Page 98 of Dare to be Different

I can’t even get my legs to work yet.

“Was it too good that you’re still afraid I’ll break your heart, Rem?”

Actually, it was a little bit horrible. It was a mess of hesitation and misplaced instincts, super uncoordinated, and too slippery. But despite all that, it was perfect.

“Yes, you dick.” I push off of him, but Zahn presses his lips to mine for a chaste kiss before helping me fall to my back next to him. “Please let me do that forever. Even that initial awkwardness was so much better than going to some random’s house to hookup. Don’t break my heart, Zahn.”

He links his fingers with mine. “I’m hooked on you too, bud. Goddamn you can fuck an ass.”

“You can take a dick. I feel like that was a trial run and we’ll only get better.” I roll over to look at him, slinging an arm over his cum-covered stomach. “Who knew you’d be such a power bottom?”

“I mean, I could have probably predicted that about myself,” he admits, laughing. “I’m glad you won the fight, Rem. That was… fuck.”

Yeah, it was. My body is happy, my sexual appetite is happy but ravenous for more, and my heart… yeah, my heart is feeling things my lips shouldn’t admit yet.

Chapter 40

Standing in Remy’s bathroom after an impromptu morning fuck that I definitely initiated and don’t at all regret even though my ass is sore, I look around the vanity and wonder when the hell I brought all this shit here.

My clothes are in his hamper and pushed under the rug by the sink. I have three toothbrushes in the cup. That’s my electric razor plugged into the wall. My dentist makes me use high fluoride toothpaste, and there it is, flipped upside down by the sink because it’s almost empty. Does Remy use that toothpaste or did he buy it for me? Did I bring it here?

I’m in this bathroom. Physically, yeah, but historically, too. There’s evidence of my time here, how comfortable I’ve gotten in Remy’s house, and proof of my slow takeover of his space.

When I step into the shower and close my eyes to let the water ease my tension, I realize that the body wash is mine and there’s another tube of fluoride toothpaste in here, along with my fourth toothbrush. Jesus. Is Remy aware of how wholly I’ve invaded his home? Does he care?

I wash twice, then a third time to get rid of all the excess lube, and shut the water off. Standing in the shower to dry off—because I suddenly respect the bathmat and don’t want to soak it—I catch myself in the fogged mirror above the sink.

Yeah, I look like a hot mess who got fucked in the ass twice within the last six hours, but more than that, I look like I fit here. In this bathroom. In Remy’s shower. In his home. Maybe his life.

Clearer than ever before, my mind thinks about the future. About my future. The business is there, thriving and small enough for us to manage. My brothers are all there, happy and horny and being dipshits as they find their people. And Remy is there, holding my hand through it all, getting up to all sorts of kinky fuckery with… me. Just me. Not an open-door policy like we talked about, but a closed door that sometimes gets cracked open for a look-but-don’t-touch show.

Monogamy. With Remy. That’s my fucking future. Jesus fuck, the epiphany!

I glance around all shady-like, hoping no one saw my lightbulb moment. I’ve always prided myself on being above it all, unable and unwilling to settle for the societal norm. I didn’t dream of a life with a wife and kids, even though I grew up in a great one just like it. I wanted something different. I wanted variety and excitement and a road trip style life with Remy, who came with me everywhere and helped me get up to no good. I was settled in this belief, firm on it, okay with it because my personality was too vast to stay focused on one thing—one person—long enough to get attached to it.

Now I’m an attached little shit with a god complex and a plethora of sexy ideas running through my head. Ideas about how to keep our fuck-life thriving so Remy will never leave me. Ideas about how to merge our lives together, keep our business going, and intensify our relationship without actually calling it a relationship. I’m not against the word, but it feels like something so much stronger than a simple relationship.

It’s a bond. An energy. A vibe no two other people can replicate. It’s an understanding and a lack of understanding that brings us together to create a perfect concoction of eager and hesitant, respectful and tempted. We want and want and want, but we don’t immediately take because learning to curb our desires for newfound feelings is more important. He told me I could break his heart, and I asked him not to make me a Sarah.

We’re vulnerable and happy about it.

I’m not gonna start calling him my boyfriend and taking him on romantic dates. I don’t want a heart-shaped tub and a bunch of flowers or any of that bullshit. The whole romance thing still throws me off a bit because it feels Hallmark. Superficial. Not descriptive enough.

Whatever Remy and I are, we’re something unique only to us, and that’s so much better than whispering ‘I love yous’ in his ear and conforming to society’s standard of dating. I don’t care how we do it, but we’ll figure out a way that works for both of us.

“Did you slip on lube and die in there?” Remy shouts through the door. “Let’s go, asshole! We have work!”

Yeah, no romance here. I grin, stepping my dried feet on the bathmat.

Remy got held up at work. There was some sort of air traffic delay, so now I’m at Jed, Laken, and Kade’s cabin to kill some time and shoot the shit. Dom and Liam are here, and Jed and Kade are fighting with Laken about some camping trip she’s going on with Gar.

Kade leans against the counter, looking dangerous and lethal, about to do something about it, while Jed sits on the counter to play the opposite role. Laken, all hundred and fifteen pounds of her, doesn’t back down.

“Not gonna happen, love,” Jed tells her while Dom hands me a glass of whiskey. “You wanna go camping in the mountains with a group of guys, go for it. But not these guys.”

Laken simmers, not enjoying being told what to do. “Gar will be there.”

“Gar’s a sexy little dipshit who believed Amber over you. We love him, but not for this. You aren’t going, Bossy.”

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