Page 13 of Dare to be Different

I turn my back on him, feeling weird about seeing him angry about this. Like… it’s Remy. Why the hell would he care? “What difference does it make?” Maybe I’m not as comfortable with him as I thought I was.

“It makes all the fucking difference, Zahn!”

“Why?” I butt in, spinning to level him with a glare. “So fucking what? I don’t care who does what, so why should you?”

“Because I didn’t know!” He points at me, blue eyes blazing and cheeks flushed pink. “Why didn’t I know?”

I shrug again. “It never came up?”

“I’m your best friend, aren’t I? I’m your best friend… you bring that shit up!” His face falls a little, suddenly looking self-conscious. “You don’t trust me?”

“What? Of course I trust you.”

“Not enough to tell me.”

“It hasn’t happened with you around, so it just never came up. I didn’t think it was something I had to tell.”

Remy shakes his head at me again. “You’ve done this before? With guys?”

“A little. Mostly if a chick is there, too. It just happens.” I look at him, wondering what the hell the actual problem is here. “Why are you pissed?”

“Because I didn’t know. If anyone should know, it’s me! You didn’t tell me something big about you and it…” He looks at me then looks away.

I’m so confused right now, and apparently, confusion makes me angry. “I told you it never came up. Why are you making a big deal out of this?”

“Because you didn’t trust me, Zahn!” he shouts at me, red-faced. “You didn’t trust me, man,” he repeats, sounding way more defeated than I’ve ever heard him before.

“That’s what you think this is? That I kept a secret from you?” I run my fingers through my hair, feeling pretty shitty about that, actually.

“Yeah, you dick. I should know these things about you. You should confide in me.” He shakes his head. “I didn’t know, and now it makes me feel like I’m missing all these parts of you. Like there’s this whole other side you don’t even show me. Fuck, man. How many times have we fucked around together with other people, and I didn’t even know this whole other… part of you?”

“Not on purpose. Fuck, Rem. I’m sorry. I just never thought it was a big deal. Just… me, and I figured you know me well enough to just roll with whatever. I didn’t think I had to make some announcement.”

“You know everything about me, Zahn. Everything. Why hide from me?”

Okay, so maybe the truth is about to blurt out of my mouth. “Because I didn’t want to freak you out! We hook up in the same… I just didn’t want you to think I was…”

“What?” He throws his arms wide. “What, Zahn?”

“I didn’t want you to think it was weird and then you’d stop doing that shit with me.” There, you dick. “Happy?”

“No, I’m not happy. Don’t hide shit from me, you fucking asshole.”

“Why not, Rem?” My anger flares again. “Tell me something. Next time we’re getting laid at the same time, are you going to be second-guessing everything because you’ll feel weird around me?”

“No!”

“Are you going to think I’m checking you out? Huh?”

“Fuck you, Zahn.” He shoves me in the chest and my back hits the kitchen cabinets. “Don’t even ask me that shit.”

“It’s a legitimate question.” I shove him back.

“No! I won’t feel weird. I won’t feel weird because you’re my best friend and I fucking trust you! Like you should have trusted me!”

“Yeah, look how well it’s going so far.” I grab the bottle again.

“Because you lied to me.”

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