Page 87 of Dare to be Different

“I’m changing anyway.” I shrug. “I… I want you to want those things.”

Fucking vulnerabilities are a real cunt. Change is terrifying all on its own, but loving someone creates a whole new set of fears that bring a whole new set of risks. We might not feel the same way, want the same things, dream of the same future, and wouldn’t that fucking suck? We’ve lived life together as partners without ever thinking about it, but now we’re thinking about it just because the label is changing. Isn’t that dumb? Shouldn’t we trust each other to carry on with this new way of meshing together simply because we’ll always have each other’s best interests at heart?

Remy breathes in through his nose, looking between my eyes and my mouth. “Then I want them. This is me admitting it. Don’t run away from it because it scares you, Zahn. Because if you do, you’ll break me, too.”

There. There it is. The love confession. He feels the same.

I want to smirk or grin, but instead, something shy and happy tilts my lips into some semblance of a smile that feels fucking weird but nice. Feelings! I love them, but they’re hard to talk about.

“But,” Remy says, snapping my attention back to him. “We haven’t even fucked yet. You could be a shitty lay.”

Okay, the grin comes back. “I am not a shitty lay.”

He shrugs, moving through the water. “How am I supposed to know?”

“Is this us having the sex talk in person like you wanted, Rem?” I will not shy away from this chat. “Because I’m down.”

“Okay, so bend over right now. Let’s test the theory.”

“You think I’m gonna just bend over for you that easily?” I scoff. “Please. You haven’t earned it.”

“How do I earn it?” he asks, pushing my legs apart to crawl between them. “How do we fuck without knowing what we like?”

“I’ll fight ya for it,” I offer. “I’ve been training with Jed, and I think I can kick your ass now. Three rounds, and whoever wins gets to… top or bottom?”

“We both wanna top, right?” he asks, and I nod. “But we’re both nervous about bottoming. So winner gets to top first. Takes the pressure off.”

“Deal.”

Remy laughs. “You would make this into a bet.”

“Are you afraid you’ll lose?” I goad him.

“Fuck no. I know I can take you.” He smirks, probably meaning that in more ways than one. “I’ll take the bet. Better start thinking about how you wanna get fucked, Zahn.”

Oh, trust me, bud. I’m fucking thinking about it.

“When’s this fuck bet happening?”

Remy’s eyes are full of challenge when he leans in and whispers against my lips. “Soon. Because I’m getting impatient, Zahn.”

Goddamn.

“Tonight, I wanna taste you again.”

Okay, so it definitely wasn’t just the blindfold. Remy is literally bringing me to my knees with his mouth, and a tongue I never knew could do such wicked things. I can’t hold myself up, let alone keep my shit together, so I’m sliding down the wall like an idiot, barely able to form a coherent thought.

Remy pushes me back against the wall, thinks better of it, and gets off his knees. “Fucking lazy,” he complains, steering me towards the bed. I fall on my back, bouncing up to my elbows as he climbs on top of my legs and gets back to it.

This is happening. He’s sucking my dick with no reservations, and this time, I can watch it. But I’m doing so much more than watching. I’m transfixed, completely consumed, alert as fuck, yet barely able to process the visual with how good it feels. His stubbly face and those stormy blue eyes in the same view frame as my cock, wet and leaking, hard as all get out, is the sexiest sight ever. Pair that with the feel of his warm mouth wrapped around me, the press of the back of his throat, and the desperate sounds he’s making, and I can’t believe I’m still holding on.

It’s his blond hair that has my fingers twitchy. I want to touch it, and not just to force his movements, but to feel it against my skin, to revel in the way his head bobs on my cock. To connect with him.

I do it. My fingers slip through the strands, massaging his scalp before grabbing a fistful just because I can—because I want to. “Fuck, Remy. How are you so good at this?” I watch him through desire goggles, unable to see anything except him and my new sexual attraction to him.

He’s got one hand on me, pumping my shaft, and his mouth doing all the dirty work. His other hand is shamelessly stroking his own cock, and I’m a bit jealous of it.

“Remy,” I moan.

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