Page 49 of Double Dare

There’s this tense moment where the Dare boys, Gar, Remy, and Liam all look between each other. It’s a decision to stay and fight, to have each other’s backs, and I’m just standing here like a pathetic doll. My mouth won’t say anything, my feet won’t move, and my mind is reeling in shame and guilt for bringing trouble to the Dares.

Why does this keep happening to me? I don’t want to be a victim!

“Hardin,” Jed says. “Get the girls to the truck when shit hits the fan.”

Hardin nods, attention alert. He grips my wrist, not willing to lose contact with me.

“Please, Jed. Don’t do this. This is my fight.”

Jed looks at me as taunts and jibes start flying between Mills and the Dare boys. “Are you fucking kidding me, Laken? No. This is not your fight. You’ve done nothing wrong. They just came here looking for a fight and decided to bring up this bullshit. It has nothing to do with you.” He steps in front of me. “Get home. We’ll follow. Everything is going to be fine.”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to say I’m not some little girl who needs to drive off to safety while he fights my battles for me, but I can’t say it. I can’t. Because he’s right. They’re going to use me to aggravate the Dares, and the only purpose I have here is as a distraction. Once again, I can’t do anything to help myself, and that, more than anything, hurts my fucking pride.

“Please, be careful. Don’t do anything stupid.” I find Kade up front, trying to convey the same message to him. “Careful.”

Kade licks his lips, offering me a devilish smirk that sort of relaxes me a little.

“Love you. Be home soon.”

And then all hell breaks loose.

Hardin tugs on my wrist, pushing us toward the truck. He’s got one eye on us and one eye on the fight, clicking open the door to push us inside as the fight ramps up.

A bottle hits the truck, shattering right next to Hardin’s head. “Fuck, Lake. Get in. Can you drive?”

“Yeah,” I say, in a daze, climbing over the console. “Be careful.”

“Straight home. Got it?”

I nod.

Hardin squeezes my hand, looking at the three of us. “No stopping.” He runs off to help his family in this fight that is completely my fault.

It goes against everything within me, but I get the truck in drive and pull out of the field. As soon as we’re on the road, reality sets in, and my shame kicks up. I left them all back there to fight a battle they shouldn’t have to fight. My dam breaks and I start crying like an idiot, not knowing what to do or how to feel about any of this.

“Pull over,” Nina says at the same time Gen asks, “What’s happening right now?”

I pull over, switching spots with Nina so she can drive.

“Are they going to be okay?” Gen asks, panic in her voice. “Why are those guys doing this to you?”

“Because they’re fucking assholes,” Nina shouts, hands slamming on the steering wheel. “We aren’t being followed, but someone should call Corbin. Tell him what’s happening.”

I pull my phone out, calling Corbin in a daze, trying to explain the situation. Nina shouts at the phone, telling him where we are, and he tells us to stop driving. So, Nina pulls over and we wait.

“What if they get hurt?” Gen asks. “I should have stayed to make sure they’re all medically fine.”

“Gen,” Nina says. “Not right now. Just…fuck.”

Silence and fear. That’s what fills the truck as we wait for Corbin.

I hate my body. I hate my looks. I hate everything about the trouble my body type brings. I hate the way men look at me like I’m something to conquer, and I hate the way they win because they’re bigger and stronger than I am. I hate that no matter how I dress, I’m always asking for it. I hate that there’s nothing I can do to change what I look like, and I hate the way it feels to be uncomfortable in a body a lot of females desire for themselves. It’s guilt and shame wrapped up in one clusterfuck of turmoil, and I can’t win.

I’m never wearing makeup again. I’m hacking my hair off. Staying in baggy clothes. Hiding myself from trouble because that’s all I seem capable of bringing with the way I look. I’m just that little hot blond and nothing more. That’s all I’ll ever fucking be. A victim forever, no matter how hard I try not to be.

I’m supposed to love my body, but so often, I resent it.

Twenty minutes later, Corbin pulls up behind us. When he opens the door, he smiles at the three of us, asking if we’re okay.

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