“Right fucking now.”

Because I’m done overthinking. Done waiting. Done wondering how the fuck I changed so much and so fast. Done wondering why my best friend is the only person I’ve ever wanted to be with. And done overthinking where my life is going. Because wherever the fuck it goes, Remy will be there, and that’s all I really need to know.

Remy must be done, too, because he grabs my wrist and tugs me through the house. On our way to the bedroom, he grabs a brand new package of lube from a bag in the kitchen, a glass of water that is sitting on the counter, and spares a single glance at his dwindling fire. When we’re in his bedroom, he drops everything on the nightstand, and then his body is crashing against mine and his mouth is kissing me, and fuck yeah. This is what I want.

When his tongue meets mine, I lean into the kiss. When his hands push under my shirt, I lift my arms to let him pull it off. When he groans in pure lust against my skin, I lose all sense of control and push him onto the bed, climbing on top like a feral beast.

I rip his hoodie and t-shirt off, licking and nipping my way down his chest. When his hips buck up from my tongue on his nipples, I add a little bite and smirk when he curses.

“Fuck, Zahn.” He fists my hair, holding me there. Remy gets lost to sensation, but when I take charge again, undoing his pants, he bolts upright. “Wait a fucking second. What do you think you’re doing?”

“Fucking you,” I say.

“Not a fucking chance, Zahn.” He pushes me up and gets my pants and boxers off in an uncoordinated rush. “I won our fuck bet fight. Your ass is mine.”

Oh, hell. Why did that make my dick jerk and start leaking precum?

Chapter 39

Zahn is a weird concoction of nervous, playful, silly and aroused. I’ve never seen him like this before, but damn if it isn’t making this milestone moment more relaxed. He’s laughing at me while groping me, caught between desire and nervousness.

“I think that’s enough, Remy.” He grins, letting out a slow, sexy laugh.

“Are you sure?” I’m panicking a little. Not gonna lie.

“Remy!” he shouts, grabbing the brand new bottle of lube that is half empty now. “If you add any more lube, we’re going to slide right off each other. It’s more than enough.” He tosses the bottle. “Fuck me.”

How? What position? How does sex with him start? Do I have to warm him up first, or can I just fucking get in there? This is all new to me, and now I’m second-guessing if two fingers as prep is enough.

“Remy.” Zahn grabs my cheeks. “Hesitate any longer and I’ll use the other half of that bottle on your ass and start this show myself. Stop worrying. I don’t mind some pain.” He smirks. “Go slow.”

Alright, fuck it. I grab the bottle and set it next to him on the bed, just in case we need more than half a fucking bottle. I want this. He wants it. We’re ready. No more hesitating. I kiss his smirking lips and push him onto his back.

“You want it like this?” he teases, looking up at me.

Yes, I want it like this because I want to be able to see his face the first time I fuck him. I’m not going to admit that, because fuck him, but really, fuck him.

Naked and slightly afraid, I push his knees apart and kneel between his legs. Zahn shivers when I slide my hands up the inside of his legs, his chest rising and falling because he has no chill. It builds my confidence enough to take him in my fist, letting my fingers fondle his balls. I thought it might take some getting used to, touching a man like this, but no. As soon as he sucks in a gasp, I dip my fingers back even farther, pressing two into his already lubed and stretched hole.

“Yeah, I kind of like that,” he rasps.

“You better.” I finger fuck him, losing a bit of coordination with my right hand on his shaft. “Because my dick is gonna be in there.”

“Is it?” he teases me. “Feels like you’re stalling.”

I add a third finger, slowly opening him for me.

“Ugh,” he groans. “Come on, Remy. I’m prepped. Let me feel you.” He reaches forward, spreading the obscene amount of leftover lube over my cock.

When I grab the bottle and add a little more, he laughs at me, and I can’t help but laugh back. To be honest, this is not what I was expecting for our first time. I thought it’d be all heat of the moment, barbaric, hedonistic and rushed, but this playful, slightly nervous atmosphere feels kind of perfect.

Lubed up and ready to go, I try to spread his legs wider, pushing his knees back, but they won’t go. “Jesus fuck, Zahn. You need to do more yoga if you’re gonna start taking dick.”

“Yoga later,” he snaps at me. “Just fuck me now.”

I tug under his knees, bringing his ass flush with my body. When the head of my dick presses against his hole, a rush of something powerful waves through me. Zahn’s eyes meet mine, his green gaze just as powerful as the rush that passes through me. He nods, licking his lips, and I swallow the remainder of my nerves.

I nudge against him, leaning forward slightly. Zahn tenses, but his hands grab at my hips, pulling me forward. When I break through the tight ring of muscle, I let out a guttural groan.