I hadn't expected the question to be answered in such a way that it would affect me. "I think you've made her life too. She looks for you, ya know?"
"Does she?" He sits forward.
"Yeah, when I mention you her eyes dart back and forth. She gets this little look on her face where she scrunches her eyebrows together. Rachel misses you."
"I miss her too. I'm glad the next days, at least I'll be able to be home on time."
I play with the edge of the shirt I'm wearing. "I look forward to it, too."
"So...it's time for my question?" His voice is low and full of interest.
My heart flutters in my chest, and my stomach shakes with the nerves of what he might ask. "It is. I'm worried about what you're going to ask."
He reaches into his pocket, pulling out a small cartridge. "Bet you know I didn't vape, huh?"
My eyes widen, as does my mouth. "I had no idea. What else do I not know?"
"Oh, a lot, but this is something I keep a secret from everyone." He takes a hit off of it. "You're the only one who knows this about me."
For some reason this makes me feel more special than anything else any of my previous boyfriends have ever done. It also makes him seem like so much more of a bad boy than I imagined. "Hit me with your best shot, Deputy. What is it you wanna know?"
He seems to think on it longer than makes me comfortable, but when he speaks, I'm surprised with what he asks. "What's in this for you? Why did you decide to marry someone you met once? I know we kind of had that discussion at our dinner, but now that you've been here for a few weeks. Has any of that changed?"
The question is deep, and thoughtful. More thoughtful than I imagined this man to be. "A few things I hadn't realized would be extremely important to me have become so." I cross my legs up under me, and rest my chin on my knee. "There's a security and safety with you that I've never felt before. As a kid, I didn't have that with my mom, no dad in the picture, and I think I may have been searching for that with early relationships, but never found it. I have that here. I'm not worried that the electricity will be cut off, or there's no food in the fridge."
He takes a drink from his bottle and gives me a tilted grin. "And I promise you're never going to have to. With me, you're going to be safe, and you're going to be taken care of. That I fuckin' promise you."
CHAPTER SEVEN
Shane
"Ishould be home on time tonight." I tell my wife the next morning. She's standing at the stove with Rachel on her hip, and they're cooking breakfast for all of us, including me.
"I'm looking forward to it. We're going to the library for story time this afternoon. While she's in with the other kids, I'm going to try and get a few things done." She grabs the bacon out of the microwave, tests the heat, and puts it on my plate. "We should definitely be back by the time you're home, though."
"Do you want me to bring home dinner tonight? Wings sound good to you?"
She does a double-take, a surprised look on her face. "Yeah? I'd love that, I've never cooked so much in my life."
I can't believe I haven't even thought of this. "Have you cooked since you moved in? I don't know why it never occurred to me, but it didn't. I never meant for you to cook every single meal. Jesus Christ, Court. I'm sorry."
"No need to apologize." She moves her head so that her hair is covering her face. "I honestly couldn't really afford to buy food out, and I didn't want to ask you for money. I did get paid from my day job though, and I can afford to do it now. I delivered a couple of freelance jobs yesterday, so that should be good too." Her voice is super bright, which, in my experience means she's over compensating to keep from breaking down.
I get up and walk over to her. Reaching out, I put my hand on her shoulder. "I didn't even think about adding you to my bank account and giving you a card. I'm so fucking sorry. This is probably the reason why I never thought I should get married; I don't see the big picture when it comes to shit like this. Give me a criminal that I'm trying to read and I can tell you everything he's lying about, but I can't think ahead that you're going to need money."
She reaches up, her hand covering mine. Such a simple gesture, but I feel it like a zap all the way through my body. Parts that have been dormant for years have awakened and things come back online that I've had to shut down since I had Rachel to take care of. The way her eyes light up, I think she feels it too.
"It's okay. We're both learning new things, and we're both having to try and figure out what each other needs. We'll get it together. We're gonna be learning about each other for years, the rest of our lives if we're lucky."
In the past, that thought would've scared me. Now, it gives me a slight sense of peace, that I won't be searching my entire life for something I'm never going to find. "I like the sound of that."
"You sure?" she raises her eyebrows.
"Yeah, I think so. It's still scary, don't get me wrong. My outlook isn't going to change over night, but I'm starting to see why others would enjoy it."
She snorts loudly, in a way that's more cute than anything else. "Sorry." A blush works its way along her cheeks.
"No, please always be yourself with me."