Page 1 of Double Dare

Chapter 1

The worst part about fighting is not knowing the reason behind it.

Kade comes at me hard. I barely have time to block his assault before his knee slams into my gut and his fist cracks against my jaw. My teeth clack together with my cheek between them, and blood is drawn, pooling in my mouth to fuel my confused rage.

I shake my head, staunching this uncertainty and refusing to lose the fight. This is my sport, and like hell am I going to let him beat me at it. I go on offense, landing a kick to his hamstring that has him stumbling back. While he’s off balance, I land a few more blows, bringing a gush of blood from his nose. He shoves me off, wiping his face with his already bloody hands, his eyes crazed, his muscles coiled, his confusion just as obvious as mine. But what he has that I don’t is guilt. He thinks he deserves this beating, but I can’t really feel the strength of that through my clouded mind.

We circle each other like caged animals. The fence around the octagon keeps us contained, but our need to hash it out and let it out is the only true thing keeping us inside the ring.

Feelings. We suck at feeling them.

“Stop holding back, asshole,” Kade snarls at me like a monster, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“Stop being a pussy and actually fight me,” I snap back, my fists raised and the fight still in me. Taunting him is the language I speak best, and at a time like this, it comes out as my default setting.

He takes the bait.

We beat the shit out of each other until we’re panting, bloody, exhausted and slightly less pent up, and then we keep going until our arms are too weak to land proper punches. He stumbles into the cage, bent over and breathing hard, blood dripping from his nose and mouth to slick down his sweaty, tattooed chest. The sight of him bleeding makes me feel a little better about the state I’m in. I swear to fuck this cut in my eyebrow is never going to fully heal.

I watch him out of the corner of my eye to make sure he isn’t going to come back at me, but while my lungs remind me that smoking isn’t a good hobby for an athlete, and my legs tremble from something worse than exhaustion—the comedown from adrenaline—I get all confused again. What the fuck are we even fighting about?

Is this about the bet? Is it about what happened last night in the truck? Am I hating myself and taking it out on him, or am I hating him because he wants my girl and I’m afraid to lose her? But…I’m not afraid to lose her. Not really. I know she’s mine and things might be changing, but she’s going to be mine when everything is said and done, so that’s not the reason either.

I knew I was confused, but the more I try to make sense of it, the worse my thoughts get all tangled up. I need whiskey to loosen their threads and a smoke to settle them down. Jesus.

“I’m done,” I tell him, leaning against the cage. “I’m done, Kade.”

He’s glaring at me, trying to rev me back up because he wants this beating. He’s the one who crossed the line, but I’m the one who told him to, and Laken is the one who crossed it with him. She should be here, kicking both our asses, calling us idiots, and solving this thing before we die from a lack of understanding.

“Like fuck you are,” he says.

I shake my head, turning around so I don’t have to look at his guilty face. I don’t even know why his guilt is bothering me so much, but I want to knock him out just so his eyes close and hide it from me.

“Fucking pussy,” he mutters under his breath.

Okay, back in it.

With whatever meager bits of energy I have left, I go at him hard. My confusion gets replaced with a surge of adrenaline, and I crack him in the gut so hard he goes down. He manages a wild swing that catches my already messed up eyebrow, and then I straddle him, pounding into him while he fights me off. When he bucks his hips and my body is too weak to stay on top, we both crumple to the mats, entirely spent.

I breathe hard, staring at the ceiling of my gym, listening to him pant beside me. I’m bleeding all over the place, but the energy in my body hasn’t let the pain surface yet; it’ll come later, about the same time the confusion sets back in.

“You held back, fucker,” Kade wheezes, throwing an arm over his eyes and planting his feet on the mat.

I did hold back, but not at the end there. I won’t admit that to him, because…fuck him. I hate that he’s getting so good at this, but I’m kind of smug about it too because I’m the one who trained him.

He won’t look at me and I won’t look at him, but the sounds of our hearts and our lungs fill up the silence, and if I listen hard enough, I can hear a whir in his mind that matches the one in mine. We’re both thinking about Laken and what this fight actually means.

As much as I can’t blame him for falling for her, she’s still mine. I love that girl more than anything, apart from my family, and I’ll do anything to support her. I know she’s open minded, progressive, sexually charged, and has enough love in her heart to spread it everywhere, and that’s what has my head all muddled up. I know I won’t lose her, but…does she want more? With Kade?

I don’t even know why I suggested that last night in the truck. Was I doing it because I knew Kade wanted it? Was it for Laken, to show her she’s allowed to be kinky? Was it for me because…because I wanted to see what they’d be like together?

Hot. They were hot together, and I still don’t know how I feel about that.

“Let’s just end this shit. Bet over, okay?” Kade says, interrupting my thoughts that weren’t even making sense.

“Was it even about the bet?” I still can’t look at him. Why? I don’t know. I’m afraid there will still be guilt in his eyes.

“I don’t fucking know, Jed,” he barks at me, his arm still draped over his face. “Are we pissed at each other? Are you mad at me?” In my peripheral vision, I see him remove his arm and roll his head toward me.

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