Page 131 of When Hearts Ignite

“But I thought something was missing, and it didn’t occur to me what it was until I met your mother, Grace, one time when I was in New York.” He doles out a shaky smile at her. “Your mother was warm, a ray of sunlight. She always did the unexpected, singing while waiting for the subway, dancing in the middle of Central Park. She was fun, charming, everything I wasn’t and had never experienced. I fell hopelessly in love with her—there wasn’t even a contest at that point.”

Mother lets out a ragged gasp as she stares at the drink in her hands, her eyes dipped low and away from our view. For the first time, my heart aches for her, at her heartbreak at hearing how the man she clearly loves has given that love to someone else. I’d die if this were to happen to Grace and me.

“Lisbeth was already pregnant when I met her, and you, Grace, were very little, a mere baby. Whenever I visited, Lisbeth would welcome me into her arms, into your lives, and even though we were eating from street vendors or riding on public transportation, I felt so much love and warmth. It was addictive. Intoxicating. Almost enough for me to want to abandon my morals and responsibilities and stay behind.”

Grace shakes beside me and I sneak a glance at her, finding her eyes welling with tears. “Uncle Bobby,” she whispers under her breath.

Father smiles, but the expression is laced with anguish. “Being your Uncle Bobby was my privilege, Grace. Then, your sister was born, and you two were so adorable, so sweet. It was hard to let you go. But I knew I had to, because I’m already a father to three beautiful children at home.”

He swallows and heaves out an exhale. “The guilt was eating away at me. Spending months away from LA, away from my actual family, but I couldn’t leave you three and the longer I stayed, the harder it was to leave. Eventually, I realized I couldn’t keep this up, keep two families and two lives on opposite coasts. It wasn’t right. Not for you, Taylor, and Lisbeth, and definitely not for my wife and my three children. And so, I broke it off.”

Grace leans forward, a tear dripping down her cheek. “But Mom still took me to LA…”

Father nods as his own eyes mist. “She said she wanted to give it one last shot. To find me and see if she could convince me to leave with her. And I was a horrible man because at that moment, seeing her and you in tears, dripping wet from the rain, I wanted to. I wish I could turn back time and not make the mistake in the first place because I ended up hurting everyone around me. It wasn’t fair to any of you.”

He rakes in a ragged breath. “I’m so, so sorry, Steven. I know you think I don’t love the three of you, but I do. Very much so. I just went about it the wrong way. I thought I was toughening you up because you are Kingsleys. You are born with silver spoons in your mouths. Your social circles are filled with sharks and other predators. We need to be strong to survive this cutthroat world where everyone wants a piece of us. I thought I was teaching you that by being strict and not to overindulge.”

Father shakes his head, his eyes teeming with regret. “But I see now I was wrong. All of you, pieces of my heart, only wanted one thing from me—my love and affection. I just didn’t realize. I didn’t know…”

His voice trails off as he stares into space, his mind clearly thinking about the past and everything that occurred. Mother sits stiffly next to him, her own eyes moistened as she tries to discreetly blot away her tears.

Father slowly reaches over and clasps her hand in his—a rare display of public affection. “I’m sorry, Audrey. I’m sorry you thought I fathered two other kids for the past twenty-three years. It must have devastated you on top of the betrayal from the affair. I set everything in motion with my poor choices. Perhaps I pushed you too far, made you believe I wanted a perfect wife, perfect kids, in order to keep me here. That should never be the case. I should’ve done the right thing and not put you in this position. I take the blame. Regardless, thank you for sticking by me all these years.”

Mother breaks down and sobs into her hands. My vision blurs as I glance at my sisters, finding Jess burying her head against James’s chest as James whispers in her ear and Emily blinking her own tears away as Adrian kisses her hand in reassurance.

Grace links her fingers with mine and squeezes, her warmth traveling through the contact to my aching heart, which had a wound that never healed and finally, after almost nineteen years, I’m getting the answers I need, the medicine to dress the old wound, to stop it from festering for good.

“Steven,” Father begins, his hand swiping his face, his voice thick, “I’m proud of the man you’ve become. You’re smart, successful, but most importantly, you have a good heart. You may think you don’t have one, but I’ve seen it over the years. How you’d lay your life down to protect your sisters even though the three of you squabbled growing up.”

My lips twitch into a smile as I remember the way I pranked Emily, the way we played hide and seek, the way Jess and I would play Monopoly when we were kids, only to have Emily later ganging up on me. We’d keep each other in the loop of our lives, even when we were living far apart. Then there was the time when I wanted to smash Adrian’s face when he broke Emily’s heart.

“You’re a good man, a wonderful son. I couldn’t have asked for more. And I’m so proud of you for finding a good woman, a life partner worthy of you. And I should’ve said this more often. I love you, and I love your sisters.”

I draw in a ragged inhale, my lungs suddenly flooding with air. A swift heat flushes through my insides, singeing everything in its path as my nose burns and my eyes prickle. I rub a hand over my mouth and jaw and swallow the growing lump in my throat. My nostrils flare and I look away, overcome with emotions.

I’m worthy. I’ve always been worthy. I’m loved.

I choke out a half-sob and stand up, turning my back toward everyone and I feel Grace’s delicate arms wrapping around my waist, giving me the most tender, warmhearted hug.

Father speaks again, and I can feel Grace turning back, her hands still tight around me. “Little Grace, how you’ve flourished over the years. You were a sweetheart back then and a brilliant, wonderful young lady now. Lisbeth would be so proud of you.” His voice shakes.

When I told my sisters what transpired, I also told them Grace’s mother passed away not long ago. Clearly, by the thick timbre in his words, he still carries residual feelings for her. I rake in deep breaths—slow inhales followed by slower exhales and feel my pulse settle. I take a seat back in my chair and Grace follows suit.

“I hope she’s finally at peace up there, looking down on you both. When I met her, her heart was broken into pieces already and I hoped I was able to put some of it together and give her some happy memories,” he concludes and takes a sip of his drink, his shoulders slumped like all the tension has been leached out of him.

“Her heart was broken?” Grace questions, before glancing my way.

Father nods. “As much as we had a lot of good memories together, your mother’s one true love wasn’t me. It was your father. But that’s not my story to tell.”

Mother’s eyes are red as she stares at us. “I’m sorry, children. The sins of our generation shouldn’t fall on you, but they did. I never loved you the way I should’ve and while your father wants to take the blame, I know the bulk of it rests on me. Bitterness, resentment, and unhappiness have no place in your lives. But I failed you all as a mother and I only hope, with the years I have left, you’ll find it in your hearts to forgive me and hopefully we can have a better relationship going forward.”

My eyes sweep to Jess and Emily, finding their faces flushed, and I’m sure I’m faring no better. We stare at each other and our hearts finally begin to heal and I give them a nod.

“Let’s leave the past in the past, Mother,” I murmur, still holding their gazes.

Mother continues, “And I owe you and Grace an apology. I was unforgivably rude that night at the restaurant and it was inexcusable. For all of these years, I always assumed Grace and her sister were your father’s daughters because of how much he doted on them. I should’ve verified. I’m so sorry.”

Grace gets up, her fingers trailing over my shoulders as she strides to my parents, both sitting rigidly in their chairs. She walks behind them and clasps both of them in a light hug.

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