Page 101 of Dare to be Different

“Thanks.” I take one and sip.

“You okay, hun?” she asks, sitting in a rocking chair next to me. She lights a cigarette and doesn’t scold me for smoking my own.

I am okay. I really am. I’m handling it better than I thought I would, but that might be because I’m slightly detached from my dad. But it also might be because I’m happy in other aspects of my life. Zahn, specifically.

“Yeah. Just thinking about it all feels weird.”

“Is he handling the treatments alright?” she asks.

I shake my head. “They say the treatments are only going to make him sicker. They might fix the cancer if his body can survive them, but he’s not a very healthy man, so…”

Rayne reaches over and wordlessly touches my hand. It breaks a dam of emotion inside me because she’s the only real mother figure I’ve ever known, and I trust an emotional breakdown in front of her.

The next thing I know, I’m spilling my guts.

“It’s just, I’ve got all these fucking questions, you know? Like, what if Mom wasn’t a hoarder? Would Dad be healthier if he lived in a healthier house, not breathing toxic air all day? Would he have been more active if the house wasn’t dragging him down? What if they weren’t poor? Would they have sought out treatment sooner? Could I have helped them a long time ago but they had too much pride to ask? Or did I neglect them like they neglected me all my life? I could have at least checked in more, right?”

I take a drag and try to slow my thoughts down.

“And what the fuck is even going to happen if he dies? My mom can’t take care of herself, and Rhett sure as shit won’t help, so does that fall to me? Do I have it in me to fight with her every day about a healthier lifestyle and a clean house? After all this time, I know she doesn’t want to hear it, and she definitely doesn’t want to hear it from me. I don’t know what my role in this is! They’ve never treated me like their kid, but now that he’s dying, I feel like I’m obligated to owe them my time and money just because we’re blood-related or some shit. They’re my family, but they’re not my family, you know? The Dares are my family. I just… I don’t know what to do, Rayne.”

Rayne doesn’t rush her response. She never does. I just unloaded on her, and she’s so casual about it that it forces me to take a beat and settle myself down.

“You take it one day at a time, and you always remember that you have our entire family at your back. You reach out for help when you need it, whether that be to us, to medical aid, to a therapist, or to anyone who might help. And if you can’t find the right person, you come to me and Corbin and we’ll help you find the right one. We’re here, Remy. You aren’t about to take this all on alone. We’re your family, too.”

She is my family, and now that she’s said it, my mind is off on a different tangent. “I think I love Zahn.” Blurted that one right out without any pretext. Jesus, Remy.

“You’ve always loved that idiot,” she huffs at me.

I love it when she calls her boys idiots. Isn’t afraid to say it how it is. “It’s different now, though.”

“Different doesn’t have to mean anything scary. Just love him and go from there. You two will figure it out.” She shrugs, smoking.

“Does it upset you?” I’m hesitant to ask because Rayne is the one person I respect more than anything and everyone else. Her opinion matters to me, and her love for me is vital to my life. I’ve always just been the best friend who got up to constant trouble with her son, the extra son she didn’t ask for but took in regardless, and the only blond boy at the dinner table. Will she accept me in this new role?

“Yes,” she says, stubbing out her smoke. My heart sinks. “It upsets me that you’d even ask such a stupid question. I know we always say there are no stupid ones, but that was a stupid one, Remy. Don’t let Zahn’s idiot wear off on you.” She laughs. “It takes a special kind of someone to put up with Zahn’s mentality. That special someone has always been you because you’ve been right there, leading the way with him. This changes nothing. You were both bound to be in each other’s lives forever, and I respect that the meaning has changed.”

“Are you sure? It’s not weird for you?”

“Everything these pricks do is weird to me. Trying talking two of your sons out of killing each other and having to listen to their sex stories about the same girl. Then we’ll talk weird.” She stands up. “I respect the hell out of the two of you for handling this shift with so much dignity. You aren’t in need of a porch chat, Remy.” She leans down, kissing my head. “Now come eat breakfast because Zahn is still waiting for the shower.”

Well, it might not have been an infamous Rayne Dare porch chat, but fuck me, I feel better already.

As I sit around the table with the whole Dare crew, I wonder if a family like this is in my future. Maybe not kids, but this family right here. Maybe I’ll always be at dinners with them, watching them grow, blending in and being a part of their lives for the rest of mine. Zahn at my side.

We might not be ready for that step in whatever this thing we’re doing is, but there might be a step we are at.

Chapter 42

Work was shit today. The flying conditions were horrible, visibility was limited, the cargo company I had to deal with were all a bunch of douchebags, and the engine overheated as soon as I landed at the airfield. It was all a bunch of shit.

But you know what made up for it?

Remy.

“You’re sure?” I lick him from base to tip, watching him shiver in pleasure. “Because I really fucking want this, Remy.” I run my fist up and down the length of him. “Now that I know how good it feels to get fucked by you, I want you to know what it feels like to have my cock in your perfect ass.” I lick the bead of precum from his tip, goading him into an answer even though I already know he wants this. I need the verbal.

“Mm, yes. Yes.”

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