Page 80 of Dare to be Different

“Obviously.”

“And we fuck around… and want to keep fucking around, right?”

I hate my fair skin for showing my blush. “Yeah.”

“So, we’re just fuck buddies?”

I mean, technically, but it doesn’t sound right. It’s not enough. Whatever we are, it’s more than friendship but hasn’t delved into relationship territory. Do I want that?

“What’re you hinting at?” I ask him. “Get to the point.”

Zahn rubs the back of his neck, looking at me without fully looking at me. “Okay, fuck, this is weird as shit for me to ask because… I’ve never had a… been in a…” He puffs out his cheeks, unsure how to continue. “If we’re doing this, and we’re… you know? Can we… no, wait. That’s not what I mean.”

“Zahn.” I reach across the couch and smack him on the cheek. “Spit it out, bud.”

“Are we capable of cheating on each other?” he blurts. “Do we have rules? Are we just an ‘us’ now? I know I got all weird and jealous, but I don’t know how you feel about that shit, Rem. It freaks me out to think about someone else with you now, and… Shit. Are you okay with that? What the hell are our rules?”

Do we even need rules or are we on the same page? Am I fooling myself into thinking I’m not actually dating my best friend?

“Do you want rules?” I ask him, sort of copping out of answering. Zahn has always been free-spirited. He’s the one who never had lines or boundaries, let alone limits, and I don’t want to be the one to change him if he isn’t ready to change. I love him and know him as he is, and I’ve never had any issue with that before. I don’t want him to think he has to become someone new for me. But at the same time… he’s fucking mine.

“I meant what I said before, Rem. I don’t like anyone else touching you.” He cringes, covering his face. “Yeah, make fun of me all you want. I’ve done a complete one-eighty and got all possessive of you, and I don’t know how to stop it. I don’t even want to stop it. It feels good to be possessive of you. But I don’t know if I’m like, stepping on your toes because you’ve got this new sexuality that you probably wanna explore, right?”

“Yeah, I do wanna explore it.” It’s new and exciting and hot as fuck, to be honest. “But with you. Only you.” Zahn tries to hide a shy smile, but I catch it. “But what about you? You’re the one who lives on vibes. Don’t you want to explore those?”

“I found my fucking vibe, Remy.” He holds his hands out to me. “You. You’re my fucking vibe.”

If my heart skips any more beats, I’m going to fucking die. “Why? Why me?” I laugh to cover my nerves. “I don’t get it.”

Zahn shakes his head. “It’s not something I can explain.” He grabs my hand, not holding it, but fucking with it. “It’s this. The way it feels whenever we fucking touch. It’s just… us.”

I feel it. The way my body responds to him. The way my heartbeat increases and my breath hitches subtly. It’s a warmth that spreads through me, makes me want to get closer to him, and makes me want to know everything about him.

“What about variety?” I force myself to ask.

“I want you, Remy. I know we haven’t gone there, and we don’t have to talk about it right now, but you’re who I want. If we want to add in someone else every now and then, we can decide that together. But right now, I’m not fucking looking. Are you?”

My head shakes all on its own. I don’t even need to think about it. “I’m not looking at anyone but you. But if we ever change our minds and want that again, can we just agree to be honest about it?”

“Honesty,” he agrees, nodding. “What I’m getting at…” He slides closer to me, hand traveling around to the back of my neck. “Don’t make me a Sarah, Remy.”

Don’t cheat on me.

It means we now have the ability to hurt each other in a whole new way. Zahnder Dare just became mine and only mine. Holy fucking hell.

Chapter 32

My first instinct is to go over there and start swinging. My second, less resourceful instinct tells me to look away and remind myself that Remy is allowed to have fun. But I can’t rip my eyes away from that blond bastard, and the more I stare at him, the more my fists ball up.

“Here.” Rydan slides a tumbler of whiskey across the smooth bar top. “Calm the fuck down. He isn’t doing anything wrong, you possessive dick.”

Dammit. I turn my back on Remy and the dancefloor to face the bottles behind the bar. The bass is so heavy it’s forcing my heartbeat to sync to it, and the loud music frustrates me enough to make my angry thoughts angrier. Rage fuel on top of possession that I’ve never felt before, and the mix of it all is disarming. Because Remy is mine, and those assholes out there trying to grope and cop a feel of what is mine should be put in their place.

“Simmer.” Rydan bumps into my side, trying to jar me from my jealousy. “Since when are you so insecure? Jesus. Gen is with him. They’re just dancing.”

“You get used to it,” Four shouts from my other side, pointedly trying not to snap and go over there to pull Gen away. “We’re supposed to be supportive and all about that openness shit, you know? Let them have fun and do their thing. That bullshit.”

Yeah, which is all well and good, but doing their thing involves hands that aren’t ours all over them, bodies that don’t belong to us purposely bumping into them, and whispers in their ears that don’t come from our mouths. I swear to fuck I am not jealous because I don’t trust Remy. I’m jealous because I’m an asshole who has never had someone I’ve wanted to claim all for myself.

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