see, our family is inflicted with a curse.”

“A curse?” I sit up, my brows hiked to my forehead, disbelief drenching my voice.

He chuckles mirthlessly. “It sounds ridiculous, but it’s true. The firstborn male in our family cannot marry for love because once they do, they doom their wives to a painful death.”

I gape at him, my hand clutching my teacup. What on earth? My mind drifts to the times when we barely had enough money to pay the rent, when our cupboards were empty and we’d pretend not to be hungry. Then there was the heartbreak in her eyes whenever we mentioned our father and the way she’d lovingly caress the beautiful purse he got her. Outrage, which has been tethered so deep down inside me, threatens to unleash.

They broke up because of a curse? This makes no sense.

My incredulity and anger must be showing because he continues, “Grace, I know you don’t believe me and you have the right to be upset. Someday, you’ll know the entire story and you’ll understand. But it’s very true. It’s why there’s a distinct lack of females in the Anderson family, except for dear Lana, that is.”

“What does this have anything to do with Mom and us?”

Father lets out a wistful sigh, so full of regret. “Your mother and I met when she was performing on Broadway. Our family, naturally, had a private box there, and I had a fondness for the theater. She’d outshine the main starlets on stage, much to everyone’s chagrin.”

His lips twitch up in a smile before continuing, “And I’m sure you know how beautiful she was, inside and out. My first wife died at that point and before then, I was like you, thinking this curse business was ridiculous, but when your one true love keels over in front of you, perspectives change.”

He shifts in his seat before taking a sip of his tea. “I didn’t want to fall in love again. It was too dangerous. It also felt impossible for lightning to strike twice. But then, your mom came barreling in and it was impossible not to love her. She was one of a kind. I thought if I didn’t marry her, perhaps we could carry on, out of sight of my other children and relatives, living in our own little world of happiness. Perhaps that’d be enough. At that point, we had you. She was adamant unless I make an honest woman out of her, she wouldn’t put my name on your birth certificate. Even so, you were our brightest star in the sky, and for a short while, we were happy. I thought I beat fate.”

Father pauses and takes a deep breath. “But alas, she wanted more. She didn’t want to be a kept woman in the dark. She wanted her happily-ever-after with her prince and to live with him in his castle, sitting next to him at the dining table, waking up next to him in bed, as she rightfully should want. And after what happened to my late wife, I couldn’t risk that happening to her, and after so many arguments and fights, she had enough and gave me an ultimatum.”

“You had to marry her or let her go,” I whisper, because I know that’s what I would do. That’s what my mom would ask for. And she deserved to be more than someone’s hidden mistress.

He nods. “It pained me, nearly broke me, but I had to make a choice.”

He leans forward, his voice ardent, his eyes beseeching me to understand. “I had to do this to save her. I had to let her go. Before she left, I offered her some funds to help raise you, but she didn’t want it. She said she didn’t want my guilt to be assuaged by giving her money. I came back from a business trip one day and found both of you gone and a note from her asking me to leave you two be. But I never, ever forgot about you or her. And there was no other woman for me afterward.”

My eyes burn. Now that I have Steven by my side, knowing how intoxicating and wonderful love is with the right man, how it devastated me and him when we almost lost each other, how I couldn’t fathom a world without him, my heart aches for Mom.

Suddenly, her love sickness made sense, and why she always believed in true love. How could you not if you’ve actually experienced its soul wakening warmth? And Mom was always a positive person, even during the challenges we went through, whether it be men or finances, and for the first time, I truly understand why she wanted that hole in her heart filled. And she thought she did to some degree with Uncle Bobby, only for that to end in tragedy as well.

How I wish she were still here and I could tell her I finally understand her and the man she gave her heart to still very much loves her to this day.

“But I’ve always thought about you and wondered how you’re faring. And now, I learn I have another daughter, someone else I also failed over the years.” His tone is morose and regretful and he swallows as if the next words out of his mouth are too difficult for him. He reaches over and takes my hand in his cold, trembling ones.

“Grace, would you object to us getting to know each other better? And your sister as well?” He lets out a ragged sigh, a muscle twitching in his bristled cheeks. “I’d very much love that if you both are open to it. You’re…family.”

There were so many nights in my childhood when I was angry at him. When I laid in bed when the winds beat outside, haunted by the night in the rain with Uncle Bobby, and I wanted to throw things at my father, whoever he was, wherever he was. How could he leave us? Leave mom? Why couldn’t I be the happy kid at school sitting atop my father’s shoulders as he stopped by an ice cream parlor for a treat of my favorite vanilla ice cream before we head home? Why was it every Father’s Day, when the teachers taught us to write letters or to draw cards or we’d make little crafts of paper ties for our fathers, I’d be sobbing in the back, knowing whatever I made wouldn’t go to anyone?

But now, looking at the heartbroken man in front of me, who from outward appearances is dressed in the finest clothing, living in the most beautiful home, I can see the void inside him, the loneliness and sadness in his eyes.

The pain of the past haunting him still.

And I can’t find it in myself to hate him anymore. Instead, I pity him. While Mom, Taylor, and I didn’t have much in the past, our lives were filled with happiness, and our hearts were full. I’m not sure if I believe in this curse, but it’s obviously very real to him. It clearly took a piece of him when Mom left with me in tow. A precious piece of him.

He’s family. Other than Taylor, he, and by extension, the rest of the Andersons, are my only family of flesh and blood left in this world.

Do I want the regrets of the past to follow us into the future?

After everything I’ve experienced this past year—the internship, meeting and falling in love with Steven, losing Mom, almost losing the love of my life—I’m tired. Weary. My heart only wants to hold love and warmth, not bitterness and hate.

And so, I take a deep breath and murmur, “I’d love that, sir. I’m sure Taylor would feel the same way.”

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