Page 9 of Dare to be Different

“You’ve never waited outside for him before. He likes coming into the house, baby. What’s your deal? You can’t fool me.”

“Sometimes I just need to take a beat.” I shrug.

“You? Zahnder Dare, who rolls with the punches and never gets worked up about anything, needs to take a beat? No. I don’t buy it.”

“Fuck you and your porch chats, Mom.”

She smirks but says nothing, so here we fucking go.

“I feel weird, but I don’t know why. It’s dumb. Nothing is bothering me, so I don’t know what’s up.”

“Try talking me through it,” she offers.

I shake my head. “Let me sort it out in my own head before I say this shit out loud.” Because it’s most likely about the depths of my sexual desires and lack of fun with vanilla sex these days. “You still have to be my mom after I lay all my confessions out for ya.”

“You can’t scare me that easily, Zahn. Always here.”

Hardin, thankfully, chooses that moment to come out in a bitchy mood. “Give me one of those. Freya’s in a fucking mood.” He takes a smoke from Mom’s pack. He looks exhausted, and I like how it looks on him. Freya likes some angry sex lately, and it’s nice to see Hardin in his place, taking everything she can give him.

Mom passes him a lighter and calls him an idiot for smoking. “You give her whatever she needs, Hardin Dare. She’s carrying your baby and doing all the work.”

Hardin snaps. “My dick can only handle so much fucking, Mom!” He’s not even joking. He’s seriously bitching about too much sex?

“Are you even a Dare?” I scoff at him.

“She’s gonna kill me, Zahn.” He sits down and wipes sweat off his forehead, sitting in a t-shirt in the snow. “She’s always been horny, and I prided myself on keeping up with her, but this is a whole new level. Snacks and sex. That’s life now.”

“And you’re bitching why?” Sounds pretty damn perfect to me.

“Because she’s showing me I’m a little bitch,” he admits. “Not ashamed to say she wears the pants, but fuck, I need some shorts at least.”

I laugh at that, but don’t get time to mock him for it. Rydan comes out, throwing a coat on and leaning against the railing.

“What’s your problem?” he asks me. Mom, realizing the two of them are taking over her porch chat, smiles at me before she walks back inside.

“Nothing. Why does everyone keep asking me that?”

“Because you’re sitting out here like a dipshit. Not like you to sit out a party.” Hardin steals Mom’s blanket.

“I’m not sitting it out. I’m waiting for Remy. Lay off.”

“That fucker wants to party, too. Something’s up.” Rydan studies me like he’s going to find all the answers on my blank face. Keep looking, bud. “Shit weird with you and Rem after your group fuck?”

I shake my head. “No. We’ve done that before.”

“Okay, then is shit weird in your head after the group fuck?” Hardin amends the question.

Leave it to these two to understand how deep my mind goes. My head isn’t right, but it isn’t fixating on one particular thing. It’s more curious about if I need more than sex to get off all of a sudden. If I need a different vibe. “No, not really.”

“Not really? But something has you overthinking, yeah?” Ry asks.

I shrug.

“You can talk to us about this shit. My girlfriend is trying to kill me. I need the distraction.” Hardin leans back and takes a drag.

I don’t even know where to start because I don’t really understand what’s going on in my mind. I’ve never been good at analyzing things, and honestly, I don’t typically have much to analyze. I’m a simple guy with simple pleasures. Maybe that’s the problem. My pleasures aren’t so simple anymore, and it’s freaking me out a bit because I don’t want to be complicated.

“I dunno. Sometimes I think I’m getting so fucked up that basic sex doesn’t do it for me anymore. Like my mind can’t stay focused on sex if more sex isn’t going on around me.” I feel dumb as soon as I say it. “It’s nothing. Stupid bullshit.” Really wish I liked cigarettes.

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