Page 117 of When Hearts Ignite

He sounded like he was in pain. Like his knees were cut out from under him. I have never heard him this way before. The desolation. The hopelessness. The slurring, like alcohol was his newfound best friend.

It was not the King of Wall Street riding the chariot of victory on the phone. It was not the calm, collected, always in control man who hid behind his stoic veneer.

It was someone in crippling pain.

My pulse is chaotic in my ears, my heart slamming against my rib cage, desperate to escape. I feel queasy, like I’ll relieve my stomach of the ice cream I was consuming on the couch moments ago.

The sixth sense is first mentioned by William Whitson in the eighteenth century in relation to one of the apostles in Christianity.

The factoid flitters in my mind—my body’s defense mechanism because I know, deep in my gut, a sixth sense if you will, something is terribly, horribly wrong, and even without knowing what it is, my entire being is fighting it, is dreading it.

And for the first time, I don’t want to see him. Steven. I miss him like I’d miss an amputated limb, but at this moment, I know he’s the bearer of bad news. Somehow, my body and mind know the moment I see him, my world will change and nothing will ever be the same.

My eyes burn as I mourn an unknown loss which I’d bet my life would be devastating, cutting, obliterating to my soul.

I pant out heavy breaths as I walk back and forth in front of the lavender sectional of their art déco-inspired living room, where the girls are watching me, their mouths agape.

“What did he say, Grace? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Millie asks, her brows pinched.

Taylor snarls. “Did the bastard give an explanation? How could he make you worry like this!” My sister, the fierce honey badger, already leaping into battle mode for me.

“Tell us, we’re here for you,” Belle muses, her eyes piercing and sharp.

I shake my head repeatedly, my feet digging holes into the carpet as I pace in front of them. My body can’t stop moving or else I’ll go insane. “I don’t know. He sounded bad. Devastated. He’s coming over now.”

I look up and moisture wells in my lips. I tremble. “I-I’m scared, girls. I don’t want to know what’s going on.”

Millie’s lips wobble as she takes in my expression and she hauls to her feet and wraps her arms around me. The other girls follow suit. I try to breathe but cold sweat is gathering on my body.

“We’ll be here. Whatever happens, we’ll be here,” Millie whispers.

“Sisters forever,” Taylor muffles into my hair.

“Maybe it isn’t as bad as you think it is. Our imaginations can be wild.” Belle is the voice of reason, but even she sounds unsure at the current moment. “The man is crazy in love with you. There has to be a logical reason for everything.”

I swallow, my heart lodging in my throat. “And that’s what I’m afraid of.” For a calm, rational man to act completely out of the ordinary, it has to be something horrible.

“All I know is, Steven is a good man. He’s not like one of the assholes in your life before.” Millie nods, her eyes fierce. “He has to have a reason for his behavior.”

Deep down, I believe her. The man I know would never knowingly hurt anyone without reason. He’s tough. He’s an asshole at times. But he has a conscience in that big heart of his, the one he claimed for the longest time not to have, only for me to unearth it beneath a pile of rubble that is his childhood trauma.

The clock ticks ominously in the background as we huddle on the sofa, as if waiting for our turn in front of the firing squad on death row. My eyes close and I sit in tensed silence, trying to calm myself and clear my thoughts.

Maybe it isn’t as bad as you think it is.

Minutes later, a terse knock slices through the quiet and I nearly jump at the intrusion.

My legs tremble as I walk to the front door, the girls loitering behind in the living room as they whisper amongst themselves.

Looking back at them, I see Millie doling out a sweet smile, Taylor with a scowl on her face, ready to take on Steven if he breathes in the wrong direction, Belle giving me a calm, reassuring nod.

Millie makes a motion toward her bedroom with her hand and ushers the girls in the direction, no doubt to give us some privacy. I hear her door click shut.

Taking a death breath, I open the front door, and my heart drops to the floor. I feel as if someone punched me in the chest.

My beautiful man, rendered into this ghost of a living being.

Steven sways as he stands before me, supported by Ryland, whose tall frame shakes imperceptibly as he hoists Steven up to the best of his abilities.