Page 28 of Rolling Thunder

“The condom broke.” A bloom of anxiety unfurled in her chest. It mixed with the already potent turmoil he’d unleashed inside her. And now, no fucking condom.

She needed a pregnancy scare like she needed another foreclosure notice—and that was before she thought about diseases. He’d already let himself inside her psyche during that unbelievably hot sex where she’d totally lost control to him again. She felt absolutely exposed, raw, and her emotions were unmanageable. Her throat closed, and hot tears filled her eyes and, yeah—this was worse. How to Make a Bad Situation Worse, by Kayla Daniels! Simply start crying on the guy you just fucked in your kitchen.

“Hey,”he said, sitting down beside her.

“I’m sorry,” she choked out.

“For what? I’m sorry.”

Somehow, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t fake anything around him. She couldn’t put on a poker face. She couldn’t show him only what she wanted him to see. He put his arm around her. Why was he being so good to her? He kissed her temple. No. This had to stop.

“It’ll be okay. I’m tested, for what it’s worth.”

She nodded. “Me too.”

“What do you want to do?”

“I’ll take care of it,” she said, her voice clipped. Right now, she had to get away from him. Thinking about STDs and accidental pregnancy threw the lid off the tomb. It was a heavy concrete esophagus where she had locked her secrets instead of the dead. Now, the ghosts of the past reached for her with cold fingers that squeezed the air out of her lungs. Cold hands of secrets clapped over her mouth, numbing her lips, reminding her she must never speak. And they were dragging her away…away from the warm living…away from Evan.

The remote feeling of cold was a comfort, enabling her to act. She stood up, shrugging him off. She went into the bathroom, rinsed off, and yanked on some yoga pants and a T-shirt.

“I’m going to run to the pharmacy. I’ll get the dog food for you.”

She preferred not to bring men home, and this was why. When she wanted to cut things off, she couldn’t just dash out the door and disappear into the night. She had a good excuse to go out, which was his cue to leave.

“Emergency contraceptive?” he asked. She nodded.

“Okay.” He said it like he had more to say, but something held him back.

She returned to the kitchen, finding Abbey curled up, asleep, on her discarded clothes. It was sweet and slightly pitiful. For a moment, the sight of the dog broke through the veil that had dropped over her. She didn’t want to be alone anymore, to shoulder the burdens, to self-soothe with alcohol. When she was around Evan, she felt like she could have something else, and the loss of it was a visceral ache.

EVAN

Kayla opened a cabinet and pulled out the dog food bin for him. As he took it from her, she met his gaze for an instant. The connection was still just strong enough that he could see past the facade she was holding up for a second. Wanting to reach for her, he reached for the dog food instead. He couldn’t stand the loneliness and despair he caught a glimpse of.

She released the dog food and hastily turned away from him, heading for the door. She was obviously trying to brush him off. She didn’t seem to blame him, but maybe she was just being polite, because right now, she looked like she never wanted to see him again. All her signals were firing at him to stay back.

He began second-guessing himself even more. He half expected her to demand answers about his prison term. Dan said it had been all over the entertainment networks. It was probably just a matter of time until camera crews showed up at his doorstep. Maybe she did know? Had she just decided to have sex with him anyway, but now had buyer’s remorse? It was too much to figure out. She was obviously giving him the shove off, and he was letting her do it because short of confronting her, he didn’t know what else to do.

He was frustrated as hell that this was happening again. Something special happened when they were together. He wanted more of it. Obviously, she did too since she’d basically jumped his bones as soon as he got to her house. But just as quickly as the magic came, it went away. It was just as well. Maybe she was still seeing Trent and just didn’t want to tell him.

From the porch, he glanced down at the barn and saw an older man with a long biker ponytail carrying a ladder around the back of the barn. He looked like a character…somebody who had done some living. Evan knew the type. And he didn’t know how he felt about Kayla being alone out here with him.

“Who’s that?”he asked, a little more sharply than he had intended.

“It’s okay, that’s Canyon Bill. He’s…sort of family. I guess the closest thing I have to a grandfather. He’s fixing my barn roof without my permission.”

Evan was skeptical. “Want me to run him off?”

She looked wistfully down at the barn, where a hammer had taken up a rhythm on the roof. “If I know him, you won’t have to. He won’t be around long anyway,” Kayla replied, and there was a sadness in her tone that stabbed Evan’s heart. She didn’t know how sad she sounded. She turned to her truck. “See ya,” she said over her shoulder, emotionless.

That was the last straw. He caught her hand just before she was out of reach. She froze and turned slightly back toward him. The dull resignation in her eyes—knowing this drifter who had showed up would drift on—made him feel all the more like he wanted to be the man to show up for her. Which was crazy, especially considering five minutes ago, he’d been mentally ready to cut her loose. He bristled at the thought of her out here by herself, bristled at the thought of another man touching her. It all had to wait. He didn’t know what was going on in her head, so instead of trying to fix it with words, he drew her in to him.

All it took to restart the magic was some proximity, or better yet, a touch of skin on skin. She didn’t step back when he closed the distance to her and kissed her. She softened against him. He ran his hands through her hair and held her, wishing she wouldn’t to push him away like she was. The chemistry was hot. He knew she wanted him as much as he wanted her. So why did she fight against an orgasm? Why did she shut down as soon as they had sex? Why did she keep running away from him when it seemed like she didn’t really want to?

He pulled her close and held her against him. She quivered slightly in his arms, and his mind immediately flashed to her bare back in a sheen of sweat as he fucked her in the kitchen, the shocked cries of ecstasy when she’d come, her trembling vulnerability letting him finger-fuck her ass. After the condom break, something had changed. She’d visibly drifted away. She fit perfectly against him even now, and when he reluctantly released her, he saw the light had returned to her, at least a little. She didn’t let go of him quickly. She didn’t want to.

He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and pulled out a hundred-dollar bill.

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