Page 48 of Dare to be Different

“Is Remy your Gar?”

Shit, is he? Everyone has a boner for Gar. My boner’s pointing right at my blond best friend these days. I smirk, not even ashamed of that.

After finally eating something, I sober up a bit and actually have some fun without worrying about anything. Am I still watching Remy from across the room? Sure. But maybe I’ve always done that. Maybe. I don’t know. When the girls and Liam get home from their night out, happy and drunk, I can’t decide who to creep on more. Laken, Nina, Gar or Remy.

Nina’s got something special going on. I’m pretty sure she wears the dominant pants in her relationship with Bo, and there’s something intriguing about the way she carries herself. And Laken is a tiny package of pure sexiness with an even bigger heart, and the way her aqua eyes light up with challenge when she looks at pretty much anyone or anything she can try to conquer or figure out intrigues me. Gar’s just Gar. No further explanation needed. Hot damn. Before I get to slide my gaze to Remy, Kade walks up and slams his empty glass on the island.

“Told you to keep your eyes off my girl, asshole.” He steals my drink and once again proves that he’s becoming more badass than he’s worth. “Fuck, she looks hot tonight, though, eh?”

Kade watches Laken from across the room like he’s going to threaten her at any moment. When she glances at Kade, her eyes dare him to try, and holy shit. “How do you not blow your load in ten seconds with that level of game?” I ask, laughing, but honestly wanting to know.

It’s the game I live for. A vibe. They have it. And Laken’s vibe with Jed is just as intense, but with a completely different feeling. I’m wondering what kind of energy Remy and I make, if we make any.

Kade watches Laken with darkness in his eyes but a smirk on his lips and softness on his face. “The first night I had sex with her, after pining for her for so fucking long, she got mad at me.”

“Why?”

“Because I wasn’t as aggressive as she’d hoped for. I’d spent so much time taming myself down, trying to compare myself to Jed, that I forgot who I was there for a second. So I turned into the biggest asshole she could envision. She ended up tying me up and having her way with me to prove she was just as tough as I was, and after that, I promised that I’d never try to be anyone other than who I am for her. Because of that one little promise I made to myself, it keeps me from coming too fast because… because that’s not our game, and I’ll keep her living up to my expectations while I live up to hers forever.”

Jesus. Sappy fucking bastard. I knew he had a big ol’ soft heart in his chest, and even though his confession is about sex, I know he means it about life with her, too.

“Happy for you, Kade. You knew what felt right and you fucking went for it. Hit the jackpot with Laken.”

He doesn’t look at me, but he says, “With Jed, too. Shit wouldn’t be the same without him. Without all three of us.”

He means it. I can tell. I want to ask him a bunch of questions about how he knew it felt right and what it feels like to be in something so new that society is only just starting to accept it. But I don’t because he’s Kade and I’m Zahn, and I’m supposed to harp on him and never stop.

“You’re a badass, Kade. Love ya.” I settle somewhere in the middle.

“Don’t fucking kiss me.” He shoves me away, but I manage to plant a sloppy one on his cheek, making him laugh. “Fuck, you’re gross.”

A few hours later, I’m tipsy but not drunk, and being kicked out of my own bedroom.

“Sorry, Zahnder!” Gen shouts.

Whatever. I want to be with Remy anyway, so I head down to the basement to sleep with him on the couch. It’s nothing new, but my intentions for wanting to be near him might be.

He’s on his back in the dark room, the TV on low and his eyes closed. But like fuck am I going to let him sleep while I’m needy. I sit right the fuck on top of him.

He groans. “Fuck. Don’t you have a bedroom?”

“Got kicked out by Genevieve,” I lie. It was Four.

Remy laughs, shifting to balance my weight. “You need your own place.” After a few failed attempts, he pushes me off and sits up next to me. He isn’t wearing a shirt, and his tattooed chest looks sharp and angular in the flashing lights of the TV. Maybe I really do need to hit the gym with Jed more often. “What?” he asks, catching me gawking.

Okay, I’m comfortable enough to be bold. “You think it was hot as fuck when we kissed?”

He swallows as his eyes widen, and he pushes up on his elbows to sit even straighter. But because he’s Remy, and we have this level of comfort, he doesn’t look away from me or get shy. “Yeah.” He nods and shrugs together, then his hand goes through his hair and I watch his biceps. “You?”

“Yeah.” I get comfortable and lean my head against the back of the couch. “I don’t know what it all means, though.”

He matches my position next to me. “Means?”

“Yeah, like why shit feels so good with you. Is it just us getting caught up in the moment? Is my mind getting so fucked up that I’m starting to crave the wrong things?”

“Why’s it wrong?” His voice sounds cute, and that’s not a thought I’ve ever had while talking to him. He’s hesitant and bold, and the combination in his tone is fucking adorable.

“Because you’re my best friend. Because you aren’t gay or bi or pan or anything. Because we’re risking it all by getting down and dirty together, but I don’t really wanna stop either, which makes me feel like I don’t respect our friendship. But it’s not that. It’s that I respect our friendship so much that I think we could survive anything. But mostly, it’s because all this shit is so confusing. Like… where did it come from?” I tilt my head to the side, looking at him.

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