Page 89 of Dare to be Different

“Freya isn’t a Dare. Gen isn’t a Dare. Maeve isn’t a Dare. I’m not a Dare,” I remind her. “Honestly, Lake, I can’t think of anyone better to listen with an open heart, give unbiased support, and encourage people while keeping them tethered to reality. You have this way of making us okay with ourselves. It makes you the perfect person to open a channel.”

Laken studies her mug. “I know. I believe in myself. But what do I really know about these different kinds of relationships and connections? I’m no expert.”

“You know bonds, Lakes. You know intentions and feelings, chemistry. And you know what it’s like to struggle with them, too. If I’m being honest, me and Zahn would probably still be fighting over a blindfolded blowjob if it weren’t for you.”

“Nuh-uh.” Laken shakes her head. “You blurted that one all on your own. No credit to me.” She laughs. “But… how’s that going? You guys seem good, yeah?”

“Am I your trial run for being an advice giver?” I grin at her.

“A listener. Lay it on me, Rem.”

I take a deep breath and set my coffee down because I can focus better without it or something. “I love that fucking asshole in some new way I never saw coming. I want him in my life forever, but I’ve always wanted him in my life, right? It’s just different now, you know? I want more with him, even if I don’t know exactly what that means. It’s like we want a relationship together, but we haven’t really figured out the specifics of it yet.”

Laken smiles. “Just Zahn? Or do you guys want to keep your door open?”

I blush. It’s stupid to blush, but it happens anyway. “I think just Zahn. Like maybe the odd time we might get kinky with someone else, but for the most part, I… I think we just want each other.”

“Love that. So… sexuality wise?”

“Zahn-sexual,” I state. “Can’t come up with a better term. I’ve tried looking at other guys, but no one, not even chicks, are doing it for me. What does that make me?”

“Attracted to Zahn.” She shrugs. Simple. No labels. No titles. Just a fact.

“Attracted to Zahn,” I repeat, testing it. “Demi, I think. I need the bond. Maybe that’s why I was feeling so awkward about random hookups there for a bit. So yeah, I'm just attracted to Zahn, I guess.”

“He is beautiful,” Laken says, laughing.

“He will never let that go.” I shake my head fondly. “See? This is the shit people come to you for. You just simplified everything for me without even doing anything other than stating the facts. You just put it out there, and we hear it, and it settles something inside us. And you don’t make us feel weird about it.”

“Yeah?” she asks. “So, maybe, with the right help and some experts, I can start something? Like a supportive place or a safe space or something? A blog or some shit? A page? I don’t know.”

“Hell yeah you can, Lakes. The people need you. And I’m sure those two dicks you call boyfriends would help you every step of the way.”

“Fiancés.” She wiggles her left hand at me. “Wait, why are you up?”

I grab my phone from my hoodie pocket, open up my messages, and hand it to her.

Mom: Dad’s real sick. Rhett won’t help. Need financial help with medical bills. Call me.

Laken looks at me. “You wanna talk about it?”

The relationship I have with my parents is not terrible, but it also isn’t familial. Fuck my goddamn family. “I have the money. I can help…”

“But?”

“But they don’t ever talk to me unless they need something, and I feel used. But if I don’t offer them help and something happens to my dad, will I be able to live with that, knowing I could have done something?”

For some reason, I cry. I haven’t cried a tear for my family in ten or more years. Now I’m stuck in this weird position, able to help but unsure about my relationship with them, and it’s all heavy and suffocating because it doesn’t make sense. It isn’t clear. There’s no right or wrong answer, and this might be the first time in my life when I wish things were either black or white with no gray in the middle.

Laken gets up on her knees, leans into me, and hugs me. Holds me. She doesn’t say anything or try to make it less stressful, she just offers some love and a reminder that I’m not alone.

The fact that her tight body feels pretty damn good against mine is just the bonus.

We must fall asleep on the couch because the next thing I hear is a bunch of Dares and a whispered conversation about my game and Laken’s punishment.

Her fingers dig into my side, telling me she’s awake and ready to fuck with them, so I bury my grin in her hair and let them hash it out.

“I’m just saying,” Zahn says. “Remy’s got game. They could be naked from the waist down. If anyone can get in Laken’s pants, it’s him. And I’m only a little mad about it.”

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